Courtney Stodden Kicked Out of Pumpkin Patch Cuz Ur Mom’s Jelly

October 27th, 2011 // 179 Comments

[Ed. Note: These are all entirely different photos from the other day because she posed for roughly 500,000 of them. Shocking, I know.]

If you’re like me and a lover of America and all the freedom it affords, you probably haven’t been able to sleep since finding out Courtney Stodden was kicked out of a pumpkin patch for practicing her barely legal love of Doug Hutchison and all the taint showing that’s entitled to under the Constitution. So who could’ve committed such a heinous crime against liberty? Turns out it’s moms. Those jealous, jealous moms. Via E! News:

“The dads loved it!” she exclaimed. Hutchison agreed, but put a more kid-friendly spin on what went down.
“There were a lot of people who wanted to take pictures with us,” he said, “and we overheard a dad say to his little girl, ‘Oh look, honey, they have a pumpkin-patch girl this year.’” (Nice save, mystery dad!)
Hutchison continued, “A lot of the kids thought she was a pumpkin-patch princess and there was a handful of concerned moms who went to the owners and said, ‘Get her out.’”

“OMGZ! This is Facebook all over again!! I just wanted to trolloply trance through tilted tangles of tantalizing pumpkins while tittily tumbling Doug’s tawdry testicles in a tight teddy that tickles my turgid tan tomatoes. – Ezekiel 12:13″

Photos: GSI Media


  1. What a clueless twit. She has zero concept of what is attractive and is so deluded into thinking men are into her and women are jealous of her. She needs a wakeup call-spray tan, frosted lipstick, overly hairsprayed hair and white plastic platform boots do not, an attractive woman make.

  2. God is Black

    Every week there’s pictures of this Shank! Me thinks Fish wants to fuck her hard!

    • Parker

      Yes lots of pictures but oddly, never a picture of her bent over. Why is that? Doesn’t she like anal sex? What kind of woman doesn’t like anal?

  3. Richard McBeef

    Surely there is a pumpkin there large enough to fit her head inside.

  4. FishBone

    who wears gloves to a fake pumpkin patch? or a real pumpkin patch? He obviously isn’t afraid of dirty things. smiley ; )

  5. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the kids cain’t make a jackerlantern out of those. I’mma go with the punkins.”

  6. Really?

    Get your plastic, orange skank-ho outta here, Grandpa!

  7. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what you get for stomping on Mr Jingles

  8. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    What pathetic losers would get kicked out of a PUMPKIN PATCH, for pity’s sake??? ,,, Oh, wait; never mind ….

  9. HAHahahahAHAHA!!!!

    What pathetic losers would get kicked out of a PUMPKIN PATCH, for pity’s sake??? ,,, Oh, wait; never mind ….

  10. Everyone hates this chick but you got to be a homo if you wouldn’t fuck the shit out of her….. more importantly…..Is that pumpkin patch in WATTS???? Since when is there security at a pumpkin patch?

    • Deacon Jones

      I agree.

      I cant wait till she does a porno, she’d be really good at it – she’s so eager to please.

    • I’d fuck the shit out of your wrinkly old gramma…because I have a penis and at least half a bottle of bourbon left. Does that validate your dusty old gram’s value as a person, or does it mean that dudes will masturbate inside any random vagina given the chance?

      Seriously, it’s damn near 2012…can we be done with this “you’re haters…but you know you’d fuck her” shit? In fact, I’m laying claim to this whole meme “Godwins Law” style.

      Henceforth, I declare it a necessity of universal truth that any internet discourse involving critical analysis of the societal value of a given female shall with absolute certainty gravitate towards an inevitable declaration of “oh yeah, well you’d fuck her”. The individual making the aforementioned declaration shall universally be recognized as having lost the current “battle of the internets” and heaped with scorn and shame.

      So sayeth McFeely’s Law.

      • That Was Awesome

        That was awesome.

      • kimmykimkim

        Feely, I’m too sober to make sense of anything you just typed. But I still love it. So…wanna make out, or what? Maybe later? Ok, that’s cool, I’m really busy too. So busy.

