Courtney Stodden Will Pretend Her Sex Tape Was Stolen Now

“So everyone will fall for it and selling rubber molds of my vagina won’t be suspicious? Ohmygod, thank you so much, Farrah.”

We’re the top search result for Courtney Stodden sex tape, so why stop milking sweet Internet Google while the plastic teat’s still swollen for the pickin’? is something I actually think farmers say. You’ll never convince me otherwise, so don’t even try. Fishwrapper reports:

Courtney Stodden is mad as hell … and she’s so adamant against having her solo sex tape released to the public that she’s sicced an attorney on Vivid Entertainment’s CEO, Steve Hirsch, in an attempt to stop any distribution of her tape … which totally exists.
Stodden lawyered up and sent the following C&D to Vivid … stating that Vivid is to immediately drop Courtney’s tape like a hot potato, and refrain from ever mentioning it again.

Of course, everyone knows Courtney Stodden shopped the sex tape herself because you can’t pay your rent just by having giant cartoon breasts in Obama’s America, but apparently there’s an unwritten rule that you can’t release a sex tape without pretending it was “leaked.” Which is especially odd in this case because Courtney Stodden’s the only one in it, so who the fuck leaked it? Her other hand? “You guys, my right hand totally didn’t have permission from my left to sell this super private tape, and I’m like super hurt, but I guess I’ll just have to take all of this money and finish filming the sequel. #StrengthYall

Photo: Instagram