Criss Angel slums it in Mexico

July 17th, 2009 // 241 Comments

Here’s Criss Angel and his new “girlfriend” in Mexico yesterday, and I love how Criss, who’s typically dressed to the nines as some form of magic goth/emo douche, lounges around with his gut hanging out while texting on his BlackBerry. In daylight. Quick, someone confiscate his black nail polish. He’s not sad and tortured inside.

NOTE: When I said “girlfriend” earlier obviously I meant prostitute. Just so we’re clear.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. Que

    Que failure.

  2. Irenee Weenie

    My, my how quickly we bounce back into the game!

  3. amanda

    hes gross, w/o all the douche gear i would never have known it was him if you hadnt told me

  4. Joe Johnson

    umm isn’t he usually totally ripped ? what happened ?

  5. Homeboy look like shit, without makeup and costumes…

  6. Hammertime

    Wow.

    I never liked this douchbag, but I figured he would be somewhat ripped and have tons of tattoos or something. He always came across as trying to be badass. He looks like an average, lazy dude with no muscle tone whatsoever.

    As horrible as it sounds, he might actually look better with his 50 pounds of jewelry, makeup and accessories…

  7. This is not news. He is not a celebrity. FAIL!

  8. copperfield

    This douchebag is better than I thought. How the hell does someone that pale remain so freakishly white while in Mexico? Witchcraft! Gaaah!

  9. dink squeeze

    DOUCHE

  10. Talking shit on Misha Barton way more entertaining

  11. Champ

    Where are all of the ladies trying to convince of his his hotness?
    I still say the word Douche was invented for this tool. Always fits, always appropriate.

  12. Wow, that is one tiny lady.

  13. Ray Doggy Dogg

    MINDFLAB!

  14. Pat

    That’s a body worthy of a Cirque de Solei show.

  15. Valerie

    @12 – no woman is going to try and convince you of his hotness… look at him. There’s nothing hot about that pilsbury dough boy.

  16. Anonymous

    so was this just photoshopped or something ?
    http://popbytes.com/img/criss-angel-mf-s3-1.jpg

  17. Mr.Nevermind

    I remember a little while ago, this guy was sort ripped. I’m glad I saw this though, it inspires me not to stop working out! The funny thing is with people like him, it doesn’t matter what you look like as long as you have money and fame, this guy will always be nailing someone hot…

  18. chupacabra

    These pics made me literally quit eating my lunch, and push my plate away, as I gagged slightly and threw up in my mouth just a bit.

    how on earth is he SO incredibly gross? I mean, I’ve seen pics of Mickey Rourke that don’t elicit such a visceral reaction in my gut.

    BARF.

    BTW, that’s the MAID.

  19. Hey chica in the itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini… instead of kissing him, you might as well gargle with vinegar and water…

  20. Dar

    Looks like the “Chris Angel” freakshow we’re all subjected to on TV is nothing but another fictional character portrayed by an actor trying to find a niche and make a living. I actually have more respect for the guy now that I see he’s really just some regular dude who found a profitable way to market himself.

    He’s not much different than Gene Simmons–take a group of average (at best) musicians, add outrageous costumes and make up, PROFIT!

    Unlike the Underpants Gnomes, these guys figured out Step 2. Kudos to them.

  21. Cash

    I hear from people in the industry that his show in Vegas is one huge epic fail, and they can’t even give away comp tickets, and other magicians despise the shit out of him on a personal and professional level.

    Not that any of this surprises me. Look at the fucker.

  22. JO JO

    Douche MC DOUCHERSON.. what a waste of money… and a major DOWNGRADE from Holly Madison… Guess he cant handle a woman closer to his own age.. Loseerrr

  23. Kmm

    He has no body hair.

  24. jhdv

    looks like he went from gothed out
    to pigged out.

  25. 4_Leaf_Clovers

    So what if he gained weight…he’s still hot….and I guarantee every single one of your guys in here are his size or bigger. Just saying.

  26. Christina

    Let the man have a vacation in peace!!! He looks great, and his girlfriend Sandra is not a prostitute! She is very nice and they have been together for sometime now. She’s much better than Holly ever was!

  27. Dread not

    Sad part is, this chick actually thinks he can perform magic. So it’s a pretty safe bet he hasn’t banged her yet. Mind Freak! Yeah, I do, MIND FREAK. So take your goth poser ass to the Gulf of Mexico, and disappear down a tiger sharks gullet. What a douche.

