Courtney Love is pregnant

Courtney Love and Steve Coogan reportedly had a two-week fling and now Courtney claims that she is pregnant with his child. This is fantastic news, because I’ve always said that Courtney Love would make a great mother and is totally capable of taking care of a human baby. Oh wait, that wasn’t me. That was nobody. See, because Courtney Love is the biggest mess of a woman that the world has ever seen, and my bowl of cereal could take better care of a child than she could.