Saturday night, fashion designer Christian Audigier threw his daughter Crystal Rock a 16th birthday party in Hollywood that made every single episode of My Super Sweet 16 look like it was filmed at goddamn Chuck E. Cheese. Take a look at what he sprung for:
1. Two cars delivered by Paris and Nicky Hilton. Who doesn’t love a grim look at the future?
2. T.I. Because sweet 16′s are totally gangsta, dawg.
3. The Pussycat Dolls. What’s a birthday party without strippers? Mazal tov!
4. Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend Justin Gaston. Minus the Miley, add extra gay.
5. Khloe Kardashian. So everyone felt more beautiful by comparison. Good thinking.
Jesus, with a shindig like this I’m surprised there wasn’t a secret room full of blood diamonds and baby panda skins. Her parents must hate her.