Crystal Rock Audigier is Paris Hilton in waiting

November 23rd, 2008 // 112 Comments

Saturday night, fashion designer Christian Audigier threw his daughter Crystal Rock a 16th birthday party in Hollywood that made every single episode of My Super Sweet 16 look like it was filmed at goddamn Chuck E. Cheese. Take a look at what he sprung for:

1. Two cars delivered by Paris and Nicky Hilton. Who doesn’t love a grim look at the future?
2. T.I. Because sweet 16′s are totally gangsta, dawg.
3. The Pussycat Dolls. What’s a birthday party without strippers? Mazal tov!
4. Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend Justin Gaston. Minus the Miley, add extra gay.
5. Khloe Kardashian. So everyone felt more beautiful by comparison. Good thinking.

Jesus, with a shindig like this I’m surprised there wasn’t a secret room full of blood diamonds and baby panda skins. Her parents must hate her.

Photos: Splash News, WENN
superficial

  1. ishi-san

    @ 49: she might seem a bit chubby in the face because she is 16!!! and didn’t take the amount of coke that Paris took in her life (yet).
    and by the way……why should ‘a bit chubby’ directly be connected to ‘not hot’???? Now that’s what I call brainwashed!!!

  2. Joe Blow

    #4 I’m and photographer and fuck yeah. It’s the only reason you become a photographer.

  3. Joe Blow

    #4 I’m and photographer and fuck yeah. It’s the only reason you become a photographer.

  4. Parker

    If she was a couple years older I’d fuck her ass for sure. Look at those thick little thighs and tell me two years from now that her ass won’t have the tightest little butthole in town.

  5. Rich

    Push up bra or real tits? Great legs. She has a hot body & sexy face. How soon before we discover that she likes to go comando like Paris? They would look great in a 69 together.

  6. bob

    Not this shit again.

  7. bob

    Not this shit again.

  8. Kia

    Crystal Rock? Wow, that’s a horrible name. Poor little rich girl.

  9. jez

    Today’s society is kinda fucked up. I don’t know if she’s a spoiled brat or anything, but c’mon, I’m just gonna assume she is.

  10. kelley

    The Superficial needs to learn to spell ! NOT Mazal Tov … It’s Mazel Tov !!

  11. Ahhhh… the passing of the whore baton… a time honored tradition to be sure, replete with extreme douchiness and just a bit of that fishy odoriferousness.

  12. fonzeyfu

    Perhaps a more thoughtful gift would have been a lifetime supply of Valtrex.

  13. kk

    Paris isn’t commando – she has a thong on. Look at pix #14. Strippers and skank for your 16th. Wow. Glad to know her parents really care about her. At least Miley had Disney throw her party! Clean wholesome fun, that’s what I say. But then again, I guess her boyfriend likes em’ nasty. Ewe.

  14. Duke Steele

    Oh, great. Another spoiled douchebag with a rich daddy. Can’t get enough of them.

  15. Em

    Sweet that is Lauren in the background with Paris, meaning she is the winner of my new BFF and the show has not yet finished airing.

  16. Slaappy

    When I was 16 I got a Happy B-Day wish and a cigarette burn. Thanks Dad!

  17. Let’s begin the countdown to when she makes the news and embarrasses her entire family. Ready….Go!

  18. Fermented Ghost

    Not to mention he got her every little girl’s dream — free sweat stains.

  19. p0nk

    pray for Binky

  20. nikki

    is that vagina behind paris hilton in the third to last picture? or panties?

  21. nikki

    is that vagina behind paris hilton in the third to last picture? or panties?

  22. Ew Pic #14

    I guess other herpes laden vaginas are now flocking to their queen Paris. Look at the one flinging itself at Paris in pic#14. My eyes…

  23. Deacon Jones

    Holy SHIT!! Great job on these FISH!

    She looks like a dirty girl already. I bet she’s already fucked like 8 dudes and at least one lezbo experience under her belt

  24. gotmilk?

    never heard of em.

  25. ishi-san

    I am so happy my parents never threw me a ‘look-how-much-money-we-have’ – theme party! Real party’s where people get drunk and dance their ass off BECAUSE they have FUN are so much better!!!!!!!

  26. bob sacamano

    PARIS LOOKS PREGGORS IN PIC 6!!!!!

  27. Rob Black

    Crystal Rock is hot. Her tits are real. Her face is cute. She has great legs and thighs. Whoever gets to fuck her is in for a real treat. Best fuck I ever had was a 16 year old girl wearing spiked heels. We were in the back of her dad’s car. Tenth grade. Awesome. This little bitch just got me really horny.

  28. #77 – You did report your address to the authorities when you moved in, right?

  29. Bri

    I love how jealous you all are. Don’t hate on her because you have to stand in line for bread and soup. Assholes. Some people are born lucky, while others (like you) are born ugly.

