Courtney Stodden Is So Fresh-Faced And Alive

November 3rd, 2011 // 336 Comments

Courtney Stodden really wants you to believe the paparazzi are always camped out at her house as she comes walking home from Starbucks each morning – Sigh. The life of a star, amirite? – so here she is wearing the least amount of make-up possible because virtually everyone looked at her before pics and went, “What the fuck happened?” Which is why I’m also going to assume she’s making the most natural faces I’ve ever seen anyone make in their life. What pretty, non-surgically-altered young girl doesn’t look like she’s trying not to swallow her tongue in the middle of a seizure? I feel like I’m back in high school. “Hey, guys, let’s hide under the bleachers and watch the girls stroke out! It’ll be rad,” we used to say.

Photos: GSI Media


  1. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she stuffing her bra?! She has the implants, yet – but look at how pushed up her cleavage is and then how low her breasts seem to go. Either she’s padding her bra or her implants went weird and oblong recently.

  2. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the hell are the tops of her tits so red? Is that makeup, or some freakish tanning accident?

  3. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    The thumbnails look like she’s being covered up by two wide censorship bars. I think it’s my subconscious telling me to not look at the whor….er….horror…

  4. Holding up well for 33 or so.

  5. tom

    Why is she kind of famous by the way?

  6. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what Frankie Muniz would look like in a blonde wig, with breast implants. Oh wait, never mind.

  7. Holland

    The only thing that’s 17 years of age in these pics are those ugly implants

  8. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    The refinement and elegance radiating from her bosom is truly a thing of beauty.

  9. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    ET Phone Home
    Commented on this photo:

    hhaaha, ridiculous

  10. Canada

    If your boobs are too huge to wear a tube top without then falling to your knees without a bra then dont wear one. Also, if you have a fake tits shouldnt they be holding up without a bra? those ‘clear’ bra straps make her look like a dirty trashy hooker.

  11. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you think she know her shoes don’t fit; or that she really looks like Sh*t

  12. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    There is a certain Gumby-like quality to her gait here…

  13. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    This chick constantly looks like she’s going to piss herself.

  14. Alright she looks good in that black gear, this is the first time I’m going to jack off to this bitch.

    Deal with it.

  15. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    “But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? *cough cough* Wait, what? Where am I?”

  16. mrsmass

    seriously, how many bras does she have on here? her tits are so weird, and i’m not even talking about her 10 toned skin color.

  17. tiffanyleigh

    Wow I see why she puts the makeup on with a putty knife…eh hem “drag queen”

    • Burt

      She’s trying to show what she looks like without the thick makeup…She still walks like she’s constipated, though.

  18. Tony

    someone needs to tell this dumb twat that porn isnt that hard to get into.

  19. mrsmass

    didn’t her mom say she looks just like the before picks when she’s not wearing make up? yeah, not even close.

  20. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Do people really go out of the house dressed like that? Her fake fun bags would freeze if she went out like that where I am. Seriously, she’s not out jogging and presumably not on her way home from turning tricks. Who puts THAT outfit on to go get coffee? I hope the guy who took her money had gloves on. Where did she pull it out from?

    • albaget

      it’s california, idiot.

      • jal

        It’s been a while since I’ve been in LA but yes, I vaguely remember it being in California, thanks. I just wondered if that’s the norm for that area or if half the people in the coffee shop spilled their drinks in their laps when she walked in.

    • BE

      Yes, people who call the paparazzi an hour before they leave dress like that. And if you call a pound of foundation plus bronzer “no makeup” – hence the line on her chest – yeah that’s “no makeup”

  21. Parakeet Bukkake

    Never go full retard.

  22. anonym

    she stuffs her bra.

    weak sauce

  23. anonym

    also, her hair style looks like it’s from the 90′s

  24. Ghost

    Admit it, guys. She looks pretty good for a 50 year old.

  25. DogBoy

    …ever wondered what Kelly Ripa woulda looked like if she’d taken her All My Children paychecks, bought fake tits and a spray tan, and started trickin’. Now you know.

