Criss Angel’s $100 million Vegas show still blows

After die-hard Criss Angel fans walked out of a special preview of his Cirque Du Soleil show, you figured Mandouche the Magician would’ve made some changes for this past weekend’s grand opening. Nope. The LA Times reports:

If Criss Angel were blindfolded, straitjacketed, run over by a steamroller, locked in a steel box and dumped from a helicopter into the Pacific Ocean, he still might be easier to salvage from disaster than “Criss Angel: Believe,” the gloomy, gothic muddle of a show that officially lurched into being on Halloween night like some patched-together Frankenstein’s monster.

Apparently, the show is expected to run until 2028 (Jesus), but from the sounds of it, it’ll probably be pulled, I dunno, today:

None of this would matter as much if Angel had a compelling live-stage presence. But “Believe” exposes him as a natural-born showman, which isn’t the same as a natural-born entertainer. He lacks comic timing and ad-libbing ability, falling flat with some very lame erectile dysfunction jokes. His personality simply disappears for long stretches of the show.
Some of his biggest applause of the night came for executing the simplest of tricks, like producing a bird out of hand. That’s a decent evening’s work for a backyard bar mitzvah or quinceanera magician, but it doesn’t quite justify a $100 ticket.

Wait. Lame erectile dysfunction jokes aren’t a crowd pleaser? Sonofa… There goes my Cirque Du Soleil musical: Boner Rouge: A Tale of Romance, Intrigue and a Guy Making Balloon Animals Shaped like Star Wars Characters. It would’ve touched your heart. *sigh*

Thanks to SaraDevil who wants Criss Angel to reproduce so her Hot Topic stocks hit the roof.

Photos: WENN
Tags: Criss Angel