  28. He has such tiny little feet… :)

    Why do people seem to dislike him so much? I’ve never seen or heard of him doing any harm to anyone…

  29. This guy is all hokey pokey, should go back to New Jersey where he was performing brithday parties. What a contridaction

  30. AmericanWhiteTrash

    Anyone know of any magician / illusionist that’s not a douche bag fag?

  31. gigi

    they have been together for some time because she and her mother were with him at his wax figure revealing in may. i do know her name but im not going to post it as its not really anyones business and im sure itll come out anyway with the way the media is today. she is very beautiful but i have to say that she is very young. resembled a teenage gloria estefan. she did not look comfortable at all with the media or the press. she is very petite and the only time i saw her smile was to take the picture with criss. i personally think she is too young for this to last. ive met criss and while i wouldnt say he is hot, he sure is an ok looking guy and certainly does not not not look his age. and i have to say his skin is flawless up close and personal. and he did say even than that he had to tone it up a bit because the wax figure looked more ripped than him.
    overall he was a nice guy and his family were just the nicest people ever.

  32. gigi

    they have been together for some time because she and her mother were with him at his wax figure revealing in may. i do know her name but im not going to post it as its not really anyones business and im sure itll come out anyway with the way the media is today. she is very beautiful but i have to say that she is very young. resembled a teenage gloria estefan. she did not look comfortable at all with the media or the press. she is very petite and the only time i saw her smile was to take the picture with criss. i personally think she is too young for this to last. ive met criss and while i wouldnt say he is hot, he sure is an ok looking guy and certainly does not not not look his age. and i have to say his skin is flawless up close and personal. and he did say even than that he had to tone it up a bit because the wax figure looked more ripped than him.
    overall he was a nice guy and his family were just the nicest people ever.

  33. Sticky Wicket

    Are you sure that’s Angel? I just saw him in Vegas and he was, like…totally ripped! Maybe that was an illusion as well!

  34. Harry

    That isn’t his girlfriend. She looks like the maid for the room.

  35. Darth

    Chris Angel hasn’t worked out since the last two months.The girls looks surprisingly quite neat.

  36. ETphonehome

    Hearing Chris Angel is a douche in all the various forms is like a fart…I laugh everytime

  37. ETphonehome

    Hearing Chris Angel is a douch in all the various forms is like a fart…I laugh everytime

  38. angel

    I am glad Chris found someone to make him happy! She is cute!

    She is a step up from Holly! Im glad Chris dumped Holly…this girl makes holly look like crap….and she doesnt need tons of make-up, airbrushing and bleached hair to be beautiful!

  39. Mars

    Why are you calling her a “prostitute???” Just because she is Mexican?

  40. DCMikeRotch

    I always thought that, when the jackhole takes his shirt off, there’s just another Affliction t-shirt under it. One that’s fused to his skin.

  41. randyman

    Can’t forget to buy marshmellows this weekend….

  42. Dia

    dunno why all u idiots are dissin on the guy. im not some teenage fangirl, but his show is entertaining and he’s never done anything besides try to get publicity by “dating” women. in all reality, those are all staged to get him and the other person publicity…but then again all of hollywood is staged (cough, cough john and kate cough cough).

  43. JO

    Wow, racist much? Yes he is really gross, but why is she a prostitute? Please tell me it’s because you have concrete proof that she is indeed a streetwalker and not because she’s ethnic. So is this what people think when they see a white guy with an ethnic woman? That he’s slumming? I guess this country really hasn’t come that far…

  44. Viddiewell

    I don’t know, looks like he’s having a pretty good time.

  45. Owl

    too everyone saying he was ripped when they just saw him…obviously he has a twin brother who helps him do his illusions

  46. wfersg

    I really don’t see why everyone’s crapping on him. He may not be as hot as he used to be (before he went mainstream with an A&E show and cut off all his hair and changed his look entirely), but he’s still a normal, sweet guy, and I can’t stand people talking shit about him.

  47. fsfr

    By the way, he is NOT fat – I’m sure most of the sad specimens passing for “men” on here are fat, doughy fucks that make this guy look like a Ken doll.

  48. Bruce

    Can’t Criss find a real woman and leave the kid girlfriend to us 22 year old guys.

  49. Richard

    #27 and #32, are you hopeless romantics? Get real. Did you see this guy on Larry King just a few months ago with Holly gushing at how happy the two of them were? It’s all a joke! Entertainers, politicians, and especially musicians are womanizers. They feed off the energy of different women so they can keep going. I seriously don’t know why any of these people ever get married. At least Criss isn’t making that mistake again after he drained his first wife.

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