The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 3.15.11

March 15th, 2011 // 244 Comments

Welcome to a new feature on The Superficial where I make our photo editor work even harder for my approval only to completely ignore him while I drink my beer and stare at the television. Builds character. Anyway, throughout the course of the day we don’t get a chance to feature all the photos we want because Charlie Sheen shot another hooker or my tum-tum needs a nap-nap because writing penis jokes makes me sweepy. So here’s the inaugural post featuring such wonders as: Tracy Morgan bare-chested with a lightsaber. A sad, dateless Dane Cook arriving to his own birthday party. That kid Taylor Swift is banging despite being named “Chord” and Vanessa Hudgens in a tank top because we’re gonna get that Pulitzer, dammit.

Pageview? What’s a pageview?

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, it looks like Vincent Gallo’s cock really does have magic powers. Evil magic powers.

  2. Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t hold your hand like that, sweetie. People will know.”

  3. hollywood_hillbilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Danny DeVito in drag, only less classy.

  4. I just threw up into my mouth a little.

  5. Commented on this photo:

    How does she get that color? Does she go to the tanning salon and ask for the Oompa Loompa?

  6. Commented on this photo:

    Did her Spanx give out on her? That’s one supa-dupa belly! Time to STOP making the doughnuts! Never did like chicks who remove their shoes in a club.

  7. knocturnal
    Commented on this photo:

    “And Justin is this big”

  8. Commented on this photo:

    She didn’t eat it. She posed with it, licked her fingers and then barfed.

  9. KayKay

    Looks like Snooki is “presenting” her goods again…..she must be in heat

  10. Bringit

    Tracy Morgan has never been remotely funny. He gets by 100% on knowing the right people, completely talentless shite.

  11. JonV
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the least realistic wax sculpture I have ever seen.

  12. Big foot bunny
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass is way too flat for my liking.

  13. He did say someone was going to get pregnant…

  14. Smilee
    Commented on this photo:

    Eve made a comeback!

  15. Commented on this photo:

    I see that Ke$ha lost her bikini top, and should pick up a bottle of sunscreen.

  16. Commented on this photo:

    “Mr. Space-Bieber, would you please demonstrate what you did when Space-Usher offered you ‘something to wash down the Jesus-Juice?’”

  17. Commented on this photo:

    I remember the first time I saw Kendra Wilkinson. She was bursting out of John Hurt’s chest in “Alien.”

  18. Commented on this photo:

    Donald Sutherland shaved his mustache!

  19. Commented on this photo:

    We’ve seen what tiger-blood does, and now we see what leopard-skin does…is there no part of a jungle cat that is safe to use for formerly a-list actors?

  20. Commented on this photo:

    Exercise class? From the stunned look on her face, I would have guessed she was leaving a class on theoretical physics.

  21. Commented on this photo:

    How many Kardashians ARE there?

  22. J
    Commented on this photo:

    This is like air guitaring for porn stars.

  23. J
    Commented on this photo:

    Dancing with the Stars? Oh, I thought the show was “Who will look the most like Kirstie Alley in 10 years?”

  24. Texaschikkita
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit – when did nick note and Courtney love procreate?

  25. Texaschikkita
    Commented on this photo:

    Introducing the new white-beater. I mean wife-beater.

  26. Texaschikkita
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone should introduce them to mirrors. Just set one down next to them, and RUN

  27. Texaschikkita
    Commented on this photo:

    The other side of the bag reads . . . I have none.

  28. Texaschikkita
    Commented on this photo:

    I always wonders what happened to that guy from party oF 5. Hmmmm. I coulda sworn that whole cast died.

  29. Texaschikkita
    Commented on this photo:

    Omg that’s my same ‘eating doritos’ outfit

  30. StayPuftOverlord
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he have a dead baby pooch?

  31. Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn! That bitch is gonna make ANOTHER shitload of money when Louis Vuitton pays her to NOT be seen with their products!

  32. Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw, damn! The “Guntettes” have reunited and I missed it?

  33. RtSS
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s some scary shit… I am gonna have nightmares now. Uggh!

  34. Commented on this photo:

    They think they’re raising the roof. Reality is, the floor is lowering. Club Owner: This building has a basement? Who knew?

  35. Commented on this photo:

    Vincent Gallo told her that his man-goo was full of protein and good-luck. That was a half-truth.

  36. MILF
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, she is a smart, responsible woman who takes care of her kids and isn’t out at ‘da club’ partying all night long. STFU.

    • cutthecrap

      exactly, she’s a smart responsible woman who has a nanny take care of her kids and a personal chef and housekeeper so that she go and get her fitness on. Hey Milf, how bout you STFU.

      • Fifi

        LMAO, cutt

      • Dox

        Actually, she’s a smart responsible woman who has a nanny take care of her kids so she can get wasted with her husband, drive home drunk, and scream at the cops…

        “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”

        My how we soon forget.

  37. Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Sprinkle the rice on the floor. Sumo’s about to start.

  38. Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m Rick James, BITCH!

  39. Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Brown Bunny Brown Bunny Brown Bunny Brown Bunny!!!!!

  40. Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof positive that we will fuck and marry anything regardless of common sense. Let me know when this guy is fighting domestic abuse accusations and living on a friends couch.

  41. Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly we can tell which one likes it in the ass the most.

  42. Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Chord who????

  43. Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    You see ladies! Sucking dick for a living does payoff!

  44. Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    What is he shopping for? Brass knuckles???

    • cutthecrap

      nah, talent. He heard there’s a good sale going on when you buy the coat tails of one Michael Jackson, you get to beat Rhianna’s ass for free.

  45. Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Paging Mr George Clooney…Paging Mr George Clooney…your next conquest is waiting for you. There is your future replacement Stacy.

  46. Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    She thinks they taste even better coming back up.

  47. Do_Freebird
    Commented on this photo:

    …… and this is your face on cock.

  48. cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    even after an abortion, a bag of Doritos is just what a girl needs!

  49. cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    ok, wtf is happening with these young bitches with gunts? Do they own fucking mirrors? Seriously, my dinner just came up.

  50. cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    nothing creepier than some dude who’s face looks about 12 yrs old with a juiced up body! Yikes!

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