      • DogBoy

        You’d heap the scorn and shame on that dude… but you know you’d fuck him.

      • Deacon Jones

        lol, exactly!

      • McFeely, I’m with Kimmy, it’s awesome but I have no clue what you just said. You sir, would make a great lawyer if you are not already in the field.

      • Hence the homo part

      • For those of you whom this is TLDR, here’s the breakdown of the thread so far.

        RobM: “Every hates her but would still fuck her.”
        McFeely: “McFeely’s law”
        RobM: “You’d still fuck her.”

        You know, Michelle Buchanan should use McFeely’s law at the debates.
        Cain: “Michelle knows nothing about economics”
        Perry: “Michelle knows nothing about politics”
        Paul: “Michelle knows nothing about diplomatic relations”
        Gingrich: “Michelle knows nothing”
        Michelle Buchanan: “You’d all fuck me.”

        Debate over.

    • Venom

      Hell yeah I would fuck her. She is like a combination of a skanky stripper/hooker/pornstar so she would probably be freaky and amazing in bed, do every and anything and probably have a girlfriend join in also.

      That creepy little Hutchinson is having the time of his life. I bet Ashton wishes he had banged this chick instead. On another note, how the hell has she not been recruited by Charlie Sheen yet?

      • Feely… so if you’re saying if you had NO idea who this girl was and she hit you up, you would blow her off? You’re a fucking liar or to my point….a homo. Nuff said.

      • Robm78, the fact that you can’t conceive of the notion of having sex with a chick you have complete and utter contempt for tells me you’re either a virgin, or are a woman.

        Either way, are you going to scorn and ridicule yourself, or do I have to do that too? It’s not that I want to…it’s the law.

  11. Snack pack

    All I gotta say is check out the Courtney Stodden parody on the Soup (a show on the E! Channel, but you might also be able to find it on YouTube). Might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I think it is hilarious.

  12. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    just here for laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof that all sense of moral decency does not exist with these two.

    • Jack Ketch

      You needed proof ?? lol They’re already bigger liars than the Lohans and Kardashians … if that’s even possible.

  13. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t you know what kid gloves are for?”

  14. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    That is NOT a 17 year-old ass.

    • Anon

      Why not? It’s small and perky and whatnot. If you’re referring to the tiny “dimple” under her butt, a ton of girls have it. No how matter how slim and fit a girl may be, the truth is that in a woman, fat stores itself in the thighs. Maybe you’ve just been jaded by Photoshop. I love butt dimples.

      Anyway, this girl is a ho.

    • Karl

      it looks like a 40 year old whose goes to the gyms ass.

  15. TRON

    She has filled the hole in my heart that Heidi and Spencer left when they died.

  16. Carles

    She’s pretty hot.

  17. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:


  18. Amy

    She’s got such a cute little shape…if she would just fix her teeth, nix the bizarre cougar voice and laugh, kill the frosted lipstick and hair, go easy on the spray tans, and stop airbrushing her abs and cleavage. I think she could actually get taken more seriously as a blatant famewhore if she just toned it down a bit.

  19. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoops! Looks like someone forgot to spray on the six back before leaving the house this morning.

  20. Buddy the Elf

    Not sure which of them is more disgusting.
    And sadly, I’m thinking her.

  21. Rough's global initiative

    This wannabe was way more attractive before she joined ‘Panic at Hollywood’. All the hoopla must be about the age. She look like one of them club floozies.

  22. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    This nasty is throwing her her chest out so far (in most pics) that her chin is a foot behind her bellybutton. She throws her shoulders back so far that I’m surprised she hasn’t injured herself yet….but I can hope.

  23. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    no ass…wheres the beef?

    • Any Guy

      exactly. doesn’t matter what age she is, she has NO ass. way to show off your chicken ass in Daisy Dukes. ULTRA-fail.

  24. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    I live in Valencia and I so wish I had been there. I bet she looks even more hilarious in person.

  25. nyx

    It’s a game, right? “One of these orange things is not like the others.”

  26. Cardinal Ximenez

    Please lord, send this c0ck toy straight to the porn world. I beg of you. My downloads await…

  27. kimmykimkim

    Damn, Fish, that last part is motherfucking gold. I love you, ya bastid!

