Criss Angel goes ballistic at beauty pageant

April 15th, 2008 // 94 Comments

Criss Angel, seen here with his girlfriend Miss Nevada Veronica Grabowski (Don’t mind if I do.), threw a hissy fit when she didn’t win the Miss USA pageant over the weekend. He particularly took umbrage with Vegas Confidential columnist Norm Clarke who wrote the following:

Shortly after Grabowski was eliminated, Angel was seen flashing a middle finger during a NBC telecast when a roving cameraman attempted a celebrity-in-the-crowd shot at Planet Hollywood Resort’s main theater.
Angel was still fuming after the pageant when he threatened this columnist in an F-bomb-laced tirade that ended with Angel, after being restrained, saying, “Don’t ever write another word about me, or you’ll need an eyepatch over your other eye.”

Mr. T’s illegitimate vanilla-baby better watch out because he’s irked the pageant’s sponsor. A guy you might know as Donald Fucking Trump:

Donald Trump, who owns Miss Universe, the umbrella group for Miss USA, told me Friday that he was disturbed by Angel’s encounter with a judge and added, “We’re going to have to look at that.”

I wish Criss Angel would get in my grill and tell me to never write about him. That way I can ask him when Claire’s has their huge clearance days because Criss seems to make out like a bandit there. I mean, Jesus, look at all that arm candy. He’s got more charm bracelets then an eight-year-old girl who just smashed open her piggy bank. Damn, that metaphor works on so many levels – but mostly the one where Criss Angel has a vagina.

Photos: Getty Images
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  1. Quinn

    huge improvement!!!

  2. mary

    hes so gross

  3. Bigheadmike

    I thought he was with Pam Anderson…..
    And he looks terrible.

  4. veggi

    Well, Kim doesn’t look as fat here..
    But what’s with the gang signs Kim?? Your gypsy clan be gettin down yo..

  5. Sara

    Wtf is she doing with him?

  6. bigSTEAMYone

    He looks like a Rob Zombie wanna-be . Good look for you Criss……insert douche bag here . X

  7. Dorito Man

    What a fag. He’s loaded up like a woman with all that regalia of his.

  8. deacon jones

    This little Jew tough guy wouldnt last 2 minutes in jail before hysterically crying

  9. Mo

    That SO doesn’t look like him. WOW he went down the tubes. And if she wants to keep her place in line, she better put her MAN in line. Shit.

  10. His girlfriend is hot and apparently is either rented or had a lobotomy.

  11. Grunion

    What a tough guy. Send him to Iraq.

  12. Jumpin_J

    “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssss- FREEEEEEEEEEEK”!

  13. There is no way this is criss Angele. Did this person come out of the other side of the miniaturizer batch with Brandon Davis? Metamorphosis explained.

  14. whackjob

    Hands-down winner of King of all Douchebags. How screwed up do you have to be to have that as your whole identity thing?

    Having a hard time concentrating on any of the new postings what with the elfin fuck-monkey staring at me on both sides of the home page….

  15. Pixie

    Why did Criss Angel let Dustin Diamond give him a makeover? Is Taliban-chic all the rage this spring?

  16. echswhyzee

    Holy Ish!!!
    The Macho Man is back…

    “Be a man Hulk Come on don’t be scared
    Your runnin’ from Macho that’s what I heard
    Be a man Hogan Come on don’t be a chump
    I never thought Hulk would go out like a punk”

  17. Fumus

    Criss Angel should stick to what he does best, crappy magic tricks for those greasy fat kids that still play D&D. And with that I cast hells fury on your goblin raiders…wait what?!

  18. Criss Angel= Leader of Hell’s Angel’s San Francisco Chapter..

  19. ubee0173

    its his maaaaagic beard. he will amaze you with his slight-of-beard tricks…wooooo, be fearful of his badassedness. hes not throwing gang signs, hes casting a spell with that hand

  20. Conor S

    Criss Angel is just another emo.