  26. kb

    I don’t know what the big deal is! Doesn’t every chick look who looks like an altered crack head roll out if bed, put on 6 inch stilettos and run to get coffee?……. No?

  27. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh oh, I think she totally pooped her pants you guys (Valley girl accent)!

    These pictures are so f*cking hilarious. I know, I know… I must be jehluss. Yeah, that’s it. I wish I could be just like’er!

  28. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL…look at those shoes! That’s friggin’ hilarious.

  29. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh hi, are you looking for company? You promise me another coffee just like this one and I’ll get in the car with you right now.

  30. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    signature move: side fart strut. very tricky!

  31. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    The spitting image of shauna sand, my god

  32. lolz

    She’s like one of those bulldogs that can’t close its mouth.

  33. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Got to agree with Gina Brace here – it’s totally obvious that she’s got on plenty of makeup… She just left her “whore eyes” at home. And while this is the first time her face has ever made her look like a teenager, her leathery neck says otherwise.

  34. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s my theory. The omnipresent slave armband is actually a specialized form of a fentanyl patch and the silicone bra straps are actually designed to slow release oxycodone straps. Bizarre faces and marriage explained!

    • baccusvd

      actually thanks for pointing out the slave arm band seeing as she is a private sex kitten for some old rich man which lets face it is EXACTLY what she was raised for.

      • Charro

        I honestly don’t think Doug is exactly ‘rich’. He was teaching some sort of acting classes, which is allegedly how they met ONLINE…ahem.

  35. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    These are actually really sad, cause with out all that make up, she really does look 17.

  36. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this “thing” hear the click of a camera and just start posing? or does she honestly think looking like she has to take a huge deuce look sexy?

    • Charro

      I’m fairly certain they have a personal photog that they send out with her to ‘spontaneously’ capture these ‘spontaneous’ moments.

  37. Longshot421

    Wow. Yup, stripper heels and underwear to get coffee. I don’t know why, but instead of the contempt I want to feel for this trollopy (sure, it’s a word) little fame whore, I only feel pity. Her pathetic degenerate pedophile husband on the other hand…

  38. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, she looks like she’s trying to cut a turd here !!

  39. Lindsay Lohan

    Why does this cunt wear those shitty padded bras and shit. She looks fucking stupid. I hopes he dies in a fire.

  40. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    good call on the shauna image….jesus, just pathetic….

  41. JP

    I seriously don’t get why one has to dress like a hooker to go get a cup of coffee? I mean, who’d really want to dress like this on a daily basis? Is it just because she knows the paparazzi follow her around now – and we all expect her to look like a whore so she must now this up no matter where she goes? Just trying to understand this – and why she and her old man are getting so much attention?

  42. Weirdo

    I’d still fuck this whorry porn star wannabe just how she likes it- hard and nasty! Then I’ll cut off my cock.

  43. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I should try these shoes for my morning errands.

  44. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    The top part of her breast looks bruised! Owie, I dunno if that’s even comfortable to have those things on…owie… nothing wrong with implants but this is not really attractive at all, her skin looks so old and thin and discolored!!!

  45. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘ooooh heeeey guyzzzz.. i’m jussst minding my own businesss.. i am like.. soooo off guard…’

  46. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    i bet its easy as shit to knock her over.. her balance looks terrible!

  47. k if shes 17, she must have some disease. cause thats fucked up

  48. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    two things: why do her boobs look like they are trying to escape from her body? there is some serious bruising up there. and second, at least the girl knows how to dress up and outfit with a classy pair of stripper heels!

  49. For the first time, I believe she’s 17, or at least a lot younger than we all thought. And I can also find it in myself to feel sorry for her. What with Mom pimping her out at the earliest opportunity to some skeevy has-been, and her new “daddy” encouraging her in her whoredom, it’s fairly obvious the girl — yes, girl — never stood a chance. In about ten years, she’s going to be dead inside.

  50. stratacat

    where’s dreg? he needs to make up some moves for this “girl.”

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