Cruise continues his drive towards Crazytown

December 14th, 2005 // 24 Comments

mmmm, alien babiesTom Cruise will appear at at a fundraiser tonight for a controversial Scientology program that claims to heal firefighters and rescue workers who breathed toxic smoke on 9/11.

Doctors, however, say Cruise’s “purification rundown” is nothing but worthless quackery consisting of sauna sweating, ingestion of cooking oil and large doses of niacin. The program could actually be harmful, because Cruise and company advise everyone to stop taking their prescription medications or using inhalers, just as he criticized Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants to relieve her postpartum depression.

When the words ‘Tom Cruise’, ‘sauna sweating’ and ‘cooking oil’ come together in a story, I also fully expect to see some combination of the words ‘publicist rigorously denies’ and ‘drunken ass-pirates’. My mistake (this time). But it now seems only a matter of time before Tom Cruise’s quasi-medicine indirectly kills someone. Hopefully that someone will be Tom Cruise.

superficial

  1. Mary45

    It’s too early to read this kind of crap. He’s just a raging a-hole… That pretty much sums it up.

  2. I have never wanted so much for a person to get AIDS. I hope he even gets that super-AIDS I’ve heard about. Let’s see how quickly he realizes smearing himself with cooking oil doesn’t do shit, and he starts consuming that cocktail of drugs to keep himself alive for another month.

    Or maybe he’d just convert to Kabbalah.

  3. JerseyGirl

    I used to LOVE Tom Cruise, but these days, he makes Mariah Carey look sane!

    Free Katie!

  4. America needs a crazy ass mofo in Hollywood. Our crazy ass mofo is Tom Cruise. I’m just waiting for him to put on the tinfoil helmet and start accusing everyone of stealing his thoughts.

  5. sammygirl

    For goodness sake, what does Tom have against inhalers to treat smoke inhalation or asthma? Show me where it says in the scientology bible/manual/cookbook that “thou shalt not use inhalers.” What a complete tool.

  6. MrPloppy

    If there are any Scientologists reading this I need help. I

  7. JerseyGirl

    Wow, a quote from TheSuperficial.com:
    http://www.tomcruiseisnuts.com/8_others_on_tom.php

  8. MortyFishbein

    Tom Cruise has always been insane. I think he’s hit a new level Thetanhood that pretty much reliquinshes him from the burdens of ‘tact’ and ‘prudence.’ His sister, who I suspect was making him look more sane than he really was, got fired for trying to pour water on this fuckin’ flamer, er, fire.

  9. He better not try coming to New Orleans with that craziness.

  10. He has seriously lobotomized Katie. Check out this quote!

    http://kisskissandallthat.blogspot.com/

  11. sadietolstoy

    Maybe when People magazine does its annual retrospective of the 25 Most Intriguing People, they could make a special category for Tom Cruise: Biggest Fruitcake of 2005.

  12. derekd

    Katie Holmes is not that hot. First off she has bad posture. She’s like a hunchback. Second have you seen her feet? UGH! Bunion city! And to top it off she has herpes on her lips. She has a cute face but her body is shot out. So why are people so jealous that she is with this fruitcake? Can’t wait to see what the baby looks like. Can’t be as ugly as Klum and Seal’s baby.

  13. AD

    “The program could actually be harmful, because Cruise and company advise everyone to stop taking their prescription medications or using inhalers”

    Scary… :/

  14. What a waste of a perfectly good Katie.

    Tom thanks for all the donations and all but you’ve lost it. Inhale man.

  15. maria

    uncommonamerican said:
    “I have never wanted so much for a person to get AIDS. I hope he even gets that super-AIDS I’ve heard about.”

    indeed, uncommon. I have AIDS. Do you know how I feel when I read a comment like your?
    I wish you some “things” to happen to you, that you’ll learn. Isn’t it nice?

    SHAME on you: to be an american and to wish AIDS to people.
    You are an asshole, beyond redemption.

    As for the author: “Tom Cruise’s quasi-medicine indirectly kills someone. Hopefully that someone will be Tom Cruise.”

    Please, DIE. as quickly as possible, I want to survive you. Just die A.S.S.H.O.L.E. Don’t be scare.

    About Tom Cruise. He worships crap that he inflicted to himself which is sad, but at least he is trying to help with that same crap.
    He is honest. And never whised death or AIDS to anyone.

    Adios, morons. (we will never ever see each other again for sure…)

  16. Virginia

    I’m just waiting for his head to split open and aliens to come crawling out. What the hell happened to him? He is the new Michael Jackson

  17. i love tom cruise. i mean yes he is gay and yes he is as crazy as a toothless man eating hard candy but he is cute and that stands forsomething right. i think so anyway but why are we so mad at him he cant fight the crazy in his soul just like tara reid cant fight the herpes on her crotch so dont hate him just when u see him throw bottles of oxycyin and ten pds weights at him and see what happens. it may surprise u he may deflect hem back at u with his super crzy powers but at least u know u tried.

  18. ok ok tom cruise is crazy we know that so thereis nothing he can do that will surprise me. i’m just waiting for him to declare himself lord of the world. i mean he is so crazy at this point that he has rented a van called the mystery machine and got four friends and a dog and went a ghosthunting.

  19. HollyJ

    Hey, I’m originally from the South, and we do just about everything in oil… Although I’ve never had drunken ass-pirates before. Are those good fried?

  20. unknownassassin

    sure, like his other antics, tom cruise’s endorsement of this cleansing regimen seems a little off-center… but that’s only because overlord gorp of the planet zontar commands it; when the space fleet arrives, tom just wants everyone to be in tip-top condition for the inter-species breeding experiments (partially for personal reasons)…

  21. Rue

    Why does a guy that hot have to turn into a complete freak?

  22. HollyJ

    He’s only hot if you prefer gay midget beavers with crossed eyes. Oh, and he has small hands and feet…and we ALL know what THAT means…

    Thank god Katie never had to find out, with her turkey baster sperm reception.

    Hey, I wonder if a turkey baster feels better than Tom Cruise?

  23. Rowan

    Great goddess, the man’s a loon. And there ain’t nothing more dangerous than a loon with money.

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