With Merv Griffin Entertainment producing Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison‘s reality show because apparently their marriage WASN’T about a love as pure as a man purchasing a child bride in the driven snow – *throws stuffed animal across room, curses God* – all they need now is a network to pick up the pilot, so naturally they went straight to MTV (above). And if they somehow don’t snatch it up, I’ll be surprised if at bare minimum they don’t offer Courtney a spot on next season’s Teen Mom. “We think you’d be perfect in keeping with our theme of really glamorizing the fuck out of irresponsibly bringing a child into the world then watching it never stand a chance at a normal, healthy life. And if you’re concerned about the old man shooting blanks – No offense, Doug. – just give me a ring because we’re still mopping up the Jersey Shore house, so God knows we’ve got bags of the shit. In fact, tell you what I’ll do – *presses intercom* – Could you send Snooki in? I need her to stand over a bucket for a few mins. — Then go to the store and buy more pickles to lure her in. Jesus.”
Photos: GSI Media
Where are they? What is the weather like?
She’s in LA, he’s in Chicago.
Looks like May and November to me.
She is an ex-stripper booted to daytime prostitution around the corner of a crack house, he is a blind man who thinks it is 11 at night.
She is a cartoon character come to life. At least Jessica Rabit had class.
^These were too funny.
/+1 Internets
WHO THE HELL ARE THESE UGLY CREATURES NOW?!!!
He was on “Lost” but for the life of me I don’t remember him at all.
And I was a huge fan of the show.
Anyone?
He played Horace, the leader of the Dharma Initiative.
He was also the sadistic prison guard in “The Green Mile” and “Mr. Tooms” on the X-Files.
Hilarious!
If she’s 17, I’m a fucking fairy princess…
I don’t know when 40 started passing for 17….
Yeah, she’s pretty weathered for a “17 year old”.
Right, she isn’t even trying to look seventeen any more.
no way shes 17, she doesnt even look 30…maybe 40 trying to look 20…but yeah wow, and mans es really short,lol
i believe it’s her IQ that is 17, not her age. have you ever heard her speak and watch her when someone else is talking. it’s like she’s got tourettes. she’s pretty gross whatever age she is. PS. this relationship is not going to work.
Her face is pushing 40. Leading a hard life.
“Hey man, how much for 30 minutes?”
“Fifty bucks…whoa whoa, don’t give me the money, pay the lady.”
LOL
EXACTLY what I was thinking.
People will only watch this shit out of morbid curiosity, no ? And to find yet more evidence that’s she’s about as “17″ as Jenna Jameson is. It’ll be about as stimulating as staring at exposed brick. To me it’s just a bad fucking comedy routine. Can’t this whore ever dress normally ?
And to feel better about themselves. That’s a big part of the dynamic behind these reality shows: showing people so dysfunctional, moronic, or trashy that people tune in to feel superior no matter how humdrum or unfulfilled they might otherwise feel their lives are.
And this is true even of some of the better reality shows, like Hoarders. “Honey, you think I’M a pack rat? Check out this lady’s house, stuffed to the gills with junk and trash. Suddenly my ‘hubcap collection’ in the garage doesn’t seem so bad.”
Yeah, God forbid people could feel better about themselves by learning a new skill, or a language, or doing something productive and useful…better to sit on the couch, shoveling “food” into their fat faces and laughing at people who really should be ignored or at least helped in some way. And we wonder why this country is a shit hole circling the drain.
Yes I know I sound like a douche, but seriously. That kind of mindset is as deserving of pity and derision as this stank ho and her pimp. I REAALLLLY hope she’s not 17……
Thanks for that visual of Snookie… I am going to search for a rope and a stool… (Carves “Topher was here”)
These two are the definition of “trying too hard.”
This guy has got to stop trying so hard to look “cool”.
I used to data an Asian girl that dressed like that (she was a stripper, go figure) and I couldnt even go to Best Buy without almost getting in a fight with dudes.
i can relate. i dated an asian who dressed like a stripper. did urs happen to be a nun previously too? we should have a beer when my band’s in phila
You guys are totally gay for each other…..
LOL, that’s a love that’ll never happen (it’s a giants-eagles thing)
lmao.
I dont meet men off the “internets”, Dude, no offense!
Dude, I’ll throw you panties when your band is in Dallas. Not MY panties, of course. Just random panties.
Dude: If you ever play in NYC, let me know. I’ll be the one waving a cigarette lighter and yelling out, “Freebird!”
giants fans are twinks, eagles fans are power-bottoms
nice one kimmy, the tom jones effect. sure, long as they smell like mahi mahi..
Now, come on, man. You knew she dressed like a whore, and I’m guessing you banged her like a whore. Why get in fights to defend whore honor? Just take the $20 and put her little Asian ass to work.
