The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 3.15.11

March 15th, 2011 // 241 Comments

Welcome to a new feature on The Superficial where I make our photo editor work even harder for my approval only to completely ignore him while I drink my beer and stare at the television. Builds character. Anyway, throughout the course of the day we don’t get a chance to feature all the photos we want because Charlie Sheen shot another hooker or my tum-tum needs a nap-nap because writing penis jokes makes me sweepy. So here’s the inaugural post featuring such wonders as: Tracy Morgan bare-chested with a lightsaber. A sad, dateless Dane Cook arriving to his own birthday party. That kid Taylor Swift is banging despite being named “Chord” and Vanessa Hudgens in a tank top because we’re gonna get that Pulitzer, dammit.

Pageview? What’s a pageview?

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN

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  1. Commented on this photo:

    You now you are in bad shape when you are trying to ride Tim Allen’s popularity coat-tails.

  2. Commented on this photo:

    She had her father’s features. He was 112.

  3. Commented on this photo:

    If you don’t like the name “Chord”, use his nickname, “Date-Rapey McDoucheNozzle”.

  4. Arizona Ken

    Darth Vader’s burns were more extensive than previously thought.

  5. Zed
    Commented on this photo:

    “Retarded American Gothic”

  6. Commented on this photo:

    Well, I guess Christopher Walken would be creepier as a girl.

  7. Commented on this photo:

    Last time I saw a face like that it had a fishhook in it.

  8. Commented on this photo:

    Is this some sort of Rorschach test? All I see are lips and a beard.

  9. Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not Tori, that’s Candice. SW, again with your shotty sources!

  10. babablacksheep
    Commented on this photo:

    “If I purse my lips just a little more I can look like Angelina Jolie!”

  11. Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not her boyfriend. That’s her dad.

  12. Commented on this photo:

    At least girls from Jersey have great personalities.

  13. Amigoi
    Commented on this photo:

    How the hell is the retarded one considered a star of the Jersey Shore?

  14. jenjen
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m embarrassed that I even noticed his zipper was down. I swear I’m not a creepy pedophile.

  15. Eric

    I hate this guy. He’s just not funny. He should be washing Tina Fey’s feet with his money.

  16. roseY
    Commented on this photo:

    Who. Cares.

  17. roseY
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a baby bottle??

  18. jenn t
    Commented on this photo:

    is Vanilla Ice trying to make a comeback?

  19. ick-abod
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the F converts anal beads into a necklace?

  20. ginaraejones
    Commented on this photo:

    please don’t do this ever again. we missed it cuz it’s crap and we don’t care. there’s no point to looking at pictures of dane cook and that troll from the jersey shore without also enjoying at least a hundred words of your brilliant penis wit on their douchebaggery.

  21. MrsEllis
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy isn’t hot. The new guy who plays a gay guy is the hot one.

  22. Arzach
    Commented on this photo:

    Only one photo!? And you posted an entire album of an amorphous piece of pale meat (A.K.A. Ke$ha)?
    You are in debt with us with at least the uncensored photos of Vanessa Hudgens.

  23. Mother of the Year
    Commented on this photo:

    I find it amazing that everyone is commenting on his hair and Buzz Lightyear yet no one mentions the acid-washed denim jacket that he stole from a skateboarder 25 years ago. On that note, I’m going to burn all Pixar-related items in my children’s toy box. Thanks Chris!

  24. Lita
    Commented on this photo:

    Um, she knows he’s gay, right? Right? ‘Cause that’s totally a gay face he’s making.

  25. Frank Rizzo
    Commented on this photo:

    Charlie Sheen’s got nothin on Tracey Jordan’s definition of WIN

  26. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like something that could get a guy into a whole lotta trouble.

  27. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    “I like them because they really knock out the nasty Bieber aftertaste”.

  28. Jess
    Commented on this photo:

    “AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! SCOUSERS!!!”

  29. eab74
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Daniel Craig looked WAY better in the Equality spot. Whoever did his makeup this time really missed the boat…

  30. TomFrank

    I appreciate the effort, Fish, but I have to say, without a narrative and gags, I really can’t sustain interest in clicking through 15 pictures of people I would otherwise not care about. Not care about without the narrative and gags, that is.

  31. oldfool
    Commented on this photo:

    yep, he looks right at home in West Hollywood.

  32. friendlyfires
    Commented on this photo:

    One night with a Kardashian and Justin wonders why it hurts when he makes a wee-wee for Jesus now ….

  33. friendlyfires
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea that Popeye and Olive Oyl actually had kids together …!

  34. friendlyfires
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens to Macauley Culkin after losing Mila Kunis to …well, the world, basically.

  35. friendlyfires
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m trying to imagine having more thane Dorito a month … yes, being fat must be very nice, indeed.

  36. fuzzmonster
    Commented on this photo:

    “Shit Spaceman, I dialed a 1 and a 9 and I still can’t reach the bitches on Planet Beatthefuckoutofme.”

  37. justuhbill
    Commented on this photo:

    Dane Cook stole Zach Galifianakis’ Mr. T haircut now? Jesus, is there anything he won’t steal from another comedian?

  38. justuhbill
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahh, I remember my first encounter with premature ejaculation…

  39. justuhbill
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s wearing a Buzz Lightyear necklace, but he’s always struck me as a guy who would wear a woody around his neck.

  40. Commented on this photo:

    I wasn’t just thinking that he’s the guy that beat Rihanna’s face in :(

  41. Bobobo
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the moment where Justin Beiber discovered he actually has a penis.

  42. Bobobo
    Commented on this photo:

    He bears a frightening resemblance to Gary Busey.

  43. Phil McCracken

    Much like the 80′s wrestler Kamala, I bet Tracy Morgan repeatedly slaps his stomach before going into a lightsaber battle.

  44. Jon
    Commented on this photo:

    Ironic to think that this is the only actress to swallow a nut on camera during a non porn movie.

  45. Anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    I AM A JEDI.

  46. Manowl
    Commented on this photo:

    His midiclorian count is off the charts… and you can see where he keeps’em all

  47. Manowl
    Commented on this photo:

    Blond is so not his color… I wonder what his daughter Liv thinks about his new look

  48. Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    I want him to be my only slightly older uncle.

  49. Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “My choreographer said this move was ‘faboo,’ but I feel icky.”

  50. Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wait a minute! I can’t punch a phone!”

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