[Ed. Note: These are all entirely different photos from the other day because she posed for roughly 500,000 of them. Shocking, I know.]
If you’re like me and a lover of America and all the freedom it affords, you probably haven’t been able to sleep since finding out Courtney Stodden was kicked out of a pumpkin patch for practicing her barely legal love of Doug Hutchison and all the taint showing that’s entitled to under the Constitution. So who could’ve committed such a heinous crime against liberty? Turns out it’s moms. Those jealous, jealous moms. Via E! News:
“The dads loved it!” she exclaimed. Hutchison agreed, but put a more kid-friendly spin on what went down.
“There were a lot of people who wanted to take pictures with us,” he said, “and we overheard a dad say to his little girl, ‘Oh look, honey, they have a pumpkin-patch girl this year.’” (Nice save, mystery dad!)
Hutchison continued, “A lot of the kids thought she was a pumpkin-patch princess and there was a handful of concerned moms who went to the owners and said, ‘Get her out.’”
“OMGZ! This is Facebook all over again!! I just wanted to trolloply trance through tilted tangles of tantalizing pumpkins while tittily tumbling Doug’s tawdry testicles in a tight teddy that tickles my turgid tan tomatoes. – Ezekiel 12:13″
Photos: GSI Media
The weirdest part about this whole thing for me, is the fact that a pumpkin patch has security.
If only that were an anvil.
Scoliosis is not a laughing matter. It’s sexy as fuck though.
Uhh how? I had scoliosis surgery
Is that a nipple, or weird shadows and wishful thinking?
YOU WOULD STILL HAVE SEX WITH HER
Did I do that right?
Hah! she’s totally beaving the scare-Kim.
I really wish you would stop posting so much about her and Doug…don’t give people a reason to care about them. They just need to go away, they creep me out.
so true Trixxie!! They do need to go away forever! No one will watch the reality show of her or him…both losers!
Your opinions are about as awesome as your flat toned stomachs, and amazing cleavage.
And by awesome, I mean complete and utter garbage.
there’s no way that that’s 16
I guess I’m not the norm, but I absolutely love this chick!!!! She is a train wreck and I can’t stop looking at her. She’s young and dumb.
Fuck Im out of tissues…paper towels it is.
I’m surprised she doesn’t blend in with the pumpkins more…
haha you can see all the tanner build-up in her belly button. or is it old semen?
disgusting whore. she looks about as 17 as george burns.
and she has those scrawny bird legs that should never be shown off.
throw in the disgusting orange skin and this is just fucking gross!
really?
everything about her is trying to hard.
Hey, you know what’s awesome, is that she’s PERFORMING sexuality without (probably) having experienced it. I doubt she feels like she’s pretty and amazing. I doubt she’s really had a chance to develop her own sexual menu- what SHE likes. I see her as a puppet. She’s doing what men like, but what does SHE like? She’s a parody of sexuality- going through the motions without feeling any of it. And sure, guys will fuck her. Yeah. Of course. But guys will fuck a watermelon. What gets HER off? I don’t think she knows . . .
Who cares? ,,,,,ami right, fellas?
Well, then die alone in your duplex with your Xbox and a stiff gym sock. Prick.
Courtney Stodden is actually a RealDoll
Pumpkins have peepers… peepers to watch, watch for a moment of weakness and then BAFF on the head and you’re down!
“WE have to go? It’s not OUR fault if men are ogling my wife—and she’s only 17, for chrissakes! Why don’t you kick THEM out for being pervs?”
“Okay, so you stand there like that, I’ll put this pumpkin on your head, and then I’ll knock it off with a gunshot at 120 paces. Yes, a gun. We’ve been over this. It’s the 21st century, honey; people don’t use bows and arrows anymore.”
Oh, thats funny!
It’s not quite the perfect storm of famewhory, but it’s close.
Jesus Christ, I can tolerate a lot, but come the fuck on! If I was a mom there with my children I’d be terrified that they were gonna start filming porn right there on the pumpkins. You notice how everyone’s turned away from them? Yeah, that’s a good sign YOU’RE MAKING EVERYONE UNCOMFORTABLE. But what’s the standard douchebag, fucktard response to that? “I don’t care what people think.”
Yeah, even the poor little children who know what they’ve seen is wrong.
Scratch that “who” out of the last sentence.
You know, I’d respect her more if she’d just do porn then act decent in public.
Exactly. Who dresses like a porn star, grabbing her tits at a pumpkin patch geared towards kids and family? She IS a fucktard.
Ha ha! This is my vir-gin-a! Did I get it right, Dougie?
I was thinking of wearing an outfilt like that to go pumpkin picking. : /
Isn’t this child porn?
I would have kicked her skanky ass out of there too. There is a time and place to dress sexy… and a pumpkin patch is not one of them. Sure, if you’ve got it, flaunt it, but she is so delusioned on what sexy truly is.
1994 called, they would like their outfit off of her. Its giving them a bad name.
In this picture especially, she looks mentally challenged.
Why does she walk like that? Sorry but it looks like she is trying to walk with something stuck up her ass.
really looking hot and sexy.
http://buyhghextreme.com/
nasty bitch. you’re in public, at a family-friendly place for chrissakes. makes me sick.
She looks like an ORANGE trailer park Daisy May and he looks like Bubba the old perv who sits in his trailer scratching his gut, waiting for his beer. Eww…pure white trash. Her parents are pathetic.
Her outfit! WTF? These people are nasty and they look like they smell!
Wish someone would just shoot this dumbass already
It’s all good. We’re news!!! Idiots.
“I swear to god, if she doesn’t stop doing that duck face, I am gonna squash her with this squash!”
“Ahhh…I love the smell of anal bleach cream first thing in the morning…”
And then they claimed the DADS loved it, but the moms were just jealous??? Yeah, sorry, you have to be 18 to go to a strip club, we don’t want a free peep show for our KIDS while we’re picking out a freaking PUMPKIN, you fucking idiots! They should have been arrested, not just thrown out. See how ‘jelly’ the judge will be!
Gee, I thought the men were LOVING the show? Those don’t look like jealous housefraus to ME!
That’s the most clothing she’s had on all month!
“This pumpkin is about the same size as your head…but it has a lot more intelligence in it…”
“Oh, magic 8 ball, will I ever be a famous actress?”
“Lookee! I picked an orange all by myself! I love California!”
Gee, why would ANYONE be offended by THIS out in public? Some ephebophile and his teen bride? Humbert Humbert, anyone?
Yeah, can’t see why anyone would be offended…um…
Just a pair of melons in a pumpkin patch.
lol why the f*ck is she standing/walking like that? Every photo is a pose.. what an idiot
lol it already looks like she has skin cancer on her chest..
who is she posing for? who are taking these pictures?
Ok, I was giving her the benefit of the doubt until I saw this one. Gross, she just loves to shove her cootchie in everyone’s face. Why? I’d be so embarrassed if I were that guy. Little Tommy should not be educated this way!!