Best Buy? Never really thought of that store as a nest of hormones.
You kidding? All those guys into electronics, dvds and games. There’s even a Geek Squad! LOL For some reason, I get hit on the most at Best Buy and The Container Store. I know there’s a joke in there somewhere. LOL
Wait, you’re a chick, MJB? I have to go back and re-read all your comments now with that in mind.
TomFrank: I never hid that I was a chick. *hums theme to The Crying Game* Besides, I saw you offer a pair of heels to kimmykimkim in another post. *fluffs curly hair and bats eyelashes coyly* I’m a size 8 regular or 8 1/2 narrow, btw ;)
Doug Hutchison’s head is down in Embarrassment and Shame. Apparently reality is starting to set in.
she looks like a freaking 40 year old prostitute. tore up from the floor up.
I bet she’s fun to bang. Like a body-temperature sex doll. Actually, EXACTLY like a body-temperature sex doll.
They still make bras with clear straps? I’m pretty sure strapless bras have been around for quite a while. I think the clear straps look trashier than just wearing a regular bra and having the straps show. ew. /bra rant
She didn’t want to wear a strapless because then you wouldn’t see cleavage at the top of the dress and her fake ass boobs would sag. So in her mind clear straps on a normal bra is obviously a winning combo…
She pads her bra like CRAZY, they’re gel inserts and stuff…So, if she doesnt have straps, the bra will just slide down her chest with the weight of the inserts.
Exactly, clear bra straps are trashier. She knows her target demographic, and they are fans of trash.
She obliviously has fake boobies, and you can tell by the way they are so round at the top where the implants are being pushed up by duct tape.
Her boobs are not implants, she just stuffs her bra. I don’t think she has had surgery but i also don’t think her boobs are naturally large.
This chick has her chest pushed out and arms and shoulders pulled back as far as possible in every pic she’d had taken. She has to be one of the most self aware attention seeking whores I’ve ever seen.
yes, it’s called the “teeth, tits and toes” pose! All whores have it!
Apparently Dougie didn’t read the memo about wearing a cheap raincoat when you hang out with strippers.
I heard they’re both sponsored by Sears.
Do you think they fight over the makeup in that house? He looks more and more fem every time I see a picture of him. Also, why is her mom always with them? thats kinda strange/creepy.
Maybe she makes him swap with her Mom half way through after he’s all revved up
Mom has to tag along until she is 18.
Maybe he’s really married to her mother.
all three of those people are the same age.
+50+
I feel so sorry for this girl. Whatever combination of childhood abuse/neglect, drugs, poor living habits, and late night strap-on sex with her butch dyke husband have left her looking ROUGH. I’m about ten years older than her and I still get carded for alcohol and clubs. This chick looks like she lives in damn Cougarville.
aww look he’s trotting his escort around like she’s a real person. might even wine and dine her first. and they say chivalry is dead.
She is not even attractive. YUCK
Forget Obama’s birth certificate, I’d like to see hers. This chick has got to be at least 30
no 30 still looks young go look at kristen bell.
i agree
there is no way her birth certificate has not been tampered with
Disgusting creatures.
For some reason I find this whole situation absolutely hilarious.
Faker-Than-Barbie-Plastic-Thing meets Zombie Corey Feldman. Too soon?
No, b/c it was Corey Haim who died. *shudders in horror at knowing the difference*
No, the Corey confusion is worse. Must rename my halloween costume.
OMG, he totally looks like Corey Haim in these pics! Yikes.
To me the mom is hotter than the “girl.”
no one can convince me she’s younger than 40.
The Christian Community has nothing to say about this good “Christian Girl”? The make-up and hair, do make her look older but in some shots it’s clear she is a kid. Her mom is the monster in this.
ummmm, are you blind???? HELLO>>>>> just the mother??? Well, if in fact WHORTNEY was just 17 (which most of us with 1/2 a brain can see is not the case), the what does that make Doug????? A SICK pervert!
She looks like a hooker and he looks like he is in a boy band from the 90′s.
Nice….
I am rooting for her to take over from the Kardashians and the Jersey Shore idiots, just so I never have to see them again.
She could have been a knock out if she hadn’t destroyed herself…
Gosh, I haven’t seen a couple this elegant since I watched Pam Anderson’s sex tape.
lol
Judging by that thin gaping mouth… imagine the mess of a vag it’s got going. Think beef jerky but more fishy goodness.
DAmn I’ wanna squirt my load in her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
most dogs do!
can someone explain what is going on his her chest area? it looks as though she’s trying to create some serious cleavage but isn’t working with much. then she’s got something hiding under her tube top. maybe several pairs of chicken cutlets? it just doesn’t look right.
