Courteney Cox needs to rethink her security

March 6th, 2008 // 93 Comments

Courteney Cox is targeting Britney Spears and Paris Hilton on her new season of FX’s Dirt. I never watch the show because, quite frankly, Courteney looks like the type of chick that would eat your soul – without the courtesy of letting you see her bra. Anyway, she’s not afraid who she’ll parody this season because she’s got her big, strong husband David Arquette to protect her according to FOX News (Who conveniently is part of the same parent company as FX. I’m just sayin’.):

But if the celebs don’t find the joke so funny, it is her hubby/fellow executive producer, David Arquette, who will handle the heat.
“If somebody called me and was really mad at me, I’d assure them that it was never my intention to hurt anybody,” Cox said. “But I’ll just give the phone over to David.”

Because there’s nothing more terrifying than a hipster doofus in your grill. I mean, seriously. All you have to do is say Bright Eyes sounds just like Arcade Fire then, when he rambles on for five hours, you beat him over the head with his Mac Powerbook. Now get on the horn, and tell them how to bring these sons of bitches down!

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Auntie Kryst

    Whoa whoa whoa, pour me a drink too please. My mail just arrived, and I got a letter from PCH. I may already be a winner of several million dollars. Cheers!

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  5. jesse

    HOLY ADAM’S APPLE BATMAN!!

  6. Ript1&0

    Christ, I’m so not hip anymore. I’m not familiar with these bands, never really got in to that genre I suppose. Is it still popular now? Ok, I’ll put them on the list.

  7. momo

    manhands

  8. momo

    but I would tap her.

  9. momo

    or at least get a hand job

  10. momo

    or at least get a hand job

  11. momo

    or at least get a hand job

  12. vertmont

    Shes turning in to Demi Moore!

  13. carly

    courtney cox is a bombshell! luv her

  14. bobosl

    btw, I saw his pic before on a celeb site called ‘SearchingMillionaire dot com’! Is that fake or real?

  15. Best Comment Ever

    All you have to do is say Bright Eyes sounds just like Arcade Fire then, when he rambles on for five hours, you beat him over the head with his Mac Powerbook.

    The above comment is amazingly awesome

  16. toolsjdj

    Everyone go check out searchingmillionaire.com. It is cool.

  17. D. Richards (Groper.)

    Please, Frist — Twenty-nine? Sure.

  18. hateher

    check out her fuckin huge adams apple-gross looks like she swallowed a dick-i mean thats damn gross

  19. Ted from LA

    She looks like she just lost a match of Rock’em Sock’em Robot. I think the reason she lost is because she and her husband had five bottles of wine at dinner instead of one. That and she has a 19 inch neck.

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  21. She doesn’t need security..she looks like she could kick some serious ass if you pissed her off.

  22. jstunnah

    shes gotten like angelina jolie skeletor skinny or something…

  23. Border

    Ewwww. Courteney and JAniston are getting seriously ugly in the face. Dunno about Kudrow though, she is out of work.

  24. hoss arse

    dam, she used to be hot back in the day, what happened?

    oh yea, she got old like everyone else.

    sigh

    -hoss

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  26. Snarky McComments

    First picture: Think Jack Nicholson as the Joker.

  27. Drag

    Every single one of you, including the author, has misspelled her name. It’s spelled Courteney. Dumbasses.

  28. lisa

    really

  29. jand

    i just can’ t belive

  30. ellenmiss

    I am so tired of hearing that she is dating some acute guys on wealthydater.com. None of our business.

  31. AssBigot

    What the fuck is wrong with her face? It’s like Cameron Diaz grafted with the joker and with Demi.

    Scary!!!

  32. BunnyButt

    #67, yes, 29. Again.

  33. Hittheass

    That adams apple looks like it might poke someone in the eye.

  34. carolee

    Hey, what’s Morticia doing with David Arquette? Damn, she looks good for someone in her 80′s!

  35. NOYB

    what the heck hapened to her?? she use to be pretty in friends. and what in the world has she done to her upper lip??!!!!

  36. PoopNurkle

    Is that splooge on her wrist?

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  38. a doe

    OMG you guys….she’s like in her 40′s!!! She looks great compared to most that age…give the chic a break

  39. Chocolate Donut

    Janice Dickenson – your table is ready. She used to be so cute, and now, must be the sun…

  40. yourmom

    bright eyes sucks

  41. yourmom

    bright eyes sucks

  42. yourmom

    bright eyes sucks

  43. Romey

    She has an adam’s apple!

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