Criss Angel Got Engaged

September 21st, 2011 // 54 Comments

Criss Angel, who I just found out is 43 and wouldn’t have pegged him a day over douchey two, has proposed to his girlfriend Sandra Gonzalez, according to People:

“The couple is ecstatic,” says Angel’s rep.
Angel, who met Gonzalez four years ago on the set of his A&E series Mindfreak, surprised his bride-to-be with a 5-carat diamond and platinum ring he helped design with jeweler Idayne Kaye.

Keep in mind, Criss Angel was actually married while filming Mindfreak but kept his marriage a secret. And on the few episodes his wife was spotted in the background she was credited as “Criss’ Girl.” He told her it would boost his career if he looked single, and naturally that turned out to be a ruse to stick his penis in Cameron Diaz. Abracadabra! But I’m sure this time will go better because if there’s one type of person who’s willing to change, it’s men. We can’t get enough of it. *puts on 13 year old T-shirt, punches hole in wall after discovering smooth, not crunchy peanut butter in cupboard* MY LIFE IS OVER!

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. icu

    Paul Stanley…where have you been? I miss KISS.

  2. “Why does everyone guess ‘douche’ when I ask what’s in my hand?”

  3. Facebook Me

    He also stuck his dick in Holly Madison, shortly after her split from Hef.

    I’m sure this list grows.

  4. Rough? Not for sale!

    “Criss was actually married during mindfreak”. How did he do that?

    “Criss want to look single to boost his “career” How does he do that?

    “He helped design his own ring? Now, how did he do that????

  5. Cock Dr

    It’s hard to take a guy seriously when he’s wearing eyeliner.
    However a 5 carat diamond ring can really help a woman stop the giggling.

  6. Sodomy_Is_For_Girls

    Of all his spectacular abilities, he just can’t seem to make me give a shit about him.
    Weird, huh?

  7. Criss Angel Engaged
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    “And this is how his fist magically appeared in my anus!”

  8. rican

    I’m really looking forward to his disappearing act.

  9. Criss Angel Engaged
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Gawd help me…..I do find him somewhat attractive.
    Would be curious to see what he looks like after a good shower.
    *fumbles for bottle of gin in lower desk drawer*

  10. Eat

    Im impressed

  11. So wait, is he marrying Kat Von D?

  12. He probably baffled her by making his penis disappear in her vagina, then making it reappear smaller seconds later.

  13. Criss Angel Engaged
    Commented on this photo:

    Criss about to realize making his fingers disappear into Paris Hilton wasn’t such a good idea.

  14. Freaky

    Criss Angel. What a snot-nosed upstart. David Copperfield, on there hand, now he’s a real class act. Some guys do date rape — Copperfield does it on a private island. This Angel kid is a flash in the pan.

  15. Colin

    He’s engaged? Wow, Jesse James moves fast.

  16. ZigZagZoey

    Hopefully she can make him disappear. His money for sure, but I’d rather HE disappear.

  17. Gary

    “wouldn’t have pegged him a day over douchey two..”

    Now that’s just fabulous. Bravo, sir.

  18. Criss Angel Engaged
    taz
    Commented on this photo:

    Checking to see if he has any man-ass smell on his hand from last night!

  19. Criss Angel Engaged
    B
    Commented on this photo:

    What kind of monster prefers crunchy over smooth!?

  20. forrest gump

    believe it or not: HIS BOY-FRIEND CHANGED TO WOMEN!!

  21. It’s hard to take a grown man seriously if he dresses like a depressed teenager.

  22. Richard McBeef

    He’s giving a demonstration of:

    A) what everyone wants to do to his face.

    B) what he wants done to his ass.

  23. V

    every single one of Holly Madison’s men gets engaged after dating her. must be depressing for her.

  24. Lydia

    WTF?! Criss Angel’s girlfriend is like 21-22 at the oldest! That’s just wrong in EVERY possible way! Then again he doesn’t really have that big of a career anymore since A&E wouldn’t renew Mindfreak. What’s funny is Sandra was his rebound girl since his divorce when she was still a teen! I guess the whore on the side can get the guy when all the “good” women don’t want him anymore!

  25. MJB

    This guy is nothing but a Long Island prick who was supported by his wife for many years while he was struggling and when he finally makes it big, he dumps her to marry a friggin’ fetus. Seriously, he looks like his fiancee’s dad. Karma’s a bitch and I hope his second wife will take him for all he’s worth!

  26. Criss Angel Engaged
    Jackie
    Commented on this photo:

    I sincerely hope I’m not the only person who sees the resemblance to David Cross as Ronnie Dobbs.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRNEGw4fVU0

    Y’all are brutalizin’ me!

  27. That lady has a stubble.

  28. spiral

    “Watch as I make my penis disappear into several strippers, and shortly after I will make half my income disappear into a gold digger’s bank account! ABRACADOUCHE!”

  29. Criss Angel Engaged
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what my hair looks like on a really bad fucking morning.

    Luckily, however badly the evening goes, I never wake up with an ass-chin, though.

