Your Dad Wants To Have A Talk With You About His New Girlfriend, Courtney Stodden

November 22nd, 2013 // 65 Comments
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Come on in, son, have a seat.

Listen, I know you’re all grown up now and have a family of your own, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t have a talk with your old man. As you know, it’s been a few months since your mother passed, and well, I’ve met somebody. Have you ever been on the Internet? Who am I kidding? You kids practically live on the damn thing. Like right now, put that phone away. I’m trying to have a moment here. Now, are you familiar with Courtney Stodden? You are? Why are you shaking your head like that? She’s a nice, sweet gal who’s helping your old man through a tough- don’t you take that tone with- no, I’ve never seen The Green Mile. Or Lost. Jesus, how much television does your generation watch? Get to the point. — Child bride? She’s a 45-year-old woman for crying out loud. — 18?! Are you smoking pot again? So help me if you’re smoking pot, I will put you in that rehab, mister. You have kids for chrissakes! Oh, so now you’re leaving. Fine. Who needs a crybaby son when I’ve got a pair of sweet tits waiting for me? That’s right, you heard me. Your old man loves tits! Think about that while you’re trying to get it up in that prison cell you call a marriage. I told your mother giving you my name was a mistake, but no, “Fred Willard Jr. sounds just swell, honey.” I should’ve left for smokes and never came back. Get outta my kitchen.

Photos: WENN

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  1. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    Two Words: HOT MESS!

  2. That conversation sounds familiar to one I had recently. But hey, I’m not ashamed to say I’d fuck the shit out of Courtney Stodden.

  3. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Just a few of the nice people helping Courtney stretch out her holes as she continues her hard training for the new career.

  4. She looks like a mid-1990s Anna Nicole Real Doll that was left soaking in hot water for too long.

  5. I’m pretty disappointed in this news, I’ll be honest.

    I was truly hoping Hirsch would have gotten his dirty hands on her by now, and that she would be diving head first into production of “I say Bukkake, You say Bukkake”.

    Hopefully this is just a phase for her, and then she gets on with her true calling.

  6. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks grotesque now.

  7. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    ashrit snowe
    Commented on this photo:

    If that was my dad ……”The first available bed and I’ll have your ass in Happy Hills Old Folks Home quicker than you can pop a handful of Viagras ,you old shit stain! THIS WILL NOT STAND!!!!”

  8. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    This soiree was soo much more suave when the roxi I railed was still rollin’!

  9. So sad, she used to be cute, now she is morphing into Amanda Lepore. She is probably year away from looking like her or worse.

  10. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Commented on this photo:

    I always thought Meatloaf was a homosexual. This just re-confirms it.

  11. why are we still waking up to posts about this idiot? she is not a celebrity, she is no longer fucking a has been d list celebrity there is literally no reason to have any interest in this whores life

    • Ahh, c’mon. This site is lousy with whores. Kardashiwhores, Lohanwhores, Bertnywhore, Jennifer LoveJunkfoodwhore, JanuaryJoneswhore… The list is endless.

      • Dox

        That’s kind of what makes it amusing. No talent whores whose popularity soars, because America is apparently brain dead. Or in a coma. Or lacking taste. Or on drugs. Or….

      • Randal

        Or “fan freaking fabulous”! Koourtney Stodden has truly coined that phrase!

        Randal

        Responding to his fans.

  12. cc

    Oh look, the porn version of ‘WKRP in Cincinnati’.

  13. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Molested?
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we all stop for a moment and think about whether Courtney Stodden was molested by an older man when she was younger? This may explain her being overly sexualized at such a young age, as well as her attraction to (much) older men. She’s supposed to be 19, but she’s been aging like Robin Williams in the movie, “Jack.” And she’s going from a 50-year-old to a 60-year-old. This shit’s not even funny; it’s just sad.

  14. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Paully Boston Baby!
    Commented on this photo:

    My good fucking lord…DADDY ISSUES!!!!

  15. fashionassta

    This guy looks just like Paulie Gualtieri from the Sopranos. When she washes up somewhere on the Jersey shore. I will say “I told you so…”

  16. Dox

    WAIT. Stop. Rewind. Back up. Hold on. What da fuq?
    Like last week, she got divorced so she could “enjoy her freedom”. How the fuck does she fall into bed immediately thereafter with a man older than the one she just left?

    No. No. No.
    This whole thing is making my brain hurt.
    It’s like someone trying to explain to me that a cheating wife is actually loyal as hell, because she only thought of me while banging other guys.

