[Ed. Note: These are all entirely different photos from the other day because she posed for roughly 500,000 of them. Shocking, I know.]
If you’re like me and a lover of America and all the freedom it affords, you probably haven’t been able to sleep since finding out Courtney Stodden was kicked out of a pumpkin patch for practicing her barely legal love of Doug Hutchison and all the taint showing that’s entitled to under the Constitution. So who could’ve committed such a heinous crime against liberty? Turns out it’s moms. Those jealous, jealous moms. Via E! News:
“The dads loved it!” she exclaimed. Hutchison agreed, but put a more kid-friendly spin on what went down.
“There were a lot of people who wanted to take pictures with us,” he said, “and we overheard a dad say to his little girl, ‘Oh look, honey, they have a pumpkin-patch girl this year.’” (Nice save, mystery dad!)
Hutchison continued, “A lot of the kids thought she was a pumpkin-patch princess and there was a handful of concerned moms who went to the owners and said, ‘Get her out.’”
“OMGZ! This is Facebook all over again!! I just wanted to trolloply trance through tilted tangles of tantalizing pumpkins while tittily tumbling Doug’s tawdry testicles in a tight teddy that tickles my turgid tan tomatoes. – Ezekiel 12:13″
Photos: GSI Media
What a clueless twit. She has zero concept of what is attractive and is so deluded into thinking men are into her and women are jealous of her. She needs a wakeup call-spray tan, frosted lipstick, overly hairsprayed hair and white plastic platform boots do not, an attractive woman make.
did somebody say spray tan?
http://tinyurl.com/3dxqh4x
You jelly
The pumpkins themselves are jelly cos she’s stealing their shine. And their exact tone.
Can she fer chrissake wear a lip colour other than yellow? Just once?
Every week there’s pictures of this Shank! Me thinks Fish wants to fuck her hard!
Yes lots of pictures but oddly, never a picture of her bent over. Why is that? Doesn’t she like anal sex? What kind of woman doesn’t like anal?
Surely there is a pumpkin there large enough to fit her head inside.
Or maybe, a very, very small one to fit her brain inside.
who wears gloves to a fake pumpkin patch? or a real pumpkin patch? He obviously isn’t afraid of dirty things. smiley ; )
They are called pussies, fishbone, pussies.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but the kids cain’t make a jackerlantern out of those. I’mma go with the punkins.”
Get your plastic, orange skank-ho outta here, Grandpa!
This is what you get for stomping on Mr Jingles
What pathetic losers would get kicked out of a PUMPKIN PATCH, for pity’s sake??? ,,, Oh, wait; never mind ….
What pathetic losers would get kicked out of a PUMPKIN PATCH, for pity’s sake??? ,,, Oh, wait; never mind ….
Everyone hates this chick but you got to be a homo if you wouldn’t fuck the shit out of her….. more importantly…..Is that pumpkin patch in WATTS???? Since when is there security at a pumpkin patch?
I agree.
I cant wait till she does a porno, she’d be really good at it – she’s so eager to please.
I’d fuck the shit out of your wrinkly old gramma…because I have a penis and at least half a bottle of bourbon left. Does that validate your dusty old gram’s value as a person, or does it mean that dudes will masturbate inside any random vagina given the chance?
Seriously, it’s damn near 2012…can we be done with this “you’re haters…but you know you’d fuck her” shit? In fact, I’m laying claim to this whole meme “Godwins Law” style.
Henceforth, I declare it a necessity of universal truth that any internet discourse involving critical analysis of the societal value of a given female shall with absolute certainty gravitate towards an inevitable declaration of “oh yeah, well you’d fuck her”. The individual making the aforementioned declaration shall universally be recognized as having lost the current “battle of the internets” and heaped with scorn and shame.
So sayeth McFeely’s Law.
That was awesome.
Feely, I’m too sober to make sense of anything you just typed. But I still love it. So…wanna make out, or what? Maybe later? Ok, that’s cool, I’m really busy too. So busy.
You’d heap the scorn and shame on that dude… but you know you’d fuck him.
lol, exactly!
Booya Smackup.
McFeely, I’m with Kimmy, it’s awesome but I have no clue what you just said. You sir, would make a great lawyer if you are not already in the field.
Hence the homo part
For those of you whom this is TLDR, here’s the breakdown of the thread so far.
RobM: “Every hates her but would still fuck her.”
McFeely: “McFeely’s law”
RobM: “You’d still fuck her.”
