‘Let’s Celebrate Equality With Courtney Stodden’s New, Misshapen Boobs!’ Said No Gay Ever

June 28th, 2013 // 69 Comments

It’s been an oddly barren breast desert this week (I know people from the south have magic, Paula Deen. I’ve seen True Blood.), so here’s Courtney Stodden squeezing her new implants into a rainbow bikini because she loves gay rights so much and is not at all capitalizing on an event she knows nothing about. Her grandma was in a DOMA once. How dare you?

But if these are doing nothing for you, someone built “The Homer” from the Uncle Herb episode of The Simpsons which would fill even Michael Jackson with enough joy to make his corpse rise from the grave. And then go right back in after realizing that’s not a real little boy in the back, but you get my point.

Photos: Matthew Symons/Coleman-Rayner


  1. Brooke

    Fish, get your priorities straight! I almost missed The Homer because I am naturally inclined to scroll past outlet sale bottle blondes. Lead with the car!

  2. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this one of those “StraightBait” videos Tobias was talking about?

  3. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Really? …

  4. EJ

    Good lord, she needs to let those babies settle. They’re still swollen and hard-looking. But with those forced cantaloupes and lucite heels, she’s really giving Shauna Sand a run for her whore money.

  5. cc

    Sad thing is, if she’d left herself alone she’d probably be very pretty.

  6. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    See what I mean? Just imagine this with natural colored hair, breasts proportionate to her body, and a lot less make up. She’d probably be cute as hell.

  7. Confusus

    Just leak the sex tape and be done with it.

  8. Soft Serve

    What equality? This discrimination by the government against the unmarried has only been extended, not redressed. Why should marriage – a fundamentally religious concept – be favored by government tax breaks? Its time to eliminate any government role in marriage!

    • When I got married I lost about $3000 a year in tax deductions. Marriage only gives you tax breaks if one doesn’t have a job.

    • Sorry, but it isn’t a “fundamentally religious” concept in western civilization just because the US allows it to be performed by clergy. Sure, most civilizations have created a ceremony around it invoking various blessings from whatever gods they worship, but long before Christianity started making up a list of sacraments, it was first and foremost a civil matter in Roman society – and it’s that Roman model of single-partner marriage that western civilization recognizes now, not the Judean tribal model of multiple wives that existed in Christ’s time. Because marriage was a major determining factor of economic and political gain for both men and women, it was the Roman state – not any priest, temple or other religious institution – that took precedence and drew up the legal requirements that had to be met before it could take place. The religious aspects of the actual ceremony were layered on top of the practical and businesslike aspect of that civil contract base, just the way they are now.

      • Soft Serve

        Sigh. Marriage predates the written word. That the Romans were the first to get bureaucratic about it (insert golf clap here) does not somehow dispel its religious foundations. Pilgrims to America would have thought a notion of atheistic marriage ludicrous, if not heretical and offensive. But by all means, name one other item in government that has a parallel associated event that takes place in a church.

        The current manifestation of the marriage state – wherever you want to place its origins – represents a government-supported financially punitive state for the unmarried, and therefore must be abolished. Marital status should not define tax rates! And the recent decisions allowing gay couples to extend benefits to their partners only highlights the marriage disparity. People should be allowed to extend their benefits to whomever they choose, without having to involve a governmental marriage contract!!

      • Think again. Without the written word you have no proof that it even existed at all, was marriage as we know it, or that whatever authority ruled that community was religious rather than secular. Furthermore, whether the pilgrims would consider any notion “heretical or offensive” is a highly idiotic argument in itself, primarily because thankfully they didn’t actually found this country. Thankfully, because they (along with the Anglicans who ran Virginia Colony and actually taxed all religious dissenters) would have found the Establishment clause “offensive and heretical” before anything else. Second, they still followed English Common Law and made sure all the civil requirements were met before there was a religious ceremony, proving that they understood the concept of marriage as a civil contract first, even if you do not. FYI, since civil contracts of marriage were usually considered binding on signature, it’s your term of “atheistic marriage” that’s the ludicrous idea here. Claiming you had a civil pre-contract of marriage with another woman at the time you married your wife would provide you with an excuse to get out of your present unhappy or childless marriage, even though it had been sanctified by the church – one more proof the civil aspect actually had more weight when it came to marriage, not the religious authority. Try and guess where that concept comes from.

        Having to meet various government requirements for a marriage license means that women – underage or not – can’t be coerced, abducted, and forcibly married without their, or their parents’, consent, that incest or other abuses like plural marriage aren’t allowed, and that(prior to antibiotics) incurable venereal diseases weren’t passed on to unsuspecting spouses or offspring. In Europe you actually have to have a separate civil ceremony before you can have a religious one – it’s only in the US that the clergy is allowed to officiate for the government, which is where people like you get the absurd notion that the government is somehow involved in sanctifying marriage through a “parallel associated event”.

        Governments don’t sanctify shit – they record changes in legal status and tax you and your property and your heirs accordingly, and all your really bad arguments won’t get them out of marriage as a civil contract, because it can involve every single one of those. Government also gives people who have kids tax breaks, because when they get older they can tax them, too – so why don’t you also start whining that there’s also a government-supported financially punitive state for the childless and “therefore [it] must be abolished”? I suggest you don’t pay your taxes for a start and show us all how well that goes.

