Courtney Stodden’s Ramblings Are Still A Goddamn Goldmine

October 11th, 2011 // 135 Comments
Courtney Stodden Marilyn Monroe

Seen here taking a massive, faux-child-bride pee on Marilyn Monroe‘s grave yesterday, Courtney Stodden is still posting insane shit to Twitter, so tonight, in lieu of The Crap We Missed, The Superficial brings you:

The Annotated Ramblings of Courtney Stodden-Hutchinson

Mmm… Want to know a sexy secret about me? I am a deliciously dangerous Doug-Addict – Shhh!! ;-) XOs

Today I figured out how to open the medicine cabinet by myself!

Wildly wiggling & jauntily jiggling myself to jolting jams as I friskily flaunt a flirty outfit completed w/sexy white 7in. go-go boots! ;-)

Sometimes I have seizures and wake up naked! Tee-hee!

Placing my hands in Marilyn Monroe’s provocative prints & what a perfect fit it is! XOs ;-x

I remember when I was two, and he sang that song about beautiful people. [Ed. Note: I now feel old as shit.] We were both born boys. Frown frown :(

Wrapping myself up inside of this lovely late night as my delicate loved ones joyously join me in sweet conjunction; Family is Bliss! ;-x

Dad showed up and told Doug he has to share. Harumph!

As I slip on my sexy mini-skirt my taunting mind takes flight into an intimate world of wondrous imagination. Whats your Friday Fantasy? ;-)

Doug spends a lot of time sleeping. And eating oatmeal. Do you think he’ll die soon?

Nothing feels sexier than wearing the beautiful truth.

Just kidding! I’m a luxurious buxomy lady lynx luxuriating her lusciousness into lusty liaisons!

The sultry scent of my pink-sugary, cotton-candy bod is purely provocative & pleasing. So glad that it satisfied everyone tonight… ;-) XOs

Notice how I used the word “everyone.” Dad came over again. Womp womp.

Rolling playfully on top of a white feathery fur rug as the strings of my garter swing around my thighs & whip me! *Tuesdays are Tingly! ;-x

And Mondays are mongly! YAY!

Hovering over the scintillating city of Los Angeles on my beautiful balcony while wearing a white loose blouse & luxurious lace stockings!

A stray police car pulls up to the house and tells me to put my child tits away from the cold, cool night. Doug tells him to mind his own business, and I feel myself warming in places I never knew exist- FUCK! I left this heating pad on.

Preparing the most pleasant plate of pasta in absolutely nothing but my plush peek ‘a boo panties! Mmm… it tastes like perfection! ;-) XOs

I gave the delivery boy a boner. GROSS!

Saturated within a superb Sunday as Gods love beams brightly! “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear … ” 1 John 4:18

Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop for a minute. Did she just quote Scripture? Then again, the Bible does love it some child marrying. Carry on!

Lubricating my limber legs with a creamy lotion that electrifies my luminescent captivation, lustrously. It’s Slippery Saturday! XOs! ;-)

Note to Self: Doug doesn’t like it when I cover the stairs in lube when he was gone. Something about his “sky-attica.” Old people talk funny.

This has been The Annotated Ramblings of Courtney Stodden-Hutchinson.

Photo: Twitter

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.

superficial

  1. nnkauff

    So………. I feel obligated to point out this is clearly ghostwritten by a 48-year-old dude with failed literary ambitions. No one thinks she actually wrote this, right?

    • aristotrash

      Why? Because it’s so literature? Are you kidding me? My pug could write this. Of course she wrote it. Yeah, she uses spellchecker and is abusing the shit out of her thesaurus, but I have no doubt that anyone but her wrote this crap.

    • Winnie

      Yuh, its like an idiot with an online dictionary. The majority of these words are being used out of context and to ridiculous affect. This is what it looks like when someone is trying to be intelligent, but doesn’t actually get how ludicrous it sounds.