  21. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    wardrobe by Massengill

  22. redsonja1313

    He and Adnoid should compete for a douche bag loser compettion and see how wins

  23. MMB

    This looks like an ad for hotchickswithdouchebags.com

  24. Groucho

    Nothing says “tough guy” like pre-ripped designer clothes.

  25. Lisa

    He looks awful! Yuck…the entire look doesn’t work for him.

  26. Joboo

    Hard to believe someone could wake up in the morning and consciously decide to dress like that. That’s just cringe-inducing. The stupid hand gesture is the icing. What a fuck-knuckle.

  27. luna

    his new image totally reeks of effort, anyone who rides a motor bike, be it a sports bike or iron horse, would be embarrassed and ashamed to see this guy

    he gets a major fail

  28. toolboy

    How does go to the bathroom with all that shit on??
    -Special thanks to the Wayans.

  29. combustion8

    I wish someone would pull an adan on him.

  30. havoc

    Wow…he’s a badass.

    A badass that does card tricks.

    huh.

    .

  31. azure

    What the fuck? Is Criss Angel the fucking GEICO Caveman now or something?

  32. Angus

    All that tough guy clothing and chains and dark sunglasses…and still, he can’t get rid of that salty taste in his mouth.

  33. Ted from LA

    Crissy looks like a pussy to me. Danny Bonaduce would kick his ass.

  34. Ted from LA

    Does “Crissy” ryme with “pussy”? I’m really bad with that kind of stuff.

  35. Auntie Kryst

    Hey does anyone know who the major bike club is in Las Vegas; Hells Angels or Bandidos?? Whichever club it is, I don’t think either of them would ask much on the contract to smoke his faggity ass. Someone start passing around the hat, let’s get this douchefucker once and for all.

  36. Kara

    that is the grossest beard I’ve ever seen.

  37. antoine

    Criss Angels best magic trick is getting a woman like that to actually want to hook up with him. Absolutely amazing!! How do you do it Angel?

  38. Wow, I’ve never seen Criss Angel’s beard before, looks good. His facial hair is nice too.

  39. He’s a massive fucking tool. Why do modern magicians always think they’re badass? Huh? Since when does disappearing in a garbage can or levitating in the buffet mean you’re the shit. I know a lot of people who, if this douche got in their face, they would do a magic trick where they make his head and shoulders disappear up his faggoty rectum.

    http://wtcctr.blogspot.com

  40. Hollywood Red

    “And for my next illusion, watch as I turn into the Macho Man Randy Savage!”

    Snap into a Slim Jim.

  41. monkeyfightclub

    He’s going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person on of these days.

  42. Hollywood Red

    Oh. Beaten to it by echswhyzee. :(

  43. norton

    Penn and Teller & David Blaine (before he got into the douche-tastic “endurance” crap) are the only truly inspiring magicians in the past 20 or so years.

    This asshat is just…. well, an asshat.

  44. Missystar

    Obviously, he has been reading all the negative press about his appearance–he claims he’s “too busy” to follow any of that stuff, btw–and decided to butch it up by adding a mountain-man beard. Although the intended effect is somewhat compromised by the fact that he still dresses like a total gaylord.

  45. FCS

    Percisely why I’m never going back to Douchville, I mean Vegas.

  46. ph7

    His greatest magic trick will be watching his career disappear.

  47. HuckyDucky

    GAYLORD I love it. I saw this picture and I knew “douche” and all of the “douche” variants no longer quite communicated what we have here.

    GAYLORD is perfect.

  48. Anal Bifida

    Why are all magicians so insecure about thier sexuality? Fuck Chris, try a little harder next time. Ten bucks says he drives a huge oversized truck or SUV too.

  49. Fucksteen

    Why all the hate? I mean he was awsome in The Crying Game.

    That was him right?

  50. big bob

    what a F’n looser.

    you’re a lllloooooser

    bah ha ha ha

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