Dakota Fanning might live in a cave

July 27th, 2007 // 252 Comments

I’m not going to say anything mean about these pictures of Dakota Fanning because she’s only 13-years-old and honesty is only reserved for adults. Well that, and I’m actually a little scared of her. If it was dark and I saw her walking towards me on the street I wouldn’t even think, I’d just throw my keys at her and run.

One more shot of Dakota Fanning after the jump.

NOTE: Was that mean? Was what I said mean? I didn’t mean it to be. Oh God, she’s in my closet isn’t she? *Runs out of the room screaming*



  1. wedgeone

    I called. She sounded pinched, bitter, neurotic, and annoying as hell. I think it was jrzmommy.

  2. whosaidwhat

    So Samantha (#95 et. al.), you’re from Grand Prairie, Texas, and you want us to call your Cingular Wireless cell phone. Very interesting, because I actually do happen to know a ho or two from Grand Prairie. Is that you?

  3. Helena

    This fucking stupid website. What a boring post.

    She’s THIRTEEN. I guess her parents should spray her down with self-tanner, like fucking child pageant parents. Evan Rachel Wood, Naomi Watts, Cate Blanchett, and god knows how many other (gorgeous) celebrities…they’re naturally pale. Look even paler if they have camera bulbs snapping at them, and if they have people jumping out of the bushes and snapping pictures at them from the moment they wake up/get to the set. I don’t know about the rest of you, I look kinda pasty/pale when I’ve just woken up….not with rosy cheeks and bright eyes.

    I’m not a fan of her, but I pity her….this whole “let’s find younger and younger starlets, than slice them up for how they look” trend in Hollywood is remarkable.

  4. twin peaks

    Good God. I leave for a little while, come back, and this Samantha poster is having a frickin’ epileptic attack. Someone call her before she has an aneurysm.

    Oh, and do us all a favour and let us know if she really is a big ho.

  5. Bite Me!

    @109 Wedgeone, but was it a “Good Dirty Time”?

  6. your name here

    I don’t care that she’s pasty. I care that in the second pic, that’s probably the last thing you see before she plucks your eyeballs out with her fingernails and then pops them into her mouth. But maybe that’s just a “phase” kids go through.

  7. adeliza

    Thank you very much for clearing this up.
    I wish her much success in the HO field, and I hope she gets a trillion calls.

    I couldn’t give a shit, but didn’t have anything else to say.
    It’s getting late in the day here.

  8. Mike


  9. I haven’t posted anything since #80, my shitbag troll did.

  10. Bemused

    I vote for a high-res close up of Virginia Madsen.

  11. Shallow Val

    #113 – maybe she’s a big mo.

  12. Slappy san

    Besides needed a little sun and food….she looks normal to me.

  13. Christine

    loads of money and she dresses like this and doesnt go tanning??….poor kiddo…wonderful actress, but cmon…get some meat on your bonestoo, 2 olsen twins are enough. Dont need a triplet.

  14. wedgeone

    #21 & 109 – wow. Now I feel special. The trolling has come back around to me again. Just cause you got called to the carpet a couple posts back. The real JRZ knows that I wouldn’t punk her out like that.

    #53 – FINALLY! Something funny that isn’t X-rated. thanks.

    #114 – wouldn’t know. Sounds to me like someone’s “good dirty time” would be about eating boogers.

  15. wedgeone

    Dakota needs to get away from “ghost white”. And why does she look in the first picture like Robert Patrick is her dad?

  16. Conky

    What’s up with all these tards acting like this is a chatroom?

    Anyway, that precocious little girl has blossomed into a fug.


  17. pervertedmoron

    she’s at that age, the ugly lanky teenager, hope she gets boobs soon

  18. Dakota lookz like zhe belongz to the Addamz Family….zhe haz
    the zame forehead that dad did on the original zhow.
    what a freakin dogface…zomeone needz to tell
    her to put hair down on her face & forehead

  19. stupidppl

    omg! what the fuck is wrong with you ppl?! that stupid person who said i want to pull her tube top down and suck thos tities.. you really should be in jail…

    then again.. you prolly are iin jail…

    and for the rest of you… its not easy being a 13 year old girl… i should know.. i am one!~

  20. allk


  21. theredsnapper

    creepy .. reminds me of that ring movie.

  22. das banane

    @76: LOL.

    @122…get the fuck out! wow.