For starters, I don’t think the implants have completely dropped yet; it’s a relatively young boob-job, and they were placed a little too high. It’s like she tries way too hard to keep them in place, and they look painful and uncomfortable. I guess they need extra support or something because the implants she picked are way too large … it ended up just looking gross and moronic.
It looks like she has on a push up bra with clear straps and then a strapless padded bra on top of it. This chick has like two layers of boobs. Both of them fake. ……..and how far away did they have to park from the MTV office? A mile?
Bet the first thing she thought of walking into MTV was uuuuu if this works out i can buy me a nice pair of silicone boobies, not have to wear these triple layered chicken breasts
grandma looks hawt
She should get together with Shauna Sand and trade clear clothing items.
This chick looks like Julianne Hough’s long-lost trailer-park evil twin. There’s no way this thing is younger than 40.
I know this is probably awful of me, but I’m a 19-year-old and I’m jealous of her body. Not the fake boobs, but the long slender legs. I’m shorter and thin, but man! I wish I had those legs.
You really need to go and visit a psychiatrist ASAP.
Nah, you don’t. But you’re just seeing the “best” part of her legs. Here, this will make you feel better:
http://www.thesuperficial.com/courtney-stodden-bikini-doug-hutchinson-part-1-10-2011/1003-courtney-stodden-bikini-38
Everybody complains about these two. First off, if he was doing anything illegal the authorities would already have been on him. The fact is their relationship and marriage is perfectly legal!!! So why the anger?
For the love God…Hugh Hefner has been doing the same thing for the last fifty years and yet none of you condemn him. And please, don’t say they were all over eighteen. As I remember that was disproved a long time ago.
And on that thought — Does Courtney have a twin sister?
I almost forgot…What about John and Bo Derek…Yeah, you fool idiots don’t have an answer for that one either, do you?
Let’s face it. Most of you are fat lonely losers living in your unhappy worlds and in this day and age you vent your anger and hatred of yourselves on websites like this one.
Doug Hutchison – have I told you recently that you are my hero!!!
Thanks for informing us you f-ing troll.
At Least Hef could keep his bitches mouths shut. The worst thing about this sad waste of skin is her retarded interviews.
“Hugh Hefner has been doing the same thing for the last fifty years and yet none of you condemn him.”
Where did you get that idea? Hef is a pitiful, disgusting, squelchy, flaccid little loser. He is too pitiful to hate, but still should not exist in an enlightened world.
Ditto.
wassup, old man Hutchinson!
What are those marks on her arm?
If it’s even possible, they look like a more low-rent Midwestern version of Ice-T and Coco. He’s trying to be all scowly and tough with the Kangol hat and leather jacket. And she’s just a typical blonde ho.
Fashion from late 90′s, I lived in Hollywood long enough to she got her sexxxxxxy outfit on Hollywood Blvd, the slutty what ever store. No really…. most likely playmates which sells the cheapest clothing at 50% more than you should spend. I’m sure she thinks she pure class
This whole thing is just weird.
Those two are married now, so I think the “mom” can stop chaperoning.
This stupid cooze of a mother has the nerve to wear a cross around her neck after the lies she perpetuates ? That woman has been through menopause … as in late 40′s/early 50′s … daughter is waaay older than 17, but I think everyone knows what a lying ho-bag she is by now, right ?
ya think??? SHHH, don’t Tell Doug! LOL
He’s obviously retarded to be going along with all this horseshit.
That is klassy with a capital “k” right there.
Even the way she is carrying that purse looks phoney.
I’d like to see Shia and him in a fight. How awesome would that be?
Tis be pure awesome ha!
Fake tits. She stuff/pads her push up bra. You see fake cleavge on the top, then it suddenly HANGS on the bottom? Anyone see what I’m talking about?
yes, and i still cannot believe she tries to claim they’re real. you can tell simply by looking at the top of them that theyre implants. real boobs do not round out at the top like hers, they are teardrop shaped not round. why do i know this?? cause i have implants haha( and my dads a plastic surgeon)
Her breasts are not implants, she stuffs her bra.
Until there’s proof she poops, ROBOT!
Wow, I didn’t read the story, but just clicked on the pic to come post that she is a fucking robot. She’s a robot who picked a few attributes that humans supposedly find attractive and cobbled them together into a repulsive stack of shit.
could be true, I suppose I’d rather believe that, then believe that a woman of today’s world, still finds it necessary to have no self-respect and pose as a 17 yr old, have professional pics taken every time she’s dressed up (okay, like a tramp)….why not just get a real job, laying on your back is easy….yeah, I would much rather believe she’s a robot! LOL
i know these are the least of her problems, but will someone please buy that little girl some foundation that matches her fake tan and a strapless bra?
what about her lipstick?