Criss Angel talks about Britney’s VMA performance

October 23rd, 2007 // 62 Comments
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Criss Angel at one point was romantically linked to Britney Spears. He was also supposed to have a hand in her comeback VMA performance, but, after some last minute changes, Criss’ magic was noticeably absent and what ensued has left a permanent scar on my retina. Finally, just one day before the premiere of his new show, Criss Angel opened up to Ok! Magazine about what went wrong:

“We were supposed to do a creation of stuff that we worked on and it took a lot of dedication and work to do the things that we wanted to do,” Criss, on the set of his new NBC series Phenomenon, recalls exclusively to OK! about Britney’s planned VMA performance. “Unfortunately for me, she didn’t really want to put forth that type of effort.”

“Basically I said, ‘Don’t worry about me. Do what you want to do. This is a big opportunity for you to do the VMAs, so if you don’t feel it, go with something else.’ And she chose to go with something else.”

If Criss Angel were a real man, he would’ve tackled Britney after the first half-drunk dance step. But he was probably too busy changing his wardrobe for the fifth time. It takes a lot of work to look like a douchebag who spent his life-savings at Hot Topic. Plus Criss also has to decide whether to wear his monogrammed baseball hat or show off his highlights. Which is understandable. You don’t want to look too retarded all at once. You need to spread the douche-iness out over the course of a day.

Photos: Getty Images
superficial

  1. Pedro McChang

    Funny as hell. Shaved chest = chest acne. Nice.

  2. The Magic Man

    Man Criss Angel could probably make your penis disappear if you piss him off.

    (WOOT #1)

  3. Pol Pot Pie

    Douche actually has a “Criss Angel Mindfreak” patch on his pants. How embarrassing (not to mention the 800 lbs. of fake bling

  4. Ll

    Top ten – making my way up

  5. grapo

    Wow. First she makes Kevin Federline look like father of the year, now she makes this dead-eyed male cumslut look like a true professional.

  6. i think the criss has better things to worry about than brittany…

  7. Mesmerised

    this guy is so repulsive… whatever it takes to get the spotlight – he’ll just do it… he’s just another jerk. Should make a really good match with Paris;)

  8. Feckless

    If you look up “Poser” in the dictionary, there is a picture of his face, baggage and all. The handcuffs look gay on him.

  9. Is anyone shocked by these comments? Did anyone not see this coming? What can anyone post about Britney that would be a surprise other than she has joined a convent and has taken a vow of celibacy

  10. Oh my holy hell…

  11. danny

    This guy is _such _ a dickwad. Real magicians hate him, he has no talent, and he’s a dickwad. (Yeah, I know I already said that, but it bears repeating.)

  12. Binky

    My sources are saying he was supposed to make Britney disappear at the VMA’s – for a good long long time.
    He’s still riddled with guilt.

  13. Hot Topic that’s funny.

    #3 you’re funny

    Criss Angel you’re funny.

    Everybody’s funny.

    I think I took too much prozac today.

  14. Oh, hey, nobody told me there was a post below this post. What’s it about? I don’t feel like scrolling.

  15. FRIST it is “Gwen Stefani keeps her body looking awesome”

  16. sla

    I thought he was hotter when his skankiness seemed to come naturally — hot in a kind of greasy, bad-boy, mumbling-idiot-who-does-cool-tricks-on-the-street kind of way. But this three-tone-highlighty, Posh haircutty, chest-stubbly look? Um, no way. And that look in his eyes is like he’s trying to be hot but comes off like a deranged idiot. And if he’s gonna go all glamazon, he should do something about those nasty circles under his eyes.

  17. Feckless

    OK now there’s a big fat argument at Geekologie about whether Walmart is righteous and upstanding or not – including the employees. I’m betting on Team Lame to place.

  18. ATX

    Criss needs to lay off the drugs…he is a ZOMBIE looking thing. YIKES!!! Make the ugly disappear, PLEASE!!!

  19. Clem

    Could this twat want to be in Motley Crue any more?

  20. This dude has never stopped riding Britney Spears.
    Maybe sexually, but he is not gonna stop using her to get all the publicity he can possibility get for a very long time.

  21. LL

    The second Superficial paragraph is greatness. “It takes a lot of work to look like a douchebag who spent his life-savings at Hot Topic.” – It does look like a Hot Topic store threw up on him.

    The fact that NBC is giving this idiot one moment of network time almost makes me want to stop watching any other NBC show. If only the FBI could come up with something on him, maybe we’d be spared that steaming pile. I’ve seen the retarded promo for the show numerous times now and I gotta say, the only people more retarded than the ones who appear in it are anyone who watches it. I’d rather watch Richard Simmons get all his body hair waxed off.

