Courtney Stodden Doesn’t Have Implants

November 8th, 2011 // 141 Comments
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After your moms couldn’t stop all their jelly with Courtney Stodden, our poor pleasantly pleasing princess was left with no choice but to get paid by Dr. Drew to take an ultrasound on his new show Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers and prove that she doesn’t have implants. Which is apparently what happened:

Dr. Drew – “That is all normal tissue we are looking at…”
Plastic Surgeon Dr. John Diaz – “I guess she was telling us the truth. She doesn’t look like she has an implant.”
Dr. Drew – “You do not have an implant…is there a relief to finally set the record straight?”
Courtney Stodden – “It is. Yes. Thank you.”

Two things:

1. Amy Grindhouse, someone with more knowledge of breasts because she has a pair, points out that the ultrasound wouldn’t detect fat transfers, ala Kim Kardashian’s ass X-ray, thus rendering this entire production completely pointless. Ala Kim Kardashian.

2. If you watch the video (after the jump), it looks to me like they actually found an implant and then proceeded to pretend they didn’t. Because, seriously, look at Courtney’s face when the ultrasound technician says they found something under the muscle. That’s the face of someone realizing she just got screwed over by Dr. Drew and not someone who’s been falsely accused of lying. Then again, I’m assuming some sort of cognizance in regards to her surroundings. I should probably stop doing that.

TECH: Yup, we found an implant.
COURTNEY: *thinks about lollipops*

Photo: Ryan Burch/Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers

superficial

  1. MomsBasement

    First and nasty as a dirty diaper filled with bad Indian food.

  2. Why is she wearing stripper shoes?

    • Oscar

      Oh she always wears those… Even in bare feet I noticed she stands on her toes like she is in high heels. I think perhaps she has Barbie feet and high heels are simply the most practical option…. because you know, she would look like an idiot if she wore flats and walked around on her tippy toes.

  3. jayelle

    why does she ALWAYS have to look like a hooker?! she is so bizarre. is she on drugs? is she a drunk? bc this is very odd…. she is so strange. where are her parents? are THEY on drugs?

  4. jayelle

    hahaha stripper shoes… why is she crossing her legs like she’s a prostitute? why does she ALWAYS wear that tacky arm band?! she needs a publicist and stylist STAT!!!

  5. Jinxy

    Just big, giant square boobs that look faker than fake. Somehow that’s even sadder. What’s up with Grandpa Stodden, the new hubby dressing up like his teen wife. That’s uber creepy. Square boobs is sure to have a long career with that jacked up mouth of hers and drop out brain. Whoray for Hollywood!

  6. chev70

    She has implants.

    • XD

      Given how she looks in a hospital gown, I’m sure she doesn’t have implants. She just stuffs/pads the hell out of her tops.

  7. Richard McBeef

    She is just goddamn ugly, that’s all there is to it.

    And Dr. Drew should probably get to killing himself soon. He has a show that ultrasounds plastic teenagers to determine if their fake tits are fake or not? Really? That shit is dumber than the baby daddy shit that normally dominates the daytime airwaves.

  8. jayelle

    she must have implants. the heels, the clear bra straps, the makeup… implants just go with the whole thing.

    oh, and she’s also a BEARD soooo…

  9. Tiny Vomit

    I am not sure whether it is more frightening that she is indeed 17 and looks/acts like that, or that she’s 35 and looks/acts like that.

    All I am sure of is that the outside is scary, and the inside is too.

  10. Deacon Jones

    After Dr. Drew’s XXth patient died, do you think he was sitting at dinner one night, and just said

    “Who am I kidding? Time to start doing some Maury Povich material and make some REAL money.”

  11. JC

    “I am concerned, however,” the plastic surgeon continued, “about the massive, system-wide skank infection you appear to have.”

  12. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, we have confirmed that Courtney’s breasts are real and that her vagina is large enough to queef out a grown man.”

  13. Dri

    really…the whole point of plastic surgey is to look younger isn’t it?so why trade a young face with a tranny and older face? it’s not like she was ugly before, even fame isn’t worht it…oh wait

  14. Frank Burns

    Dr. Drew’s apparent plan to sink lower every six months is really on track.

  15. Johnny P!

    Doctor: “We found something… yes… IT’S…A… ohhh, no, it’s not an implant. Just a bag of silicone where her heart should be. Well, she’s implant-free, folks!”

  16. Mouse

    Sure, she doesn’t have implants. She just wears three extreme push up bras (with crapass tacky clear bra straps) with chicken cutlets and eight tons of underwire in order to hoist them up to her neck. You can see in those bikini pics, the bottom of the bra doesn’t even touch her ribcage due to all the padding.

  17. Dr. Drew does damage dignifying dingbats.

  18. Capitalist Pancake

    Saying you don’t have implants isn’t the same as saying you don’t have augmented breasts. I don’t suppose the average daytime show viewer can grasp that concept though….

  19. Buddy the Elf

    Couldn’t they have Carbon Dated her fucking face while they had her strapped down?

  20. catapostrophe

    I don’t know for whom I feel sorrier–Dr. Drew or anyone who watched this horseshit [including me, just now].

  21. forrest gump

    if she does & looks better…………
    ……….WHAT’S THE PROPBLEM, folks?

    • Anon

      Well, she has lots of problems. But to directly respond to your comment — You say that if she has implants and looks better, there’s no problem. If she has implants, however, she looks far, far worse. Implants or not, she looks worse. But if she had implants, one of the many problems would be that she/her family paid good money to get her teenage body filled with plastic so that she could become a pathetic reality show-seeking skanky whore before she even hits 18.

    • jumpin_j

      Umm… maybe it’s that she’s a liar?

    • “WHAT’S THE PROPBLEM, folks?”

