Welcome to a new feature on The Superficial where I make our photo editor work even harder for my approval only to completely ignore him while I drink my beer and stare at the television. Builds character. Anyway, throughout the course of the day we don’t get a chance to feature all the photos we want because Charlie Sheen shot another hooker or my tum-tum needs a nap-nap because writing penis jokes makes me sweepy. So here’s the inaugural post featuring such wonders as: Tracy Morgan bare-chested with a lightsaber. A sad, dateless Dane Cook arriving to his own birthday party. That kid Taylor Swift is banging despite being named “Chord” and Vanessa Hudgens in a tank top because we’re gonna get that Pulitzer, dammit.
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- The Superficial
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Photos: Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN
You now you are in bad shape when you are trying to ride Tim Allen’s popularity coat-tails.
She had her father’s features. He was 112.
If you don’t like the name “Chord”, use his nickname, “Date-Rapey McDoucheNozzle”.
Awesome.
He probably posts on this site with that nickname.
Darth Vader’s burns were more extensive than previously thought.
“Retarded American Gothic”
Well, I guess Christopher Walken would be creepier as a girl.
Last time I saw a face like that it had a fishhook in it.
Is this some sort of Rorschach test? All I see are lips and a beard.
That’s not Tori, that’s Candice. SW, again with your shotty sources!
“If I purse my lips just a little more I can look like Angelina Jolie!”
That’s not her boyfriend. That’s her dad.
At least girls from Jersey have great personalities.
LOL
How the hell is the retarded one considered a star of the Jersey Shore?
Never, ever in the history of language has a one combination of words called for more specificity.
I’m embarrassed that I even noticed his zipper was down. I swear I’m not a creepy pedophile.
I hate this guy. He’s just not funny. He should be washing Tina Fey’s feet with his money.
+1
Who. Cares.
Is that a baby bottle??
is Vanilla Ice trying to make a comeback?
God, only Dane Cook could make the Vanilla Ice look more douchey
Who the F converts anal beads into a necklace?
please don’t do this ever again. we missed it cuz it’s crap and we don’t care. there’s no point to looking at pictures of dane cook and that troll from the jersey shore without also enjoying at least a hundred words of your brilliant penis wit on their douchebaggery.
This guy isn’t hot. The new guy who plays a gay guy is the hot one.
Fuck. Yeah.
Only one photo!? And you posted an entire album of an amorphous piece of pale meat (A.K.A. Ke$ha)?
You are in debt with us with at least the uncensored photos of Vanessa Hudgens.
I find it amazing that everyone is commenting on his hair and Buzz Lightyear yet no one mentions the acid-washed denim jacket that he stole from a skateboarder 25 years ago. On that note, I’m going to burn all Pixar-related items in my children’s toy box. Thanks Chris!
Um, she knows he’s gay, right? Right? ‘Cause that’s totally a gay face he’s making.
Charlie Sheen’s got nothin on Tracey Jordan’s definition of WIN
Looks like something that could get a guy into a whole lotta trouble.
“I like them because they really knock out the nasty Bieber aftertaste”.
“AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! SCOUSERS!!!”
I think Daniel Craig looked WAY better in the Equality spot. Whoever did his makeup this time really missed the boat…
I appreciate the effort, Fish, but I have to say, without a narrative and gags, I really can’t sustain interest in clicking through 15 pictures of people I would otherwise not care about. Not care about without the narrative and gags, that is.
yep, he looks right at home in West Hollywood.
One night with a Kardashian and Justin wonders why it hurts when he makes a wee-wee for Jesus now ….
I had no idea that Popeye and Olive Oyl actually had kids together …!
This is what happens to Macauley Culkin after losing Mila Kunis to …well, the world, basically.
I’m trying to imagine having more thane Dorito a month … yes, being fat must be very nice, indeed.
“Shit Spaceman, I dialed a 1 and a 9 and I still can’t reach the bitches on Planet Beatthefuckoutofme.”
Dane Cook stole Zach Galifianakis’ Mr. T haircut now? Jesus, is there anything he won’t steal from another comedian?
Ahh, I remember my first encounter with premature ejaculation…
He’s wearing a Buzz Lightyear necklace, but he’s always struck me as a guy who would wear a woody around his neck.
I wasn’t just thinking that he’s the guy that beat Rihanna’s face in :(
This is the moment where Justin Beiber discovered he actually has a penis.
He bears a frightening resemblance to Gary Busey.
Any resemblance to Gary Busey is a frightening one.
Much like the 80′s wrestler Kamala, I bet Tracy Morgan repeatedly slaps his stomach before going into a lightsaber battle.
Ironic to think that this is the only actress to swallow a nut on camera during a non porn movie.
I AM A JEDI.
His midiclorian count is off the charts… and you can see where he keeps’em all
Blond is so not his color… I wonder what his daughter Liv thinks about his new look
I want him to be my only slightly older uncle.
“My choreographer said this move was ‘faboo,’ but I feel icky.”
“Wait a minute! I can’t punch a phone!”