  23. Danklin24

    I guess im the only one that thinks she’ll be cute when she’s 18. Lay off her guys, shes a kid. Shes a pretty damn good actress too.

  24. shes a child you ignorant fucks.

  25. George

    I still don’t see how this picture shows her in a cave. Where’s the cave, man. I feel like I’ve been had. THERE IS NO CAVE !!! THERE ARE NO PETROCLIFFS !!!! This is just the world’s stupidest posting ever. What is happening to this site! This kid is boring.

  26. threebabygirls

    And 50 years from now, when she looks like she’s, at most, in her early 40s, she will be very thankful that she took care of her skin.
    Melanoma is NOT something you want to get.

  27. JJ Fad

    What’s mean is what you named the jpeg!! Hahaha!!

  28. bellewhore

    Kudos to JJ Fad for pointing that out to me.
    And in the first picture she harbors an uncanny resemblance to the creepy guy from Lord of the Rings. His name escaped me until I saw the other comment saying the same thing.

  29. 1MILFhunter

    I wish the aliens would’ve killed her in War of the Worlds. Whinney brat.

  30. Anathema Dave

    Hahah! Look at all these comments about a 13-year-old … doing nothing … where Fish has nothing to say.

    P.S. God, I love Virginia Madsen.

  31. RJ

    Ya know what REALLY funny though, she’s worth more $$$ than all of us put together…

  32. Just Me

    is she seasonally confused?

  33. sdfkj

    poor kid
    that head is shaped like an I don’t know what … alien’s head?

    have you ever heard her be interviewed? she is socially retarded … all over the place, laughing at inappropriate times and maniacally.

    poor kid … she makes me nauseousa

  34. sdfkj

    poor kid
    that head is shaped like an I don’t know what … alien’s head?

    have you ever heard her be interviewed? she is socially retarded … all over the place, laughing at inappropriate times and maniacally.

    poor kid … she makes me nauseousa

  35. caljenna66

    #44 – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I think she’s a good young actress, but she is creepy to me.

  36. Louise

    FYI, some actors need to watch they’re skintone while filming movies so they’re skin color doesn’t change over the course of filming,

  37. Lon Chaney

    How is Dakota Fanning NOT on the So Freaking Hot list on the right side of this page??? I mean, that pasty, pale body is SUCH a turn on…and those pre-teen breasts…they make me want to cream my pants excessively…

  38. Bite me!

    #122 – Have you done anal yet? what do you think about the taste of semen? What’s your email address?

  39. Rodney


  40. Luna

    “Her feet are enormous. I could make a fortune just from her shoes insoles alone.” ha ha i was thinking that too

  41. TheRage

    there are far too many comments on here for me to scan them all to be sure that what i am about to say hasn’t been said 143 times already, so on that note… her teeth are really yellow for being so young! and she needs a damn tan. and her head is sort of shaped like an upside down egg, or maybe an alien head. she looks a lot like Gollum, come to think of it. and i hate to say it, but she has always creeped me out.

  42. snapesworst

    She’ll be fine eventually, really, i’m sure she wont be the best looking actress out there, but she won’t be the worst either.

  43. DROPPIN' LOADS!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This post isn’t any stupider than most of the post here. You cannot deny the fact that regardless of age, THIS IS ONE FUGLY LOOKIN’ HUMAN BEING!

    And I mean that in a non sexual way.

  44. Jolly Jumjuck

    That second shot reminds me of Chucky.

  45. AmeriCanadian

    Pale is the new tan. (saw that on a tee shirt)

    She’s kinda weird looking, but how many people here were NOT weird looking at 13??? I had legs up to my neck at that age, myself. I looked like a fawn. (without the spots!!!)

    You freaks posting about having sex with a 13 year old should go castrate yourselves right now!!!

  46. hyped1


  47. Ju

    just when you thought Snow WHITE was the ‘fairest’ of them all ..

  48. say it isn't so

    I hope she only looks this way for a part

  49. Shanda

    ‘The awkward stage’ looks about right, almost like she just finished a growth spurt. And maybe she’s got that burn-blister-peel type complexion, so tanning isn’t exactly the best option for the kid. If I didn’t feel so lazy, I’d look her up and see if she’s got anything new coming out.

    But yeah. Lazy. :)

  50. robyn

    i have to admit it is a pretty disturbing picture..but that’s probably due to the fact that it wasn’t taken on her most flattering moment. a bit of sun would do her good, and will make her appear to be more human.

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