    I quit.
    Fuck humanity.

    • Rasputin's Evil Twin

      Ah, someone else who’s starting to understand why Grigori and I haven’t spent a full day sober in decades. Glad to see others get what we see.

  17. Jade

    Fulfilling her childhood dream, the transformation is finally complete, and Courtney now looks like a blow-up doll.

  18. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    pajeitor
    Commented on this photo:

    who is the brunette?

  19. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Ginger Failed
    Commented on this photo:

    So she just dumped one old fart to jump in the sack with another?

  20. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Mike Myers

  21. Randal

    If we lived in the world perfect; grace, charm, and beauty would be spelled “Kourtney”. Watch out Kim K, ’cause the Kourt is-a-commin’ to take your crown. There truely is something this young lass is going to set the world on, and that word is “fire”.

    Randal

  22. Nat

    She looks like Amanda Lepore… and not in a good way.

  23. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    greenie65
    Commented on this photo:

    This couple reminds me of that couple; where the dude was on that tv show “Lost” and his girlfriend was way underage. And they were taking pictures to make themselves famous, but it worked negatively in their favor. I think there was a lesson to be learned there.

  24. Dr Plaid

    One of the pics is tagged that this guy is her publicist. Is he the super douche that keeps paying for her ‘candid’ photo shoots where she seems to be just hanging around at the beach or pumpkin patch or drag bar at all the right angles?

    If that’s the case, then this is the payback moment he has been waiting for. Doug is out of the way and he was the sucker who paid for her missile tits. Now he gets feel how ‘lifelike’ they are. I hope he doesn’t bruise himself on them or cut his dick on some sharp part of her face. He might bleed out.
    I care like that.

  25. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Commented on this photo:

    Those gigantic implants and yet she is STILL stuffing her bra. WTF?

  26. gnarla

    Is anyone surprised by this? She wants to become Anna Nicole Smith. Not “the next” Anna Nicole Smith, but *the* Anna Nicole Smith. Dying her hair, getting huge fake tits…claiming Anna Nicole’s old best friend is now *her* best friend, bragging about how “everyone” says she reminds them of Anna Nicole? (I know too much about this creature.)

  27. Shes 19 but looks 45. It doesn’t look like the age difference is as great as it actually is.

  28. kery

    She should date boys her age ’cause she will miss her time with old men even me i like younger than me no old guys ;)

  29. s45qu4tch

    I finally realized who she reminds me of! Angelyne. She’s this generation’s Angelyne

  30. Worthless

    What do you expect? She’s talentless and can’t survive on her own. He obviously has more money. Next husband will be a 78-year old millionaire in a wheel chair.

  31. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to do hardcore porn already… nuff said

  32. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Commented on this photo:

    “ATTENSHUNNNN”

  33. KeiraKnows

    “Trailer park couple…” is also what Edward Lozzi publicly called Courtney and Doug. He posted that comment on July 4, 2013, on the blog Janet Charlton’s Hollywood.

    • KeiraKnows

      Follow Up From KeiraKnows: The comment from Mr. Lozzi was there, and I checked it twice before I posted my comment, but I’m amazed that his comment has since disappeared (been deleted?) from that blog. May God strike me dead, right here and now, if I am lying about this. I’m very surprised that someone, anyone! (Mr. Lozzi, maybe?) was paying attention, and had the ability to delete it. (I also checked the archive dot org website, and the original page had not been archived there). The comment was definitely posted on the Janet Charlton website, and it linked directly to Mr. Lozzi’s PR website, which is why I passed the information on. If this is how that man thought of Courtney Stodden, I think if I were her I would be careful around him. Or maybe since he has now met her, he might have changed his mind about her. Either way, it was there and now it’s not.

  34. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    KeiraKnows
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, I found it! This is the archived page from Nov. 22, 2013. Mr. Lozzi’s “trailer park people” comment he made about Courtney and Doug is there, it’s the fourth comment from the top. Also, if you do a web search with the phrases “Edward Lozzi” and “July 4, 2013″ (both in quotes), you will see his original comment. Thank you. http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:xXOPUDr6Rc4J:www.janetcharltonshollywood.com/courtney-stodden-took-her-implants-for-a-walk-in-hollywood/+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a

  35. Courtney Stodden Publicist New Boyfriend Edward Lozzi
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney if you are reading this follow my advice and get even bigger implants because the bigger they are the more famous you will be. Hey maybe you will even be in movies….porn of course.

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