Criss Angel magically sucks ass in Vegas

Criss Angel gave fans a special preview of his $100 million Cirque Du Soleil show “Believe” over the weekend, and what do you know? It TANKED. Audience members reportedly walked out of the theater and demanded their money back after witnessing an epic fail covered in douche sauce, according to the Las Vegas Review Journal:

“Everyone in the bathroom was chanting ‘bull—-‘” from the urinals, Damon Ranger of Chicago told me Saturday. “It was absolutely awful. You can ‘Believe’ how bad it is — because it’s terrible!”
People streamed out of the theater on Saturday screaming about how poor it was. A group of six women was led by a woman yelling furiously, demanding their money back.
“Dude, it’s a train wreck,” Ranger said. On a scale of 1 to 10, he declared “Believe” a zero.
Two other Angel fans, Steve Moffett and Jordan Wilson, flew in from London for Friday’s debut.
“We were hysterical about coming. We came. It was a waste of time,” Wilson said. “The magic’s not even magic.”
Moffett and Wilson walked out before the ending, because Angel started singing the finale, a cover of his “Mindfreak” TV theme song.
“He broke into song. I said, ‘He’s singing. Now we’re leaving,'” Wilson said.

Jesus Christ, he sings?! Wow. I guarantee you if I were in that audience, I would’ve rushed the stage and repeatedly punched Criss Angel in the uvula. Then I’d disappear! SHAZAM where’s the fire exit?

Thanks to Steve who’s holding the Jack of Clubs.

Tags: Criss Angel