Whoa, Dakota Johnson, We Only Met Two Days Ago, Put Your Pants Back On (I’m Kidding, Don’t)

Before Monday night, I had never heard of Dakota Johnson before. But now I know she’s the actress who’ll be getting her pubes pulled by Jax Teller in the Fifty Shades of Grey movie which makes this post topical and not at all a voyeuristic journey into the heart of celebrity noonerholes. I don’t know where you get these ideas from.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News