You know, Michelle Buchanan should use McFeely’s law at the debates.
Cain: “Michelle knows nothing about economics”
Perry: “Michelle knows nothing about politics”
Paul: “Michelle knows nothing about diplomatic relations”
Gingrich: “Michelle knows nothing”
Michelle Buchanan: “You’d all fuck me.”
Debate over.
Hell yeah I would fuck her. She is like a combination of a skanky stripper/hooker/pornstar so she would probably be freaky and amazing in bed, do every and anything and probably have a girlfriend join in also.
That creepy little Hutchinson is having the time of his life. I bet Ashton wishes he had banged this chick instead. On another note, how the hell has she not been recruited by Charlie Sheen yet?
Feely… so if you’re saying if you had NO idea who this girl was and she hit you up, you would blow her off? You’re a fucking liar or to my point….a homo. Nuff said.
Robm78, the fact that you can’t conceive of the notion of having sex with a chick you have complete and utter contempt for tells me you’re either a virgin, or are a woman.
Either way, are you going to scorn and ridicule yourself, or do I have to do that too? It’s not that I want to…it’s the law.
All I gotta say is check out the Courtney Stodden parody on the Soup (a show on the E! Channel, but you might also be able to find it on YouTube). Might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I think it is hilarious.
Proof that all sense of moral decency does not exist with these two.
You needed proof ?? lol They’re already bigger liars than the Lohans and Kardashians … if that’s even possible.
“Don’t you know what kid gloves are for?”
That is NOT a 17 year-old ass.
Why not? It’s small and perky and whatnot. If you’re referring to the tiny “dimple” under her butt, a ton of girls have it. No how matter how slim and fit a girl may be, the truth is that in a woman, fat stores itself in the thighs. Maybe you’ve just been jaded by Photoshop. I love butt dimples.
Anyway, this girl is a ho.
blah blah blah..she’s gross either way. mostly just tacky. her skin matches the pumpkins.
I agree that she’s nasty. She doesn’t have a nice round butt, either. But that has nothing to do with her age.
NOT perky. For that little of a booty, that’s some gravity effect.
it looks like a 40 year old whose goes to the gyms ass.
She has filled the hole in my heart that Heidi and Spencer left when they died.
lol
that made me smile. But in the kind of way where people don’t want to sit next to you on the bus.
LOL
She’s pretty hot.
For a 40yr old.
OK, I’m just gonna make an observation about the age thing. If she is 40 then we need to find the plastic surgeon who fixed her skeletor hands that most women start getting at that age because they go on these no fat diets.
This chick is definitely under 30.
BOInGGGggggg
She’s got such a cute little shape…if she would just fix her teeth, nix the bizarre cougar voice and laugh, kill the frosted lipstick and hair, go easy on the spray tans, and stop airbrushing her abs and cleavage. I think she could actually get taken more seriously as a blatant famewhore if she just toned it down a bit.
you mean she’d be tolerable if she were a completely different person?
That’s what I got out of that, too.
Well, no. Because this is pretty obviously a character she’s conjured up in the hopes of becoming a superstar sex kitten. I just mean her fame didn’t have to go the butt-of-the-joke route. Underneath all the skeez, she was probably cute enough to bone her way to D-list celebrity.
Interesting shit !! I do believe it is her, looking her actual age before all the “sexification” bullshit …
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/
she does have an adorable bod and I know I would kill babies to look like that (minus her head) but no way is she 17
Could be an old pic, too … her body in no way looks 17. If they lied about the boob job they can lie through their teeth about everything else, too … including “Courtney was a virgin when she married Dougie.” *barf* … *barfs again*
I love her for all the reasons you just mentioned. I find her strangely appealing. She is like an out of this world character. Personally I am rooting for her to take down the Kardashians.
What a pleasant thought ! *hearts*
If she takes them out with a suicide vest, I’m all for it.
In a mud wrestling ring. You know the K’s would all start sobbing because it’s icky, but not Courtney, she’d be in her element with teeth bared.
Definitely. Who says there are few redeeming skills gained from beauty pageants?
Whoops! Looks like someone forgot to spray on the six back before leaving the house this morning.
Not sure which of them is more disgusting.
And sadly, I’m thinking her.
This wannabe was way more attractive before she joined ‘Panic at Hollywood’. All the hoopla must be about the age. She look like one of them club floozies.
