Courtney Stodden Might Be A Little Too Brave
*crawls out of garbage can full of whiskey* I lub you, Hilary Duff. I fuckin’ lub you! *sees pic of Courtney Stodden* Old guy, old guy with really big boobs, how do I make Hilary Duff love me? Gimme your old guy secrets. Do I be myself? Not be myself? Get a man bun? I bet I should get a man bun. *pukes on Photo Boy’s desk* Oh! Oh, are you mad? Why don’t you have your baby clean it up? Because you had a baby. *pulls down pants, presses ‘Publish’ with ass cheek* I’ll do me. I’ll do me.
NOTE: Pics of what Courtney Stodden used to look like below because everyone should see what happens when you sell your daughter’s virginity to goddamn Horace from Lost. I’m a helper.