Criss Angel is a “press whore” who is just using Britney Spears. The two apparently hooked up the night they met and he’s been milking the attention ever since. Friends of the illusionist provided Page Six with these details:
“He doesn’t even really talk to her when they go out. This weekend at [club] LAX, they weren’t seated at the same table, but when the paparazzi were around he jumped in all the pictures. . . . The paparazzi all have his number.” Meanwhile, some of the stories leaked to the tabloids about how Angel was orchestrating a big VMA number for Spears using mirrors are false. “She is just doing a straight-up performance of her new single, ‘Gimme More.’”
So the secret to Criss Angel’s magic is to latch on to celebrity train wrecks and bask in the free publicity. Got it. What camera-grabbing illusion will he pull off next? Grief counselor for Owen Wilson? AA sponsor for Lindsay Lohan? Or perhaps he might – no. Jesus, no. He wouldn’t, would he? Dammit, his show is on A&E. He totally would. What if, for sheer publicity and in disregard of public safety, Criss Angel impregnated Paris Hilton? Somebody get me a crucifix. And whiskey. Lots of it. I’ll be under my bed for the rest of the day.
tommy salamii | September 6, 2007 at 10:09 am
first!!! he is a total fucktard
tommy salami | September 6, 2007 at 10:14 am
i hope he dies soon……… he looks like he is h.i.v. +
Jimbo | September 6, 2007 at 10:15 am
Can there be two more boring people than Criss and Britney?
FRIST!!! | September 6, 2007 at 10:17 am
What, you don’t like Criss Angel MindFucker?
kathy | September 6, 2007 at 10:17 am
isn’t there something more interesting going on?
FRIST!!! | September 6, 2007 at 10:18 am
Yeah, I’m getting ready for work. That’s FANTASTICAL!!!!
tommy salami | September 6, 2007 at 10:19 am
have you heard they have another tape from senator larry craig…..its his cellphone call to his wife before arriving at the airport
mrs craig” honey do you want me to have dinner waitng for you tonight after your flight?”
senator craig” no thats o.k. honey .. i plan on gobbling down on a hotdog when i get to the airport”………………….
Texas Tranny | September 6, 2007 at 10:19 am
What are you wearing FRIST?
mywellrehearsedmistake | September 6, 2007 at 10:26 am
What? You mean Criss and Britney’s relationship isn’t based on mutual love and respect? Wow. I’m shocked to the core.
And I would like to christen them ‘Chrisney’
JIMBO SUCKS DONKEY | September 6, 2007 at 10:29 am
JIMBO DID A DONKEY LAST NIGHT
Jimbo | September 6, 2007 at 10:34 am
@10 You so funny troll. Your brother done fucking you early this morning, or couldn’t he get it up?
cow | September 6, 2007 at 10:35 am
i heard he is posh spice ‘s transvestite sister
The Fierce & Loyal Bitch - JCha | September 6, 2007 at 10:39 am
poor criss… i love him dearly, but im afraid this tabloid is right… for once…
*** | September 6, 2007 at 10:41 am
he is not at all interesting…
Texas Tranny | September 6, 2007 at 10:42 am
Somebody has some nice tits.
jrzmommy | September 6, 2007 at 10:43 am
he’s such a homo.
Betcha that’s a Fentanyl lolipop.
Jimbo | September 6, 2007 at 10:43 am
Who TT?
FRIST!!! | September 6, 2007 at 10:47 am
That would be me, Jimbo, hahahaha re:15
Hey #10 Do you kiss your brother’s cock with that mouth?
JIMBO'S DONKEY | September 6, 2007 at 10:55 am
Hey #18
No time right now. Very busy with your mother.
Shallow Val | September 6, 2007 at 10:58 am
I’m so glad I don’t watch stupid awards shows. MAYYYYBE I’ll watch the Oscars to see who wins best animated feature, but music awards are just exercises in futility. Nothing new there, same talentless douchebag hacks playing the same, vanilla music
Texas Tranny | September 6, 2007 at 11:00 am
Yes FRIST has some nice tits.
#13 has some nice ones also.
somewhereinthemiddle | September 6, 2007 at 11:00 am
Wow he truly is a master illusionist I couldn’t see through the smoke and mirrors until this post pointed it out. I could have sworn monogrammed beer cozies were in their future.
skwirrel | September 6, 2007 at 11:00 am
This guy is such a freaking A$$HOLE!!!!!
