Courtney Stodden Is So Fresh-Faced And Alive

November 3rd, 2011 // 336 Comments

Courtney Stodden really wants you to believe the paparazzi are always camped out at her house as she comes walking home from Starbucks each morning – Sigh. The life of a star, amirite? – so here she is wearing the least amount of make-up possible because virtually everyone looked at her before pics and went, “What the fuck happened?” Which is why I’m also going to assume she’s making the most natural faces I’ve ever seen anyone make in their life. What pretty, non-surgically-altered young girl doesn’t look like she’s trying not to swallow her tongue in the middle of a seizure? I feel like I’m back in high school. “Hey, guys, let’s hide under the bleachers and watch the girls stroke out! It’ll be rad,” we used to say.

Photos: GSI Media


  1. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    I like how she still has that ridiculous arm cuff on.

  2. embarrassedtobeawomanrightnow

    She has body makeup applied above her tits to make them look bigger. We used that trick in high school theater. Wow. This chick, no matter how old she really is, needs to get a life.

    • JC

      I wondered about that. I just assumed there was blood pooling there because of general plastic surgery incompetence.

    • Sam

      yeah, but she did it totally wrong.. didn’t blend at all, looks like she outlined her boobs with brown marker. Geez girl, you have fake tits I’m sure they look good on their own. The weird contouring and double bra action just makes them look deformed.

      • Jill

        She doesn’t have fake tits, she just wears a bunch of bras. Why do you think she always wears those goddamn clear straps?!

    • Napoupi

      I think she deserves to be treated like an adult rather than like a sixteen year old (and by that I mean that Doug should sell her sorry ass and self airbrushed jugs on the streets for a few cents and some crystal meth).

    • RJ

      I’d like to think of it as a massive bruise, the result of someone clubbing her in the chest.

    • Is there penis makeup to make it look bigger?

      Not that I need it. I was just curious.

      Where would you buy something like that?

    • edie

      Either way, they are really confusing me. They’re made of some sort of eldritch geometry that fits better in an H.P. Lovecraft novel than a gossip blog.

  3. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    OK. I’m curious about this. Once you get past the ridiculous everything about her in the photo, you have to wonder how she paid for the drink.

  4. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the oldest 17-year-old I’ve ever seen

  5. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Is everyone just going to stand there and take photos when the poor girl clearly has a broken spine?

    and by “girl” I mean 45 year old woman. If that’s a 17 year old, I’ll eat Indian food.

  6. korg

    Seems like its kind of whorey out lately.

  7. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    she is def a beauty!

  8. Abe Dominal

    I see her spray-on abs washed off.

  9. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Stevie S
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s hideous.

  10. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    why are her boobs different colored from the rest of her? I’d suspect tanning issues…but they’re always exposed.

    • Jax

      She uses contour makeup to make them appear fuller, by placing dark around them they look bigger, she just really did an awful job

  11. Clarence Beeks

    she looks so fucking OLD.

  12. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    with or without makeup she still looks like she’s on the wrong side of 40

  13. Sheppy

    Is that how she always walks? Think she needs to see a chiropractor.

  14. FruitLoop

    Pretty average looking.

    Is Doug tying up her boobs during sex? It looks like ligature marks around the base of her tits, like he really tied those puppies up tight.

  15. When they said she was “17″……it was the dyslexia.

  16. Keep it Positive

    You know you’re a skank when your clear bra straps look dingy.

  17. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    I cannot help but laugh at these pictures!! Ya’ know, the ones she’s SURE are super fuckin’ sexy!! Hahahahaha!!

  18. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Good Lord. She’s making the Kate Gosselin face!

  19. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    This one says to me: “OhmyGod! Life is SO hard, you guys!” (in a Valley girl accent, for some reason)

  20. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    oh i know
    Commented on this photo:

    THAT is NO 17 year old!

  21. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she have fucking hip dysplasia? Her vet should put her down.

  22. Naomi

    Wow, she’s 7 years younger than me, and already looks 7 years older than I am… Creepy girl. She reminds me of my ex’s mom…

  23. justagirl

    who runs out for coffee in stripper heels and their underwear? i can barely manage sweats and flip flops.

  24. aaw

    The first pic i was like wow she looks somewhat “normal” THEN after the full view…ughh….where does she put her money & drugs? Who the fuck wears tho’s shoes & girl the 90′s clear plastic bra straps REALLY?!

