Courtney Stodden Is So Fresh-Faced And Alive

November 3rd, 2011 // 336 Comments

Courtney Stodden really wants you to believe the paparazzi are always camped out at her house as she comes walking home from Starbucks each morning – Sigh. The life of a star, amirite? – so here she is wearing the least amount of make-up possible because virtually everyone looked at her before pics and went, “What the fuck happened?” Which is why I’m also going to assume she’s making the most natural faces I’ve ever seen anyone make in their life. What pretty, non-surgically-altered young girl doesn’t look like she’s trying not to swallow her tongue in the middle of a seizure? I feel like I’m back in high school. “Hey, guys, let’s hide under the bleachers and watch the girls stroke out! It’ll be rad,” we used to say.

Photos: GSI Media


  1. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone who makes me miss the days of Heidi and Spencer needs to be taken down. Can’t the government send people to do that?

  2. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never seen anyone throw their shoulders back so far that it appears that they look like they’re about to break something. This whore never just walks or stands naturally.

  3. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh please, if your a girl you know that without makeup we all have uneven skin. How is it that her face looks so even and perfect yet her body is all blotchy?

  4. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a freakish ability to make hot boring.

  5. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:


  6. Do_Freebird

    The color of her rack is totally different from the rest of her body. Not a tanned kind of different color, but more like a totally different skin tone, I can therefore only conclude that those are cadaver tits.

  7. OH MY GOD! It finally just all came together for me…Courtney Stodden is the oldest of Shauna Sand’s daughters! And I remember when she was just a wee little thing looking pathetically up at her mom flashing her nips on the red carpet…

  8. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Where is she walking? Is this a photo shoot under a highway exit and there was a Starbucks? I’m so confused! And why can’t she just wear some Puma’s instead of stilettos?

  9. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    every picture i’ve seen of her, she seems to always be wearing invisible straps.. get a strapless.

  10. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    lately, i am believing she really is 17, she looks it in the face *sometimes*…..most the time she’s trying to look 20yrs older for some damn reason. don’t most women want to look younger? watevz, good for her for garnering all this attention and profiting off absolutely nothing – the new, updated ‘american dream’

    • TomFrank

      “Ah wants to look lak a grownup so people don’t look strange at mah Dougie.”

      (Yeah, I don’t know what she sounds like, so I’m using Britney’s voice here.)

  11. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Pfffftt….Oh a sensual and scintillating scent just slid out my curvaceous cornhole and glistened my gilded groin mmmmh. Psalms 5:8 ;) xoxox

  12. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    oh she is definitely wearing face makeup – i can see foundation (a lot), mascara and light blusher but there’s prob more.
    i’m just hearing of this boob make-up now, didnt even know it existed – probably coz i was blessed with real DDs, what’s it meant to do?? but she did a terrible job with whatever the hell “boob make-up” is suspposed to be doing. it looks like a cheap blush smeared around the tops to make them look fake and squar-ish? eh who cares.

  13. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Fritzi Schnizter
    Commented on this photo:

    Yikes! Does she have scoliosis? Why is she so contorted? Those aren’t even keys in her hand. She can’t drive!

    • Charro

      House keys, I’m sure. I was wondering if she knows how to drive, though, seriously. In Washington, you have to be 16 to get your license, at least, and she got married at 16, so, has she had time to learn/get her license? Also, it may very well be that you have to be 18 now, unless you take a driving course in school…they’ve changed the laws since I got my license…then, you had to be 15-1/2 to get your permit, take a class in school (no paid courses outside school), then you could take your tests.

      • Anon

        They haven’t changed it. The driving age is definitely still 16 in California, and throughout the country it varies from 14 to 17 years. by state. In most states, the driving age is 16 or 16 and some number of months.

  14. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    tukey neck is starting to develop pretty early. probably the tanning. we are only young once, and youth runs out pretty fast. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY A TEEN WANTS TO LOOK DOUBLE HER AGE! it’s not normal! i’m beginning to worry about aging and i’m only 23. also make up is designed to enhance natural beauty and features, not to paint and draw on your face some whacked out idea of beauty. i bet she can look fabulous if she applies the makeup properly because she isn’t ugly, just uneducated – about nearly everything it appears

  15. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    There is no way this chick is 17…honestly. Somewhere in the world R. Kelly is shuttering

  16. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s always doing retarded things with her mouth because she’s uncomfortable with it. y’know, thin lips, nothing interesting or special, quite common actually. she’s prob got some complex about thinking that her lips and mouth are ugly and thinks doing “sexy mouth” will distract people from what she sees as a flaw when really she just looks like a derp trying too hard to be sexy or some shit.

