Criss Angel won’t apologize for Miss USA debacle, will keep wearing necklaces (Yes!)

The Superficial | May 20, 2008 - 11:43 am

About a month ago, Criss Angel decided to flip the fuck out when his girlfriend Miss Nevada didn’t win the Miss USA Beauty Pageant. Criss’ actions included pissing off The Donald and threatening respected reporter Norm Clarke of the Vegas Review-Journal. No one has asked his Royal Anus to comment about the incident – until now! Vegas Happens Here got a brief Q&A in with the illusionist:

Friess: Are you planning to apologize for the threat you made against Norm Clarke of the Review-Journal?
Angel: The problem is, some people got their lines crossed. And if some people got the whole story, they would see that what he wrote is actually not what really happened. So there’s nothing to apologize for.
Friess: What really happened?
Angel: I’d need a while to explain that to you and now is not the appropriate time.

But then, in a wicked display of cajones con queso, Vegas Happens Here calls out Criss Angel to settle this mess:

And yet in the face of such a PR nightmare, Mr. Angel — neither of his own volition nor encouraged firmly by the companies that have tethered $100 million+ to his mercurial persona in Vegas — bothered to issue a statement, do an interview, write a letter to the editor. Not only that, but he’s scolding “people” for not having the whole story when ample opportunities have been provided him to give it?
Hey, Criss. Here’s yet another chance. I’ve got all the time in the world. Whatcha waiting for?

Yeah, Criss, I’ve got all the time in the world, too. In fact, I’ve got too much time. So, I dunno, maybe you can come over and play some GTA or something. Just don’t steal my Star Wars figures to wear as a necklace because then I’d have to shoot a whale harpoon through your mouth. No, really, I keep one in the garage for just such an occasion. Thank you, Capt. Brian and your shady yard sales. Ha ha, next week I’m buying a sub!

Photo: Vegas Happens Here, Asshats R Us Photography