Us Weekly reports that Paula Abdul is being replaced with Courtney Love on American Idol. Courtney says that American Idol’s executive producer Nigel Lythgoe called her office last week inquiring if she’d be interested in sitting in as a judge.
“He called,” Love tells Usmagazine.com. “He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant.” But a source tells Usmagazine.com that Lythgoe was considering having Love “replace Paula.”
Doesn’t replacing Paula Abdul with Courtney Love sort of defeat the purpose of replacing Paula Abdul? It’s like getting bit by your pet dog and deciding to replace it with an angry polar bear that hasn’t eaten in two weeks. Yeah, Paula Abdul is usually drunk and incoherent, but if they put Courtney Love on the show she’d spend 90% of the time crawling on the floor crying and calling up old boyfriends to take her back. Then she’d start dry humping a trashcan before throwing up and muttering about how embarrassed she is as she falls asleep.
Pointandlaugh | January 30, 2007 at 2:34 pm
oh please God say it isn’t so…..
happy_bunny | January 30, 2007 at 2:35 pm
They’re just bound and determined to fill that slot with a substance abuser aren’t they.
happy_bunny | January 30, 2007 at 2:36 pm
HAHA you’re NOT first, bitches! Or second or third.
Jason The Barbarian | January 30, 2007 at 2:37 pm
And now the jokes will simply write themselves…
jc | January 30, 2007 at 2:38 pm
i swear i will never watch idol again if they replace paula with this sack of shit!
wwworldclique | January 30, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Que?
wedgeone | January 30, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I hear that Lisa Marie Presley is available. Her credentials rank right up there with these two, but at least she’s not constantly fucked up on alcohol or drugs. And she’s a bit more tolerable to look at.
Chester Coonen | January 30, 2007 at 2:50 pm
It just doesn’t make sense… well, now that I think about it… Trading a drunky for a druggy. Ok – I’m in :)
Kristin | January 30, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Omg that would make watching Idol worth it haha.
LL | January 30, 2007 at 2:56 pm
I might actually start watching this crapfest if they dump Paula for Courtney. They’re both unbelievably messed up, but I think Courtney is a little more entertaining about it. Paula’s just sorta sad. Maybe Simon got tired of listening to Paula bitch about him, seeing as how he gave her a career and all. What the hell was she doing before Idol? Hostessing at an IHOP? Too bad Rick James is dead, he would’ve been awesome on Idol.
WhoTheFuckCares | January 30, 2007 at 2:58 pm
US Weekly? The same mag that said Lindsay Lohan died from eating too much food?
sitara | January 30, 2007 at 3:07 pm
I don’t know if she’ll make it long enough to film any episodes. Her lips seem well on their way to swallowing the rest of her face.
suzy | January 30, 2007 at 3:08 pm
hahaha, right like Simon would agree to THAT!
that report is so false
Dean | January 30, 2007 at 3:10 pm
This is a sure sign; the apocalypse is nigh.
Binky | January 30, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I think Court got it wrong.
They want her to be a contestant.
Binky | January 30, 2007 at 3:16 pm
“We’ve decided train-wrecks are the way to go,” said one producer. ” The future of the show is in human wreckage.”
ToiletDuck | January 30, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Oh God, I love it – this crack whore will really drive the ratings up…the more fucked up she is, the better…
LoneWolf | January 30, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Oh, yeah, that’s gonna happen.
In related news, Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are being replaced with Fred Flintstone and George Jetson. No, still too plausible….make that Yogi Bear and Woody Woodpecker.
John Doe Jr | January 30, 2007 at 3:32 pm
If your going to replace her with another female junkie, go for Aaron Carter, she’s toothpick thin and really emotional.
sikofdis | January 30, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Paul Abdul = Talentless Drunk Cunt
Courtney Love = Talentless Drugged-Out Cunt
Simon Cowell = Super-Talentless, Hyper-Uber-Mega Cunt (and, particularly in this cunts case, I don’t just mean the mildly derrogatory British usage of the word)
and furthermore…cunt, cunt, cunt!
caljenna | January 30, 2007 at 3:43 pm
It’s the American Idol has-been judge’s seat, starring in order:
1. Paula Abdul
2. Courtney Love
3. Britney Spears
Furture occupants TBA (We’re watching you, Duff!)
BigJim | January 30, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Okay, I believed the shit about Hohan having her appendix in her freezer.
And I believe that FedEx has a sex tape of him and Britney.
The jury is still out on Santa Claus.
But this? No fucking way.
greeneyedcat | January 30, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Haha, doubtful. She probably made it up. But yeah, it made me a little ill nonetheless.
anothershityear | January 30, 2007 at 4:04 pm
there’s ugly.
then there’s fugly.
after that, comes mufugly.
and even after that, is mubufugly.
then, there’s Courtney Love.
PunjabPete | January 30, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Not to mention she wouldn’t know talent if it blew it’s head off because it regreted marrying such a freaky skank…..