  30. Grandpa

    SHE NEEDS TO BE SODOMIZED AND THEN SLAPPED ON THE ASS AND SENT TO BACK TO SCHOOL!! FILL THAT BUTT WITH MY MAN-JUICE.

  31. jlylec

    can’t wait till she shows up getting DP’d in some leaked sex tape. hot little thing.

  32. Rob black

    WARNING – WARNING

    I AM A PAEDOPHILE

    WARNING – WARNING

  33. Ed

    This are the people we need to tax the shit out of them. What a waste of money!!

  34. Lily

    leave her the fuck alone, she looks amazing. it’s unreal how much jelousy you all have ?
    x

  35. Lady in Red

    Who the hell keeps talking about the girl having cellulite? She doesn’t have cellulite…she’s sitting down you idiots. Unless your body is completely hard with nothing but muscle that is going to happen when you sit down. Not even Jessica Biel (hardest female body in Hollywood) wouldn’t have the sitting down. I’m just laughing because those of you saying that are the ugly ones who spend your nights alone eating TV dinners…keep complaining about the level you will never achieve!

  36. Mayday

    you know i was at this party, and the girl was on stage when ti was performing. she looked miserable.

  37. Mayday

    you know i was at this party, and the girl was on stage when ti was performing. she looked miserable.

  38. TheTenia

    I’ve insulted the greedy dumb shallow n iggers that fish deems to post on here, so in the interest of fairness let me say:I hate this person. If I were Emperor the Nigs would be back in the fields, to teach them some humility, but this fool would be strapped to a crucifix alongside I-95. Can’t we turn on the shallow and useless in this world at long last? The Sports star, the Pampered Rich Girl. Why?

  39. Jennifer

    Does anyone else think it’s hilarious that he named his daughter after one of the street names for Meth?

  40. mike

    #85: right on!

    to the rest of the haters riffing on pic #2: this girl just turned 16. which means, a few days ago, she was FIFTEEN. so even if she does have a little fat on her, it’s baby fat, for ghod’s sake. she’s cute as hell. she’ll grow out of it if she wants (or NOT, which is just fine, too…)

    fuck alla yallz…

  41. Ghita

    #89: That’s because fucking her 16 year old pussy is the equivalent of the high you get doing speed.

  42. Ghita

    Her named her after the street name for meth because fucking her would be the equivalent of the high you would get doing it.

  43. Ron

    Crystal is ridiculously hot. I bet every teenage boy who comes within fifty feet of her goes home and jerks off to the thought of her.

  44. Thom Powers

    When 16 year girls stop parading around like pornstars is when I’ll stop thinking about them that way. This girl is SEXY. What else am I supposed to do when looking at these pictures of her. She’s got on a minidress and five inch fuck me heels, her hands on her hips, and she’s looking back at the camera like she’s daring it to whip out its cock. Any of you think this teen queen hasn’t had a dick in her mouth that wasn’t attached to a guy over the age of 18 is fucking silly.

  45. Duke Steele

    Ghita: Her sixteen year old pussy is the equivalent of 20 years for rape. No thanks.

  46. lol

    Thom Powers,
    It’s a free country. The girl can dress as she pleases but if you lay your cock on her, you’re in jail.

    The reason you find her attractive is because you and several other sheep we call men that cannot for the life of them see right through the facade and lies spun by the spiders that are attempting to cocoon your logic with the silk of their deceit.

    It seems nice to blame a child for your uncontrollable hard ons and I’d bet your one of those who despise the brainless tarts of today’s world who swoon over that average looking man in Robert Pattison but your actions/thoughts are the same as them, only you are an adult.

  47. Jennifer

    So is Paris passing along the skank torch to her?

  48. Paul Williams

    #96: Whatever, dude. She’s fucking hot. And the fact that you’re hanging around this thread and looking at the pictures means your headspace isn’t as clean and sterile as you make it out to be. You see, we can THINK whatever we want. Of course if it was up to people like you, we would all live in a phildickian world where people can be prosecuted for the contents of their psyche, which is ten times more creepy than any dude looking at pictures of a smoking hot 16 year old girl all dolled up and thinking naughty thoughts. You’re the perverse one, Big Brother. And btw: I think Bobby Pattinson is hot, yo, because I like to suck cock too, so I get his appeal, your fucking buffoon. Now commence with your non-sequitorial mode of thought, Rove Jr.

  49. Allison

    @96: “Lay your cock on her.” Yeah, like any loser who comes to this site is going to get within spitting distance of this cooz. Your the one who sounds delusional. I mean, what the fuck are you talking about? So no one is allowed to look at these pictures? Who made you the Superficial Police? Why don’t you go bacjk to praying to Jesus that Prop 8 was passed, dork.

  50. meg

    the kardashian girl looks kinds of like a cross between juliette lewis and rachael ray…

Leave A Comment