This nasty is throwing her her chest out so far (in most pics) that her chin is a foot behind her bellybutton. She throws her shoulders back so far that I’m surprised she hasn’t injured herself yet….but I can hope.
no ass…wheres the beef?
exactly. doesn’t matter what age she is, she has NO ass. way to show off your chicken ass in Daisy Dukes. ULTRA-fail.
I live in Valencia and I so wish I had been there. I bet she looks even more hilarious in person.
It’s a game, right? “One of these orange things is not like the others.”
This.
+1
She must also be taking pumpkin pills or carrot pill to get that orange.
Please lord, send this c0ck toy straight to the porn world. I beg of you. My downloads await…
Damn, Fish, that last part is motherfucking gold. I love you, ya bastid!
Law question for you.
If she is 16 and married and then has sex with another man is that other man guilty of having sex with an underage minor? Does the underage married girl/woman give away her “underage” status when she gets married?
Just wondering. I have plenty of time down here at the day care facility I work at as a security guard.
I can’t answer this question, but you should at least be sure that the state/country in which this hypothetical situation is taking place has an age-of-consent law of 17 or 18. Because if it’s in one of the 29 American states, or most of the entire rest of the world, that 16-year-old isn’t “underage” under the law.
One of the 29 states where the age of consent is 16, I mean.
In my state 17 i 100% legal and 16 is too with parental consent (I verified it with my police officer friends just to be certain). I know a guy that met his wife when she was in high school and he was in his late 20′s knocked her up and got married to her and nothing ever happened to him. They are still married to this day. That is all irrelevant though because everyone still thinks you are a pedophile.
Almost every state has an exemption to their child sex laws to the effect of “…and is not married to”
That being said, 16 is legal age of consent in my state.
I don’t think that exemption was meant to apply to third parties in adulterous or polyamorous liaisons.
But, hey, how about someone here fly to California, where the age of consent is otherwise 18, nail Courtney—consensually, remember—and give himself up for arrest? It would make for an interesting test case, and we’d all have a lot of fun watching your trial. And you could take what you’ve learned here over the years and parlay your newfound fame into money-making bullshit stardom. Win-win!
Video at the end…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2053906/Courtney-Stodden-slurs-way-TV-appearance.html
Wait, where is she? Her skin is blending in with all the pumpkins…
Im bungling the saying, its ‘Panic at Hollywood Park’ I need to samurai a shadow’ finger.
Looks like her nipple is showing in this photo?
Her nipple is showing in one of the photos and her areola is visible in several others. The fact she was showing her nipples to children seems like a perfectly valid reason to kick her ass out!
“I just wanted to trolloply trance through tilted tangles of tantalizing pumpkins while tittily tumbling Doug’s tawdry testicles in a tight teddy that tickles my turgid tan tomatoes”
Fish. I love you.
I second that. Like a bad boyfriend you just can’t quit.
She ditched the rest of the Princess Leia costume when she realized it wouldn’t flash any cleavage.
video of this would have been more funny.
I’m guessing that since you can see her nipples in a few of these photos that she should have been kicked out. The fact that her nipple is visible is probably why the “dads” enjoyed having her there.
I’d love it if she was squashed.
The fact that her skin looks tight and there is no cellulite leads me to believe that her age might be close to what she claims.
“Come at me bro!”
I. Died.
He’s finally going to put her out of her misery.
Looks like they’re shopping for her next round of implants.
This chick’s face is DISGUSTING. Why is she even remotely famous. There are hotter girls working at Starbucks in L.A…. Seriously, why keep posting pictures of this person..
“For 20 bucks I’ll let you smell it.”
This girl needs to stop with all the bedroom poses, she looks like she’s trying to live a playmate/stripper/pornstar fantasy or something? Very disturbing? Seriously wear something that shows you have respect for yourself because no one is going to take you seriously dressed like that?!
I don’t know what to say, but her whore custom scares me to death.
Luckily for Doug she only fell face first out of the ugly tree cuz that body is smoking hot… Treat her like a hot lunch and brown bag it!
“Oh honey, you might be 17 in the law’s eyes, but in my eyes, it’s been 18 years since I was just another lonely 35 year-old, masturbating to your ultra-sound photo.”
After you fuck her , a life time of prescription narcotics will be needed.
This bitch is MEGA GROSS!!!!
“WHAT? You guys act like you’ve never seen a 50 year old dude fingerfuck his 16 year old wife in a pumpkin patch while photographers take pictures before…although when I say it out loud, I think I’ll just leave”