  17. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    +1, i work in a pharmacy, so i extra appreciate this! haha

  18. 954-Jeffery Valentine

    I think she’s 33 or 47 years old, but likely long-live this women.

  19. Casey

    I don’t think she has fake breasts. It looks like she uses chicken cutlets, stuffs, and sometimes wears 2 bras.

    That dated arm cuff is heinous.

  20. 253-Jeffery Selena

    I think she’s 33 or 47.

  21. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    whats with those bruses above her tits? grose!

  22. I feel sorry for the cleaning lady that has to scrub the orange stains out of the bathtub at their house. She should be a spokeperson for Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

  23. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Their is no way she is 17….if i had to give an honest guess as to how old i think she is, I would say 37…33 without makeup.

  24. forrest gump

    her breasts are simply too gig for her body.
    THIS IS LIKE A V8 ENGINE IN A Yugo zastava, folks!!

  25. gotta admit though, she looks 1000 times better here than any photo of recent. at least she’s (maybe) trying to calm the inner ho down a bit??

  26. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s going to look like a worn out tire by the time she’s twenty.

  27. mel

    :( I believe that sums it up

  28. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Panty Thief
    Commented on this photo:

    IT’S A MAN, BABY!!

  29. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
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  30. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Quadruple “D’s” Disturbing. Disgusting, Desperate, Demented. The pictures are uncomfortable to see because of just how hard she is working to look like she had no idea pictures might be taken of her when she put on that casual morning lounging outfit and headed to the coffee shop….but if you have seen an interview, well then the picture no longer seems like any big deal. I hope she is on drugs because if that is her real personality then I say let’s get these two spayed and neutered to protect the rest of us and society. YIKES. Doug, not sure what to say buddy. If you wanted some TMZ kind of attention in your life why didn’t you do something a little more respectable like not wear your boxers when getting out of a limo or something. I don’t know how you will ever recover from this one. ….and here I thought the whole green mile character was just an act. CREEPY. But yet….still less creepy than you wife.

  31. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    These photos remind me of the censored naked hitch hiking Madonna photos.

  32. pitchthedevil

    Jesus Christ, Courtney. Get a purse!

  33. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Good lord! She is sad looking…trying too hard…maybe if she was not such a freak she could be pretty(maybe)

  34. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or does her fake orange tan make her look legs look hairy?

  35. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Ask Jeeves
    Commented on this photo:

    she is really pretty without out all that whored up makeup.

  36. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    I think these pictures are especially hilarious, because she’s got her porn-star poses goin’, with a “just loungin’ around” look on her face. It’s funny. And if that girl is 17, I feel bad for her, cuz she looks pretty old and tired, man.

  37. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    What is she doing? she looks like Chewbacca squeezing one out her lips.

  38. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    She is aware that those weren’t made for walking…..

  39. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    her mother should be beaten to death, and then set on fire, and then buried and then….ect, ect

  40. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    poor child….thats clearly child abuse

    • Charro

      But she’s a big girl now, and can make her own decisions…don’t you remember being 17 and knowing it all? LOL

  41. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs to run soooo far away from her mother and the gramps she’s married to….and try to have a real teenage girls life

  42. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    doesnt she have aunts and uncles?? who can step in and take her away from her money-hungry-pathetic-loozer of a mother????. I bet her mother and husband have sex

  43. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks sad, and abused….someone needs to step in and take this child out of this f***ed up situation.

  44. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Shauna Sand indeed!

  45. Problem?

    Jeebus we get it. You’re a skank.

  46. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks jaundiced.

  47. Atama

    Haha, I read the interview with her mom and it basically looks like she was a slutty famewhore from the instant she hit puberty. Her mom didn’t even try to deny it.

  48. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it me or does her little black top and shorts look like censor bars?

  49. Doc

    I love this girl, not gonna lie

  50. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    … even more beautiful! too bad she´s too young and too naked…

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