Dakota Johnson Wants To Quit ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ Too, Now

October 16th, 2013 // 33 Comments
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Now that Charlie Hunnam‘s bailed, current Anastasia Steele Dakota Johnson, who’s kind of got a young Gillian Anderson thing going on – *holds hand back from writing ‘I Want To Believe’ on penis* – is also thinking of jumping ship on Fifty Shades of Grey. Or “pulling tamp,” as I’m now going to call it every time somebody quits this thing which is apparently going to be every fucking day. E! News reports:

Dakota is having a very hard time dealing with all the press,” the source said. “When she first got the role, it was way too much for her.”
The source said that Johnson went from being a virtual unknown to someone “everyone wants a piece of.”
“It’s been tough,” the source said.

Of course, a simple solution is to have Sam Taylor-Wood play Anastasia to Aaron Taylor-Johnson‘s Christian Grey which would not only ensure an organic sexual chemistry between the two, but also allow them to spice things up with the dynamic of their own unorthodox relationship:

“Anastasia, collate these copies then meet me in my office so I can fist you over the fax machine.”
“Not until you drink your milk.”
“Aw, man….”

Photos: Getty


  1. Cock Dr

    Seems like no one wants to be involved with this pube pulling mess of a movie project. I don’t understand why that is….certainly a book so beloved must be of the highest caliber quality writing, like modern day Shakespeare.

  2. Stick Kstew and Rpat in there and call it a goddamn day.

  3. Starring in badly written softcore porn is not a career builder if you want to climb the ladder in Hollywood.

    Because lets be honest…In any other era 50 Shades of Grey would be relegated to the self-publishing trash bin and any production that was made of it would maybe…and stress maybe…make the old Skinemax late night slot.

  4. please

    Right, the press was so much for her she made sure she was photographed outside in her panties the next week? BS. I bet whomever they want as CG is asking for a re-cast. I would.

  5. Frank Burns

    I’d like to see Shaquille O’Neal and Smurfette get the main roles.

  6. A hollywood no one with a movie role (good or bad) with a lot of buzz whining about getting noticed. Yeah, you got your priorities straight being ungrateful.

  7. I wonder what the deal is with this movie’s troubles? Could it be that THE ENTIRE INTERNET IS ALREADY FULL OF EVERY KIND OF PORN IMAGINABLE FOR FREE?

  8. anonymous

    It’s actually a smart move. You get all this exposure and a new better role because of it and save showing tits when your career starts to go downhill.

  9. schmidtler

    She looks more like a young Helen Hunt than Gillian Anderson. I don’t mean that as a compliment, either.

    • EricLR

      As soon as Leelee Sobieski leaves the shelter and logs onto the internet at the public library, she’s going to be PISSED at you, mister!

    • Nah, she totally looks like her dad, with her mom’s younger body. and I do mean that as a compliment.

  10. MD2020

    Behold the ravages of age!

  11. Chris

    I have a thought….

    Maybe some books that get really big should simply stay books that got really big? Does everything need to be made into a movie?

    • Considering the horseshit Hollywood produces on it’s own like everything Adam Sandler has ever done, they have to rely on horseshit novels, horseshit comic books, and recycled cops gone rogue horseshit story lines.

  12. Shouldn’t they cast the actual kind of people that should be in this movie, like some middle-aged, chubby divorcee with bad plastic surgery and some middle-aged almost bald guy with a beer belly and liver spots?

  13. She’s attractive enough that I’d like to see her get naked, but I have no idea if that sort of thing is actually in the book or the movie anyway.

  14. EricLR

    Poor girl just wanted to be famous, without any of the downsides of being famous.

  15. cc

    Boy the stench of suck emanating from this movie, before it’s even started, is amazing.

  16. Hollywood

    HA!! I had to look up Sam Taylor-Wood, not only is she too old (and WAY too ugly), she looks like Aaron’s mother. Only a Brit would suggest someone who looks like that, and I’ve never even read 50 Shades.

    • Hollywood, follow my instructions please:

      1- The soft, meaty thing in your mouth – that’s your tongue.
      2- The inner part of either side of your face, just past your teeth – that’s your cheeck.
      3- Push 1 firmly into 2.
      4- Now read the entry again.

      You’re welcome.

  17. Cast Princess Donna and James Deen. They’ll bring the gravitas this story requires.

  18. Dakota Johnson
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    That face has way too much Sonny Crockett in it, and not enough Cherry 2000.

  19. Dakota Johnson
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit! Does this mean we don’t get to see her lounging around in her panties anymore?

  20. Chris

    I’m puzzled – she auditions and accepts a role in a big money movie adaptation of a massively best-selling book, about which where there’s been almost non-stop speculation on casting, and she’s surprised that it garnered a lot of media attention and wants out? I guess I don’t understand actors – if you don’t want attention, then stick to indie movies or off Broadway shows. Otherwise, stop complaining about it! Of course, it could also be a more polite way of saying she thinks the movie will be a massive turd and wants no part of it.

  21. I’m loving the demise of this steaming hot turd of fan fic much too much.

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