Cristiano Ronaldo tries tanning the herp away

June 16th, 2009 // 34 Comments

- Victoria Beckham had her breast implants removed making this the last time I type her name again. [I'm Not Obsessed]

- Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have sex in their friends’ bathrooms during dinner parties. What is this weird feeling I’m experiencing toward Will Smith? It’s almost like.. respect? That can’t be right. [The Blemish]

- Adrian Grenier is dating Twilight’s Ashley Greene which brings her star status to its all-time high of 1/1,000,000,000th of Robert Pattinson’s. [PopSugar]

- Gwyneth Paltrow reaches new levels of insipidness by referring to Billy Joel as “William.” Excuse me while I drive a bus into my own face. [Celebslam]

- Sacha Baron Cohen poses naked for cover of GQ. Surprisingly absent: Eminem’s teabag-ready chin. [Just Jared]

- Russell Crowe on the set of Ridley Scott’s Untitled Robin Hood Project. I think people still care about Russell Crowe, but don’t quote me on that. Unless it’s for the DVD jacket then by all means. [Lainey Gossip]

Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo | The Hunkies
Cristiano Ronaldo
CRISTIANO RONALDO SPLASHES OUT ON £300,000 LAMBORGHINI
CRISTIANO Ronaldo has splashed out on a £300,000 Lamborghini. Former Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo celebrated his 27th birthday by forking out £300,000 on a Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4. It is not the first time the winger has been in the ...
Cristiano Ronaldo, Gary Neville, Morgan De Sanctis & the Top 10 footballing snitches
Ronaldo joined Sporting's other youth players who trained at the Academia Sporting, the club's football academy, in Alcochete. He became the only player ever to play for Sporting's under-16, under-17, under-18, B-team, and the first team, all within one ...

Comments (34)

  1. Rochelle | June 16, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    HTML oops…

    Reply
  2. cece | June 16, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    2nd!

    Reply
  3. Dyliep | June 16, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    If you’re too tired to drive a bus into your own face, you could always slip old “Wllliam” a fifth of something and dress up as a wall.

    Reply
  4. alisa | June 16, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    instead of posting that pale guy from twilight and thinking he makes girls wet…………………. ummmm ew…. post this guy instead…. now this guys hot

    Reply
  5. jumpin_j | June 16, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    So Victoria got her breasts back to normal size and is now even more irrelevant than she she was. I can think of lots of great career moves. This isn’t one of them. To quote Rocky Horror to the former Posh Spice, say goodbye to all this, and hello… to oblivion.

    Reply
  6. chi hair straightener | June 17, 2009 at 3:55 am

    Just wanted to say a big huge CONGRATS on the book! I look forward to reading it, and I love your blog and your column. Can’t wait for the new blog

    Reply
  7. Stuey | June 17, 2009 at 8:09 am

    Who the hell wears a rosary to the pool? Oh yeah…douchebags.

    Reply
  8. Stuey | June 17, 2009 at 8:11 am

    haha check the background guys. Looks like purple trunks is getting a hand full of camo trunks. Sauage fest!

    Reply
  9. Rhialto | June 17, 2009 at 9:52 am

    Great deltoids and abdonimals! The triceps look impressive too!

    Reply
  10. . | June 17, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Yeah, because this man who sleeps with anything that moves could ONLY have contracted a sexualy transmitted disease AFTER he slept with Paris Hilton. He is 3x the whore Paris is and probably carries the apocalypse around in his penis with little help from her.

    Reply
  11. Ananana | June 17, 2009 at 10:47 am

    I know nobody’s going to believe me, but whatever. I’ve actually met Gwyneth Paltrow a couple of times, and she is a very cool person and not one bit pretencious.

    Reply
  12. Johnny Cash Register | June 17, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Meh. Gwyneth’s just pulling a Dwight Schrute. He did that in season 2.

    Reply
  13. JasonX | June 17, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    I really hate to say this but Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the most perfect soccer players I’ve ever seen, its just a shame he is such a douche, this is why a lot of people just can’t wait to see him fall. David Beckham has never had the talent of Ronaldo but he comes across as a down to earth guy and in general people like him more due to this.

    Reply
  14. biatcho | June 17, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    Oh Ronnie, how the mighty have fallen in just a week’s time. Good luck in Madrid, spread the herp.

    Reply
  15. Ananana | June 17, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    yea, i would let CR fuck the living fuck out of me…. we’d both wear protection, of course. and by protection i mean cellophane.

    Reply
  16. jizzinmypants | June 17, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    he is too fucking hot!!!! i wanna see MORE

    Reply
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