  22. Vince Lombardi

    Pic #3. Criss Angel demonstrates to his one fan the number of times he has bathed this year.

  23. Auntie Kryst

    I wonder if in high school “rock star” magicians got beat up as much as the other kids into magic were?

  24. topanga

    “It takes a lot of work to look like a douchebag who spent his life-savings at Hot Topic.”

    classic.

  25. Frack

    He gets skankier by the minute.

  26. Frick

    He soo grosses me out, the boy is just not right. And he does not look well either; looks kinda sickly. I always assumed he was gay; yet I recently heard he was married but getting a divorce? Surprise, surprise. Or maybe just a beard? That shaved chest is pretty darn funny though. Serious doucheness. Though I have to give the man (?) credit where credit is due…he ratted Britney out and admitted that the reason they didn’t do the fancy schmancy “magical Britney” show was because her fat ass was too lazy to rehearse. See Britney fans? She doesn’t give a shit about you or what you want. Wake the eff up and smell the cheetos!

  27. Is it me . . .

    Or do he and Victoria Beckham go to the same hairstylist?

  28. MindRiot

    Wannabee. What an absolute TOOL.

  29. Ript1&0

    HAHAHAHA!!!! I was thinking that shit when I saw the pic, before I read the paragraph. Awesome.

    Dude, if you’ve got to wear diamond covered handcuffs as a necklace to show everyone, you sure as hell are never getting tied to my bed.

  30. I really like Criss Angel…so what if he doesn’t like Britney anymore. I still am a big fan of his always will be!

  31. P.S. Those are horrible pics of him!!!

  32. alf oldland

    gross, thesuperficial, just gross.

    let’s do better. soon.

  33. Samhain

    Those are stick-on eyes to replace the real ones that blew off of his head from a mindfreaking, multilayered drug cocktail that wasn’t quite strong enough to kill him – but almost. If Jim Henson wasn’t already dead, I’d tell him, “Nice work.”

  34. wreckedtrain32

    Gross. Looks like a junkie. His show creeps me out, and not in the cool eerie way. In the skeezy, i might molest you way

  35. moobs

    “she didn’t really want to put forth that type of effort.”

    Because she’s not a real “artist” and shes never “worked” for anything she’s gotten handed to her. Just like her idiot fans who don’t know shit about anything either.

  36. ha8ter

    He’s the male version of Britney- badly dressed, skanked out, and yet somehow thinks he’s hot.
    All he needs is a Starbucks in his hand and an assistant who moonlights as a boxer and he’s all set.

  37. ha8ter

    He’s kinda like the pretty/ugly girl on Seinfeld. Sometimes Jerry would pick her up for a date and she’d be pretty, and other times when he met her on the street she was totally skanky.
    Today is an ugly day for Criss. (Stupidly spelled name)

  38. big teeth

    Douchebag refugee from 1992 looking dipshit.. the very definition of no-talent assclown..

  39. Caty

    hate him. SUCH a poser. the kind of guy who steps on people and uses people.

  40. BRB

    The only people posing are the ones writing crap about Criss Angel. Bunch of haters.Get a life , just because your not in his shoes (don’t say you wouldnt want the money he is making)Other magicians hate because they are not in his position,who’s better now. Losers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. Harold

    Lance Burton is better.

  42. You people are awful! Don’t you have anything better to do then to bash on others success? This is the first time I have been on here I got the link from criss’ web site. I enjoy him totally he does things that others don’t dare your just jealous!! And for the pictures we all have bad days and if you’ve been up partyin don’t you look like shit at times? Lay off the comments if you can’t stand him keep it to yourself, you would want to kick the ass of a school mate that wrote shit like this about you, and how would you know what is true with him are you best friends?! Just remember all your true fans criss……………..

  43. paulking

    I just got this url from one of my friends on http://www.richmingle.com. No comment yet.

  44. roughdaddy

    things worked out fine cris! you tap that ass without committing to some crazy chick…

  45. gerard Vandenberg

    This “girl” was simply borne as FAGGOT!! Ask tommy “louse” lee as ASS-fucker!!

  46. jack moonshine

    What if Steven Tyler was really, REALLY gay.

  47. The Amazing Randy

    Oh this is going to get good. #41 & #43 angry Criss Angel fans LOL. This could be better than the Britney stupid ass fan rampage.

  48. jrzmommy

    I hope Uri Geller makes him disappear tonight. Fucking tool.

  49. toolboy

    ahhh, ahhh, AHHHHHHH DOUCHE!
    Bless me.

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