Jimbo | September 6, 2007 at 11:02 am
@19 Well you enjoy boning my mother. She is dead. I am sure that is a big turn on for you
Jimbo | September 6, 2007 at 11:03 am
FRIST I already knew about yours
FRIST!!! | September 6, 2007 at 11:08 am
#24 That was morbidly funny, Jimbo.
New post yet???
charlesincharge | September 6, 2007 at 11:14 am
FRIST, put up some new pics of you on your myspace page, you adorable vixen. Please.
Joe Millionaire | September 6, 2007 at 11:17 am
Everyone uses Britney for something … what else is she good for
http://testosterone-zone.com
Retro Video Games and daily hot chicks
havoc | September 6, 2007 at 11:19 am
You know, this guy had potential.
But he got sucked into the machine and now believes his own hype.
Now he’s just another C-lister partying on the Sunset Strip/ Vegas Strip and not working…..
.
*** | September 6, 2007 at 11:22 am
#21 me too!
Texas Tranny | September 6, 2007 at 11:25 am
@30
Show me.
Carl | September 6, 2007 at 11:43 am
what channel is his stupid show on ? I’ve never seen it, Plus I don’t think he deserves the attention
D. Richards | September 6, 2007 at 11:55 am
Look at “Mindfreak”, with his lollypop, looking all “rockstar”. He’s a rockstar, boy. Fuck, I want this guy to drown or something. Please, Chris, fuck-up on your next underwater “escape”. Also, he’s turning forty this year.
lambman | September 6, 2007 at 11:57 am
I still haven’t ever seen anything of this guy except parodies and tabloid stories….
whatever | September 6, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Am I the only one horrified by fish’s suggestion? Since reading of the mere theoretical possibility of a Criss / Paris offspring, I’ve been cowering in the corner of my room crying. I realize right now it’s just a figment of the fish imagination, but it all makes sense. Paris looking for seed, Criss a press whore…is this not the end times? Would these two not produce the anti-christ?
We need fire. And holy water. And a mob with pitch forks. And soon!!!
MR PAPARAZZI | September 6, 2007 at 12:46 pm
shit story
funny i’ll give you that but you could make cat shit funny. the story is still shit
want a good story?? click on my name
MR PAPARAZZI | September 6, 2007 at 12:49 pm
shit story
funny i’ll give you that but you could make cat shit funny. the story is still shit
want a good story?? click on my name
Anon anon | September 6, 2007 at 1:21 pm
you have a typo in the headline, it should read “Criss Angel is a whore”
tommy salami | September 6, 2007 at 1:25 pm
i hate dudes that foil highlight their hair looks so damn chee-chee
tommy salami | September 6, 2007 at 1:25 pm
and by chee- chee- i mean QUEER!
MMMSimmons | September 6, 2007 at 2:24 pm
39 & 40–I do foil highlights…..okay, and well I am a fag……but it’s okay
BaldAsBritney | September 6, 2007 at 2:31 pm
This fucking guy really needs a commando 450
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fekUuhOdAuY
Frick! | September 6, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Thats BS, I’m not buying it. I totally think the two of them planned some type of magic show dance for the VMA’s…which I will NOT watch. I’m not giving that trainwreck any help w/ a comeback; I want her to go away for good. I hope the VMA’s are a bust for her and she ends up the laughing stock of hollywood. I’m such a meanie; hey, I’m having a crappy…month…
Lancome | September 6, 2007 at 3:58 pm
I’m with you on that one Frick..
Love the highlights Cris.I’m sorry, but I can’t stand the whole “i’m a chachi bastard but I’m also a funky rocker’ thing he has goin on. Very cheesey. And the trendy layered/choppy hair, and the constantly open shirt and silver bling! AaArgh!
Cupid | September 6, 2007 at 4:08 pm
This fag should hook up with that high school musical fag….Sac Fuckwad or whatever his fag name is. Two pretty boy fags. Mmmm….sweet love.
Wicked Wendy | September 6, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Birds of a feather flock together….fucking losers…
Riotboy | September 6, 2007 at 5:01 pm
David Blane > Criss Angel
wedgeone | September 6, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Or maybe the headine should be ‘Criss Angel is a penis whore’. Total fagola.
gerard Vandenberg | September 7, 2007 at 10:55 am
It’s quite simple though. The man is a fucking FAGGOT!!
random | September 9, 2007 at 5:30 am
umm…does it smell a little jealous in here