      The problem is that and morbidly obese fatties and uggos are jealous of her. It makes them feel good to talk smack about a hottie like Courtney while they stuff their faces with cool ranch Doritos and Diet Coke.

      • bulgarian nights

        Did you finally figure out the internet, Mrs. Stodden?

      • bettynuggs

        We’re all jealous because she married the now-old, skinny twerp from the Green Mile?

      • Pzyko

        A hottie? Are we talking about the same person here? I really hope not. Unless you think 30 year old looking teenagers with pounds of makeup are hot. Maybe you need glasses.

  22. Bianca

    She didn’t have fat transfer as she she was always thin and didn’t have enough fat to lipo and then put in her chest. Besides, fat looks norma and squishy; this looks like 2 giant squares bolted on. How this “showed” she didn’t have them, I have no clue, but nobody is buying they’re real.

  23. Keep it Positive

    Dr. Drew is Satan.

  24. Keep it Positive

    With all that make up she wears, you carve your initials into her face and never touch skin.

  25. The Everlasting Know-It-All

    The doc could just grab them firmly, one in each hand, or even just give her a hug. Fake tits feel like rocks because they don’t compress.

    • kk

      Have you personally felt silicone or saline? neither one is a solid substance so I don’t no why would think implants would feel like a ‘rock’. If the implant is too large and there isn’t enough of natural breast tissue then the implant CAN appear ‘bolted on’. I have implants..my breast were 34a and now im 34b. You would NEVER no mine weren’t real, isn’t that the point of plastic surgery?? mine feel soft, they jiggle, they have a natural slope.

      • The Everlasting Know-It-All

        Uhh, yes I have. I’ve had the same boobs in my hands before and after the implants, and yes they feel like rocks! Ok, well maybe they aren’t technically and literally as hard as limestone, but they sure are noticeably harder than real breasts.

  26. it had to be said

    Can you imagine if you were Dr. Drew. You were a serious addiction doctor until you met Adam Carolla. A decade later you are watching some flavor of the week bimbo get her fake tits ultrasounded. How many beach houses do you need, Drew? Also, if you decide to end it all, take that asshole Oz with you.

    • Venom

      He was never a serious “doctor” and I put doctor in quotations because I really don’t consider any of his kind actual physicians.

      He is and has always been a famewhore first and that is all he cares about. There is a guy just like him here in my town, cheesy bastard who does segments on the news every week calling himself a family therapist. He even completed the douchebag cheesy persona buy buying a convertible Porsche the other day. I just shake my head every time I see him and think, this tool really thinks he is going to be the next Dr. Drew.

  27. kerrcarto

    Implants or not. That is still one ugly dude.

  28. MInky Wail

    Rather than helping to create another famous for being famous, did nothing to deserve her fame Kimette, Dr Drew needs to put down the ultrasound, pick up a notebook, and really spend some time helping this chick. He took the Hippocratic Oath after all, and giving this poor kid airtime is definitely doing harm. To America.

  29. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, the site’s not working: I keep clicking on “View Original”, but I never see her body pre-surgery.

  30. SminkyPinky

    Didn’t Dr Drew once have at least a modicum of credibility?

  31. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Alex
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, those are real boobs… Is lying her ass off a sport for this bitch? 17 my ass!!! Which by the way is 32 and looks 10 times better than this bitch’s.

  32. She hasn’t learned much yet….Don’t you know you have to release a sex tape to get your career going?

    Prediction: She releases a sex tape at 18 to catapult her career. So who wants to see a wrinkly 52 year old piss on her? I’m out.

  33. Beefarino

    That’s not the only thing that has been implanted in her.

  34. They should ultra her skull, see what’s in there. Probably the same tissue as her Teen Titties Titan Force.

  35. Dinosaurland

    “There’s something under the muscle… but I’m really behind on my car payments, so… I bet it’s just a bone. Or something. Please still pay me.”

  36. Clarence Beeks

    who gives a shit? This was wroth a tv show? This girl is NOBODY trying to be SOMEBODY, and all she is is pathetic.

  37. Damnrobert

    It’s official… this chick is more annoying than Tila Tequila. I thought that record was safe.

  38. Trevor

    I love the site, absolutely hate the pop up ads that stop me from my “the superficial” quick fix on my iPhone. You guys need to work on that!!

    • Michael

      I agree. The stories are depressing and make you hot that these hookers are successful while America is going through a recession (I think, I’m hearing weird rumblings). But damn do I love this site. People with a brain who take the piss out of these famewhores are winners in my book.

  39. BennySwan

    This chicks face is all busted up. If I had tv money I’d date a hot chick.

  40. Dr Tim

    I have a specially designed Penis that, when rubbed between her boobs rapidly while lubricated, will let us all know the truth.

  41. Timo

    Was this something people were worrying about?

  42. celebutard

    Now do her abs!

  43. chris

    Annnddd…. her tan isn’t real either.

  44. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    “Daddy’s getting tired, honey. I’m just going to prop my chin here for a moment.”

  45. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    That may be the best “proof” right there that she could be telling the truth about not having implants. The bra cup is WAY bigger than the boob coming out of it.

  46. rican

    Struggling for content Dr Drew?

  47. JonnyTopside

    I’d Love to bang her. Wait is she 16 or 18? If she’s 16 I’m only kidding.

  48. Kae

    I can’t believe this was enough of an issue to end up on Dr. Drew.

    And we’ll all know the truth as soon as she’s “18″ and the inevitable sex tape is leaked as part of the divorce fight.

  49. Tifa

    All they had to do is turn a flashlight on under those orbs and they’d look like headlights.

  50. mrsmass

    so anyone notice that her boobs in that robe are pretty much non existent? no where near as big as the illusion she’s trying to create with the double/triple padded bra.

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