    • God is Black

      @justagirl also,Right On! Seriously fucked in the head! Yeah every time my girlfriend gets a coffee she has that food orgasm look on her face(chocolate commercials) and walks in slow motion like in the movies,(Naked Gun series). Finally she dresses like a street hooker so she can get a free cup of coffee for me! BaHaHaHa!

  25. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a Dinosaur, and I’m not just talking about her pose.

  26. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Idc what anyone says, That’s a Man!

  27. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    is she wearing makeup to contour her boobs?

    • Claire


    • justsayin

      yes it’s (crappy) airbrushing. she does it on her abs as well but not in this photo i don’t think. I keep forgetting this girl is 17…. she looks like she’s 25. for someone who is basically in the final stages of puberty shouldn’t she be a little more…. ‘taut’ and ‘spritely?

  28. jim x

    The weird thing is, she doesn’t look that old *physically*. She just projects the weariness of someone who’s had a soul disease since the Civil War.

  29. KyPii

    17? Not possible. 47 maybe. This girl is so horrid. From the fried-out bleach blonde hair, to the make up on her already deformed boob job, to the 1990s arm band on her overly-tanned skin. A pathetic excuse. Who actually believes this tramp is 17???

    • Naomi

      While I hate to talk shit about teenagers, this girl is an exception… She’s no longer even pretty….

    • Michael

      Yeah, it’s a pathetic gimmick. 17, and she looks like a stripper. Not the cute one, I mean the cheap hooker-looking slag. Oh well…

  30. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    That right boob sure screams IMPLANT!

  31. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Common she’s a good Christian, guys! Jesus died so she can walk to Starbucks dressed like a hooker on her day off.

  32. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Ben Dover
    Commented on this photo:

    she was way better looking before she had
    those 2 giant things grafted to her chest

    • baccusvd

      She went on some show to prove they weren’t implants. And nobody noticed that when she got the X-rays she was 8 cup sizes smaller.

      “I don’t have fake tits, I pad the shit out of them durrrrrp want a lollipop?”

  33. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Tyler Perry
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh yeah, those are real tits…sure.

  34. rican

    This girl is going for “I am a blonde Kim K.”, on her way to “Speidi-ville” Too bad for her Ryan Seacrest hasn’t noticed.

  35. Richard McBeef

    I know this might make some heads explode in here, but:

    1. big tits ≠ attractive

    2. big tits ≠ nice tits

    • Jack Ketch

      No exploded heads here, but they’re fake. And not only fake, but very badly-done fakes, WAY too huge for her small frame, only making her look more like a fucking clown than she already is. Sensible goddamn shoes for a coffee run. Her and Shawna Sand ought to have a beer together.

      • KyPii

        If she IS 17 (unlikely), then she is Shauna Sand’s daughter. That is the only explanation I will accept.

  36. Yuck

    She looks like an old dirty tweeker.

  37. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:


    Gah, there goes my spine again!

  38. Someone’s going to have some explaining to do at Starfucker Academy when they hear about this.

  39. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like $hit !!

  40. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    She walks like a hen. I’m waiting for her to start clucking and lay an egg.

  41. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, seriously — jailbait perhaps, but she looks pretty solid there.

  42. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    ..and this is why so many women have their implants placed UNDER the chest muscles ladies.Dear god,is she purposely going for the “two footballs under 3 layers of skin” look? You can almost see the brand name of those implants!
    I bet that if you bumped in to her,those things would slip right down to the palms of her hands o.0

  43. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks fake…WTF is wrong with this girl!

  44. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    What woman doesnt look like that first thing in the morning?
    Im not a person until I slap on 2 inches of foundation (for a natural look of course),slip in to my 10 inch,platform heels,iron my hair,slip into my hot pants and a tank top and do my nails….Yes,I need to be up at 4am to look like this before breakfast,but again..what woman doesnt do that??

    She does give a whole new meaning to “move your body like a snake” though.Im not feelin those moves.Maybe she´s “wearing” a bullet? (the remote nicely disguised as a cell phone..).You all know how important those kegel exersizes are ladies!

  45. Schmidtler

    wtf is that top she’s wearing? It looks like smallish normal boobs with a giant bag of stuff holding them up. If her boobs are really big, let’s have some topless shots for proof!

  46. cc

    Time to Shauna Sand…3…2…1

  47. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Her face is pink and her body is brown…her foundation is just clashing with everything else.

  48. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    She is going to injure herself walking around like that all the time.

  49. Courtney Stodden No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup..she´s deffinately rockin that bullet.Maybe if she turned the vibe down a notch,she could actually function in a more natural looking manner.

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