Shelley Bonnechance | January 30, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Well, that should be entertaining. I can just see Courtney “judging” a person with a better voice than hers (which would be, like, everybody) and hoisting her dress up around her waist, clambering on stage yelling something about bitches and then beating the crap out of some little girl from Minnesota with a microphone stand.
Good times….good times.
wedgeone | January 30, 2007 at 4:20 pm
#25 – Damn, PP. That’s cold.
Binky | January 30, 2007 at 4:24 pm
#25 perhaps a bit harsh…perhaps not.
I hate to say anything positive here…
(in case you haven’t noticed a pattern ) but Malibu is a good song. When I first heard it I couldn’t believe where it came from.
‘You’re Going to Hollywood Courtney! ….security… SECURITY !!!
Binky | January 30, 2007 at 4:35 pm
(I think Kurt probably had more demons than just Courtney)
HollyJ | January 30, 2007 at 5:08 pm
i bet her labia look like an infected sharpei
flauccinaucinihilipilifcation | January 30, 2007 at 5:12 pm
I know this is a bit delayed but #19 – that’s farken funny!!!! Still pissing myself here at work!!!
Truthseeker013 | January 30, 2007 at 5:27 pm
So, why not just make Paula wear a blonde wig? Same diff.
DrunkBlogger | January 30, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Worst fucking idea ever.
aww its deb | January 30, 2007 at 6:05 pm
i watch AI every week. but, if this is true, thats the end for me. and crap, they cancelled Armed and Famous on Wednesdays, so i guess i’ll have to watch COPS. i love being white trash!
parishaswarts | January 30, 2007 at 6:11 pm
COURTNEY? judging talent? oh my. well thats akin to paris judging virginity. and if she sees someone whos really good, she will marry then and then kill them.
XeoRad | January 30, 2007 at 6:19 pm
I saw this sack of shit on multiple occassions in Portland, at a freaky club called the Satyricon. This is back in the day, when she would beat the shit out of Kurt and he was a loser no-name heroin addict. She is gross, will always be gross and will probably only get better after she is dead and rotting. Kind of like cheese.
eastcoastgirl | January 30, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Paula’s behavior has been a bit bizarre lateley. Sure, let’s bring on Courtney Love! That’s the answer! What a crock.
RunningWithCarsAndBoysWithScissors | January 30, 2007 at 7:00 pm
it’s like having smoldering fire in your kitchen that’s kind of causing a problem and putting it out with a flamethrower
MissDior17 | January 30, 2007 at 7:46 pm
Posted by John Doe Jr on January 30, 2007 3:32 PM
If your going to replace her with another female junkie, go for Aaron Carter, she’s toothpick thin and really emotional.
———————-
Bless thy heart.
Celebrity Crunch | January 30, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Did you see her on tonights show? She literally looked retarded. She could not sit still. And the mysteriously disappeared half way through the show to leave only Randy and Simon. They probably shipped her ass off to join Lindsay at Wonderland. Paula is just a fifth away from being Courtney as it is.
cole007 | January 30, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Another one who makes being human look BAD. How is it that she is so repulsive that Jay Leno even seems palatable remotely?
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER.
no talent loser.
checkyourshorts | January 30, 2007 at 9:41 pm
I thought the grunge thing was anti-conformist. A “non-conformist” gets to judge others on their ability to produce pop?
Now all she needs is a product and an hour of your time on late night TV. Nad’s hemorrhoid cream. SkankBGone stripper pole cleaner. The Courtney Love collection at Kmart. “Bean” Parfum.
Lobo | January 30, 2007 at 11:32 pm
Paula should be replaced by that chick from Hanson.
Mono | January 30, 2007 at 11:49 pm
She killed Kurt Cobain!!!
supanigga | January 31, 2007 at 12:16 am
paula has become a flamboyant hoe.
all those millions must be going to her head.
CelebrityPhotos | January 31, 2007 at 3:26 am
Haha.. whos biggest looser :/
MrSemprini | January 31, 2007 at 4:09 am
First!
But, seriously… Paula, if you’re actually reading this (not your assistant – and by assistant, I mean corrections officer), try NOT drinking, ummm, alcohol, for a few days. That clear-headed feeling with the strange pangs in your stomach a few times a day, well that’s called being sober. You’ll get used to it, I’m sure.
Niecy | January 31, 2007 at 4:31 am
I don’t believe this is true. Paula may need to be replaced but that is one of the worst people they could pick. Simon definitely wouldn’t go for it.
Photoman15 | January 31, 2007 at 5:06 am
Oh, puh-lease
They said the same thing last year only it was Britney Spears that was supposed to be the one coming in to replace Paula
jrzmommy | January 31, 2007 at 5:58 am
Only if she wears her ripped babydoll dresses, tiaras and smeared makeup. I don’t like the cleaned up version of Courtney. I like the chick that beat Stephanie Seymour’s ass back in the 90s.