  2. Burt

    As I was saying a couple of weeks ago: she’s failing miserably at imitating Marylin Monroe. I’ve seen middle-aged drag queens do a more convincing impression.

  3. Tati

    nice use of alliteration…. NOT.

  4. There seems to be a squadron of people here who don’t approve of Courtney Stodden. Understandable to a certain point. But just a reminder: just as you can turn the channel on your tv set, you can also turn the page, or move on to a different webpage, in books, magazines, or on computer screens.

    If you don’t like reading her tweets or reading articles about her, then DON’T FUCKING READ THEM! There are no rules that say you have to peruse everything that’s put in front of you. This is a free country. You are free to ignore that which rubs you the wrong way.

    But that’s just my opinion; I could be wrong.

  5. katinka

    Future poet laureate?

  6. Cock Dr

    I would have much preferred the daily dose of “Crap We Missed”.

  7. gageymama

    Sure that’s not a drag queen?

  8. JJ

    Her father must be so proud of the job he did with her!!

  9. jrb

    Her twitter feed is officially the saddest thing any human being can masturbate to.

  10. Jessie

    Okay, so… if anyone thinks this girl ACTUALLY wrote any of these tweets, I am amazed at your stupidity. They hired a publicist to plan out all of this weird shit for them and help them come up with these dumb tweets to promote themselves for their reality TV show. And then the dumbass tweets are re-posted on sites like these, and then people are so grossed out that they watch the reality show. Uhh, PR 101 guys.

  11. WHOCARES

    What an uneducated idiot. She makes all the other celebutards seem like literary masterminds. She needs to drop the ho outfits and get back into 7th grade…PRONTO!

  12. Jess

    This bitch loves adjectives

  13. J

    “Nutcracker”. Okay.

  14. jmort

    Holy shit. I just figured out who Doug Hutchison is: the guy who plays the part-animal mutant on the X-files that never speaks and sucks people’s insides out and lives under the city in a sewer where he tries to spawn but always fails. This all makes perfect sense now.

  15. aristotrash

    Someone needs to confiscate her thesaurus stat

  16. oh i know

    this is pure gold!! fish, please post more of this twit’s twitters!

  17. Keni

    i bet i know her favorite kind of dinosaur! ………. a Thesaurus hahahahaha

  18. Just sayin....

    Does anyone else think she looks like the gross witch from Robin Hood: Men in Tights?

  19. Bojac

    It’s like someone filtered Matsuo Basho through Lindsey Lohan’s mind.

  20. Winnie

    She frightens me when she makes that face. Doug too I’m betting.

  21. latrine

    [image]http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT2PK_7WBgvl3A4IJJovz5ZuBD0dhU13ioHEx_5g1E3pYfbeSUUbj6ZeyJ_2g[/image]
    Latrine, is that you?!

  22. RWFB

    I’m pretty sure she uses those fridge-magnet poetry sets to construct her tweets.

  23. Reece

    For some reason I dont think shes even posting these tweets herself. There are programs online that will automatically post tweets for you. Clearly she has it set to the “LitErotica” setting…This girl is a joke. I dont think TLC has room in their lineup for another pedophile geared show so I dont really know what this girl or her parents are expecting to get out of this exposure .

  24. Courtney Stodden Marilyn Monroe
    siggo
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is this person?

  25. AllEyes

    Dead Man. Dead Man Walkin’.

  26. Debzilla

    Just an FYI – Waste of Space, I mean Courtney is not at Marilyn Monroe’s grave, she is in fact, crouching at Grauman’s Theatre’s famous forecourt which features the handprint of actors dating back to the 1920s.

  27. Jinxy

    My theory is Doug and the Mom are lovers and he’s just getting meth mouth a career start, because God knows she has no real talent. This is more of a nasty step Dad relationship than anything else, with mama Stodden a pale imitation of Kris Jenner getting boned by a scary faced has been actor. And yes, she’s a retard. Now she’s a retard who dropped out of high school in the 10th grade and this is what passes for sexy in the Adelaide set.

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