Criss Angel is a ‘press whore’

September 6th, 2007 // 64 Comments

Criss Angel is a “press whore” who is just using Britney Spears. The two apparently hooked up the night they met and he’s been milking the attention ever since. Friends of the illusionist provided Page Six with these details:

“He doesn’t even really talk to her when they go out. This weekend at [club] LAX, they weren’t seated at the same table, but when the paparazzi were around he jumped in all the pictures. . . . The paparazzi all have his number.” Meanwhile, some of the stories leaked to the tabloids about how Angel was orchestrating a big VMA number for Spears using mirrors are false. “She is just doing a straight-up performance of her new single, ‘Gimme More.’”

So the secret to Criss Angel’s magic is to latch on to celebrity train wrecks and bask in the free publicity. Got it. What camera-grabbing illusion will he pull off next? Grief counselor for Owen Wilson? AA sponsor for Lindsay Lohan? Or perhaps he might – no. Jesus, no. He wouldn’t, would he? Dammit, his show is on A&E. He totally would. What if, for sheer publicity and in disregard of public safety, Criss Angel impregnated Paris Hilton? Somebody get me a crucifix. And whiskey. Lots of it. I’ll be under my bed for the rest of the day.


  1. tommy salamii

    first!!! he is a total fucktard

  2. tommy salami

    i hope he dies soon……… he looks like he is h.i.v. +

  3. Can there be two more boring people than Criss and Britney?

  4. What, you don’t like Criss Angel MindFucker?

  5. kathy

    isn’t there something more interesting going on?

  6. Yeah, I’m getting ready for work. That’s FANTASTICAL!!!!

  7. tommy salami

    have you heard they have another tape from senator larry craig…..its his cellphone call to his wife before arriving at the airport

    mrs craig” honey do you want me to have dinner waitng for you tonight after your flight?”

    senator craig” no thats o.k. honey .. i plan on gobbling down on a hotdog when i get to the airport”………………….

  8. What are you wearing FRIST?

  9. mywellrehearsedmistake

    What? You mean Criss and Britney’s relationship isn’t based on mutual love and respect? Wow. I’m shocked to the core.

    And I would like to christen them ‘Chrisney’



  11. @10 You so funny troll. Your brother done fucking you early this morning, or couldn’t he get it up?

  12. cow

    i heard he is posh spice ‘s transvestite sister

  13. poor criss… i love him dearly, but im afraid this tabloid is right… for once…

  14. ***

    he is not at all interesting…

  15. Somebody has some nice tits.

  16. jrzmommy

    he’s such a homo.

    Betcha that’s a Fentanyl lolipop.

  17. That would be me, Jimbo, hahahaha re:15

    Hey #10 Do you kiss your brother’s cock with that mouth?


    Hey #18
    No time right now. Very busy with your mother.

  19. Shallow Val

    I’m so glad I don’t watch stupid awards shows. MAYYYYBE I’ll watch the Oscars to see who wins best animated feature, but music awards are just exercises in futility. Nothing new there, same talentless douchebag hacks playing the same, vanilla music

  20. Yes FRIST has some nice tits.
    #13 has some nice ones also.

  21. somewhereinthemiddle

    Wow he truly is a master illusionist I couldn’t see through the smoke and mirrors until this post pointed it out. I could have sworn monogrammed beer cozies were in their future.

  22. skwirrel

    This guy is such a freaking A$$HOLE!!!!!

  23. @19 Well you enjoy boning my mother. She is dead. I am sure that is a big turn on for you

  24. FRIST I already knew about yours

  25. #24 That was morbidly funny, Jimbo.

    New post yet???

  26. charlesincharge

    FRIST, put up some new pics of you on your myspace page, you adorable vixen. Please.

  27. Everyone uses Britney for something … what else is she good for
    Retro Video Games and daily hot chicks

  28. havoc

    You know, this guy had potential.

    But he got sucked into the machine and now believes his own hype.

    Now he’s just another C-lister partying on the Sunset Strip/ Vegas Strip and not working…..


  29. ***

    #21 me too!

  30. Carl

    what channel is his stupid show on ? I’ve never seen it, Plus I don’t think he deserves the attention

  31. D. Richards

    Look at “Mindfreak”, with his lollypop, looking all “rockstar”. He’s a rockstar, boy. Fuck, I want this guy to drown or something. Please, Chris, fuck-up on your next underwater “escape”. Also, he’s turning forty this year.

  32. lambman

    I still haven’t ever seen anything of this guy except parodies and tabloid stories….

  33. whatever

    Am I the only one horrified by fish’s suggestion? Since reading of the mere theoretical possibility of a Criss / Paris offspring, I’ve been cowering in the corner of my room crying. I realize right now it’s just a figment of the fish imagination, but it all makes sense. Paris looking for seed, Criss a press whore…is this not the end times? Would these two not produce the anti-christ?

    We need fire. And holy water. And a mob with pitch forks. And soon!!!

  34. shit story

    funny i’ll give you that but you could make cat shit funny. the story is still shit

    want a good story?? click on my name

  35. shit story

    funny i’ll give you that but you could make cat shit funny. the story is still shit

    want a good story?? click on my name

  36. Anon anon

    you have a typo in the headline, it should read “Criss Angel is a whore”

  37. tommy salami

    i hate dudes that foil highlight their hair looks so damn chee-chee

  38. tommy salami

    and by chee- chee- i mean QUEER!

  39. MMMSimmons

    39 & 40–I do foil highlights…..okay, and well I am a fag……but it’s okay

  40. BaldAsBritney

    This fucking guy really needs a commando 450

  41. Frick!

    Thats BS, I’m not buying it. I totally think the two of them planned some type of magic show dance for the VMA’s…which I will NOT watch. I’m not giving that trainwreck any help w/ a comeback; I want her to go away for good. I hope the VMA’s are a bust for her and she ends up the laughing stock of hollywood. I’m such a meanie; hey, I’m having a crappy…month…

  42. Lancome

    I’m with you on that one Frick..
    Love the highlights Cris.I’m sorry, but I can’t stand the whole “i’m a chachi bastard but I’m also a funky rocker’ thing he has goin on. Very cheesey. And the trendy layered/choppy hair, and the constantly open shirt and silver bling! AaArgh!

  43. Cupid

    This fag should hook up with that high school musical fag….Sac Fuckwad or whatever his fag name is. Two pretty boy fags. Mmmm….sweet love.

  44. Wicked Wendy

    Birds of a feather flock together….fucking losers…

  45. Riotboy

    David Blane > Criss Angel

  46. wedgeone

    Or maybe the headine should be ‘Criss Angel is a penis whore’. Total fagola.

  47. gerard Vandenberg

    It’s quite simple though. The man is a fucking FAGGOT!!

  48. random

    umm…does it smell a little jealous in here

Leave A Comment