  28. Law question for you.

    If she is 16 and married and then has sex with another man is that other man guilty of having sex with an underage minor? Does the underage married girl/woman give away her “underage” status when she gets married?

    Just wondering. I have plenty of time down here at the day care facility I work at as a security guard.

    • TomFrank

      I can’t answer this question, but you should at least be sure that the state/country in which this hypothetical situation is taking place has an age-of-consent law of 17 or 18. Because if it’s in one of the 29 American states, or most of the entire rest of the world, that 16-year-old isn’t “underage” under the law.

    • Venom

      In my state 17 i 100% legal and 16 is too with parental consent (I verified it with my police officer friends just to be certain). I know a guy that met his wife when she was in high school and he was in his late 20′s knocked her up and got married to her and nothing ever happened to him. They are still married to this day. That is all irrelevant though because everyone still thinks you are a pedophile.

    • Almost every state has an exemption to their child sex laws to the effect of “…and is not married to”

      That being said, 16 is legal age of consent in my state.

      • TomFrank

        I don’t think that exemption was meant to apply to third parties in adulterous or polyamorous liaisons.

        But, hey, how about someone here fly to California, where the age of consent is otherwise 18, nail Courtney—consensually, remember—and give himself up for arrest? It would make for an interesting test case, and we’d all have a lot of fun watching your trial. And you could take what you’ve learned here over the years and parlay your newfound fame into money-making bullshit stardom. Win-win!

  29. BeckyS

    Wait, where is she? Her skin is blending in with all the pumpkins…

  30. Rough's global initiative

    Im bungling the saying, its ‘Panic at Hollywood Park’ I need to samurai a shadow’ finger.

  31. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like her nipple is showing in this photo?

  32. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    Her nipple is showing in one of the photos and her areola is visible in several others. The fact she was showing her nipples to children seems like a perfectly valid reason to kick her ass out!

  33. SisterRay

    “I just wanted to trolloply trance through tilted tangles of tantalizing pumpkins while tittily tumbling Doug’s tawdry testicles in a tight teddy that tickles my turgid tan tomatoes”

    Fish. I love you.

  34. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    She ditched the rest of the Princess Leia costume when she realized it wouldn’t flash any cleavage.

  35. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    video of this would have been more funny.

  36. Eddie

    I’m guessing that since you can see her nipples in a few of these photos that she should have been kicked out. The fact that her nipple is visible is probably why the “dads” enjoyed having her there.

  37. cc

    I’d love it if she was squashed.

  38. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    The fact that her skin looks tight and there is no cellulite leads me to believe that her age might be close to what she claims.

  39. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come at me bro!”

  40. D-chi

    I. Died.

  41. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s finally going to put her out of her misery.

  42. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like they’re shopping for her next round of implants.

  43. Dick Fitzwell

    This chick’s face is DISGUSTING. Why is she even remotely famous. There are hotter girls working at Starbucks in L.A…. Seriously, why keep posting pictures of this person..

  44. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    “For 20 bucks I’ll let you smell it.”

    • Beth

      This girl needs to stop with all the bedroom poses, she looks like she’s trying to live a playmate/stripper/pornstar fantasy or something? Very disturbing? Seriously wear something that shows you have respect for yourself because no one is going to take you seriously dressed like that?!

  45. Bernadette

    I don’t know what to say, but her whore custom scares me to death.

  46. Canuckcutie

    Luckily for Doug she only fell face first out of the ugly tree cuz that body is smoking hot… Treat her like a hot lunch and brown bag it!

  47. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh honey, you might be 17 in the law’s eyes, but in my eyes, it’s been 18 years since I was just another lonely 35 year-old, masturbating to your ultra-sound photo.”

  48. Tristyn

    After you fuck her , a life time of prescription narcotics will be needed.
    This bitch is MEGA GROSS!!!!

  49. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    “WHAT? You guys act like you’ve never seen a 50 year old dude fingerfuck his 16 year old wife in a pumpkin patch while photographers take pictures before…although when I say it out loud, I think I’ll just leave”

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