  30. Criss Angel Engaged
    Sir Richard Von Pooglesnuff
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re tearing me APART Lisa!!

  31. CranAppleSnapple

    Who in the hell? WHAT in the hell would want to marry that slimy creep?!

  32. Lady Luck

    Criss finally found a little girl that has both, a smaller vagina and a smaller brain than he does.

  33. Less Than Zero

    Sandra is a beautiful 21 year old. Anything is better than Hef’s leftover Holly Madison or any of his cult fans the loyals. If you have seen any of these crazy broads, I would get married right away, but that won’t keep these losers away! I’m talking about the married drunks w/children who all hate Sandra behind her back but ask for birthday wishes from their Saint Criss and smile and gush on his twitter timeline! If Criss heard what his loyals really say about him and Sandra-he would block them all!

  34. BIG MISTAKE FOR CRISS

    WHAT A JOKE CRISS HAS BECOME. THAT UGLY SANDRA WHO LOOKS LIKE A PENCIL WITH HAIR IS GOING TO TAKE ALL HIS MONEY AWAY FROM HIM.

    SHE COULD BE HIS DAUGHTER MAYBE EVEN HIS GRANDAUGTER

  35. Lots of Fish

    Criss is getting married again. Isn’t this the same man who said I am married to my career. I think he lies. And to top it off he is marrying this girl who is around his Neice’s age. hahahahahahahahahahahaha

  36. Samantha from Las Vegas

    I know Criss Angel doesn’t care but I wonder if he is aware of all the people he turned off by dating Sandra. Not out of jealously but out of lost of respect. He looks totally out of place with Sandra. He is a middle age man and it is obvious what a young kid she still is. I bet she hangs with his Neice and her friends. She is more their age.

    His fans on his site say how wonderful it is BUT don’t say the same off his site.

    He is a smart man I don’t see how he can’t see it.

    • Marilyn Ex Criss Angel Fan

      BORING BORING BORING BORING.

      Criss Angel became a total bore since he has been with Sandra.

      She brought the boring and looking stupid out of him.

  37. Question about Sandra?

    Does anybody know for a FACT that Sandra is only 21 years old? That is 20 plus years younger then Criss Angel. That is kind of sick don’t you think?

    I don’t think Criss would date somebody close to his Neice’s age let alone marry her.

    My thinking is that Criss and Sandra are laughing at you all that we think she is such a young kid when in reality she is in her late 20′s early 30′s and just happens to look like a 16 year old.

    I’m betting she is at least 28 years old. (I hope)!.

  38. Criss Angel Engaged
    Question about Sandra?
    Commented on this photo:

    I am waiting to see if Criss can turn his child fiance into a woman.

    How old is his tag along girlfriend?

    She looks 15 years old and clueless.

  39. Yikes

    Really Criss? You can’t find a woman? How old is Sandra 15?

  40. Sad truth

    Sad truth things seem to have gone downhill for Criss since being with (engaged to) Sandra.

  41. Aisha

    criss will date and may marry sandra becauce she is too young and too stupid, in other words handling and dealing with her will be very easy for him, she will be like a doll in his hand, she is too young and shallow to argue with or even say no to him.
    regarding his money, i do not think cirss wil marry without a pre-marriage contract that will keep most of his wealth safe in case of divorce.

  42. Just Saying

    I used to be a big fan of Criss Angel before he started dating that bimbo Holly Madison. I see now that he is engaged (I’m happy for him) BUT is his girl at least 18 years old.

    She looks like a 15 or 16 year old.

    Just saying …..

  43. This is way to funny

    Sandra just got a boob job to help her look like a mature woman. NOPE she still looks like a kid.

    http://yfrog.com/kjouvcfj

  44. you got to be kidding me ...

    LMAO!…..ok i just caught the recent CA uncensored “Criss Angel Road Trip” and it is soooo apparent, besides being really young and not right for him that A) Sandra is super annoying. (especially that fake, high pitched voice) B) she has the personality of a wall. seriously, she’s a dime a dozen. C) She’s INSECURE and JEALOUS folks! trust me a real woman can see these things… listen to the remarks she kept making when Nathan Burton was talking about his own engagement and the bachelor party. Immature. She acts like she “owns” him.

    Yeah, i bet this little girl is a royal b****……i also bet she requires a lot of attention and reassurance because it took her too long to hook him. you can see she has trust and control issues. He better run for the hills on this one because she is going to do nothing but drain him if she doesn’t already. Im seriously laughing at the notion of these two being together….what a puppet show! Don’t worry girls this will implode on itself eventually. There is unhealthiness there.

    also, his ex wife looks and acts a hell of a lot better than she ever will. For real.

  45. nejat hussein

    there is something secret on this because his lover maybe cameron diaze but his spiritual lover is younger than him 21 years old but it’s painful to her because she can’t get him in real life but he is magician(criss) he can get her easily criss should see this critically

  46. nejat hussein

    his spiritual lover younger than him 21 years old

  47. nejat hussein

    his spiritual lover younger than him 21 years that’s to pain full to her

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