      • Soft Serve

        “Without the written word you have no proof that it even existed at all” – hahahaha! Oh, I hadn’t realized! Anything that wasn’t written down didn’t exist. Since no one was there to write down when the Earth was formed, I guess we don’t exist either. Tell me, is the converse true, if something is written down, it must exist?

      • Obviously you don’t realize a lot, since you clearly don’t understand there’s a difference between the physical world and the tangible evidence that its changes leave over time, and the limitations of cultural anthropology when it comes to an utter lack of data to explain how a society functioned. Geology=/= cultural anthropology. If there’s no written word to go by, determining if a prehistoric society had anything like marriage, (let alone as we define the concept) would be dependent on art or other physical evidence – but without the written word, trying determine whether it was a primarily religious rite, or an act that was defined by the society in a more practical way, is pure conjecture. This is why your statements are incredibly idiotic. When you’re as clueless as you are, never try making shit up to back up your specious arguments – it never works.

    • Found the libertarian.

      • Soft Serve

        How is wanting to spend what I’ve earned in a manner I see fit ‘libertarian’? People shouldn’t have to participate in a marriage before they can decide who enjoys benefits they have fairly earned. Right now, marriage has a 50% failure rate, and is regularly used to swindle our immigration system – and this is the what our government wants us to sign up for before we can extend our benefits.

        What if your girlfriend loses her job – you want to be forced into marriage just so she can be part of your benefit plan? Or how about a buddy of yours with varying periods of unemployment and raising a small child – you want to marry him just so he can get health care for his kid if needed? Its ridiculous. Its unfair. It needs to end now.

  9. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I didn’t even know there was a “faker looking the Farrah’s first pair” option.

  10. The “Equality Rally” seems to have had a pretty poor turnout. Just two gay guys and a tranny.

  11. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Chick’s like that made me gay.

  12. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    We have so much in common! I like ugly guys too!

  13. My son is also named Bort.

    I fucking died when I saw the “BORT” license plate.

  14. Chick-Filled-Eh.

  15. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    Dammit, just do a porn already so I can stop wondering.

  16. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    Hahaha, this is just the most ridiculous thing EVER!

  17. Swearin

    Compared to last year, she’s not looking too bad….

    Between her and the Homer car, my penis is so confused right now

  18. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    This photo is awesome. Thank you.

  19. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    this is too much…hahahhahaha

  20. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    carol rules
    Commented on this photo:

    oh lordy…cheese sandwich

  21. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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  22. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    Why does she even bother getting “dressed”

  23. Emma Watson's vagina

    one of the few celebs I never whacked off to. and glad. wish I could say the same for Alyssa Milano,Rose McGowan,Emma Watson,Lindsay Lohan, Sam Ronson,Dina Lohan, Daryl Hannah,Brooke Shields,Kim Richards(almost 30 years for her.),Ke$hia,Amanda Bynes,.Alicia Silverstone,Christina Applegate,Michelle Rodriguez and Tyra Banks.

  24. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    Those two guys were straight before she got there. She’s a turner, for sure.

  25. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    i dont get the pose.


  26. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    Which one of those homos is you Fish :/

  27. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    I’m loving the shoes straight out of the Pimp of the Year competition. Can’t spot the goldfish, though.

  28. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    They don’t look happy to be there.

  29. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    HAHAHAHA!!!! She is a total trainwreck!!! And, clearly I’m one in my own right if not only am I looking at her ridiculous trasht photos, but I’m also commenting! OMG!!!! What has become of my life???!!!!

  30. MFB

    I swear Angelyne has a voodoo doll of Courtney that she’s stabbing needles into in about 3 minutes!!!

  31. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s how she’s gonna top Farrah’s squirting, DP.

  32. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Whomever is guiding her “career” will eventually lead to some desperate homemade sextape for needed public attention because she keeps doing these hackneyed photoshoots and music videos that just highlights how bad and unflattering she is. This is not sexy and the porno hooker fuck me shoes reminds me too much of Shauna Sands., and we know where her career is.

  33. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess the take away from this photo is that she turns straight men gay.

  34. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Ironically enough, the two guys look more alike and are closer together than Courtney’s new boobs.

  35. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    if those things are turning guys gay now, whats gonna happen in 10 years when shes 43?

  36. Her new bolt on boobs will definitely clear the way for her to tour the country’s Strip Clubs giving lap dances, and later a Vivid contract for her first porn.

    • Weaselmouse

      Here’s prayin’ she never makes a porn with Doug. What would be more destructive to the world? That or a nuclear bomb going off?

  37. I imagine this meant a lot to Doug.

  38. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Each week, she’s looking more desperate for fame.

  39. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    She’s done the Marilyn Monroe photo shoot already? May as well trash her image also.

  40. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    Pretty sure those guys are straight. Just dressed to look gay. They look miserable until she sandwiches her tits and ass between them.

  41. her chalky texture and rancid aroma will always overpower any hint of sexy yum-yum… with a cotton candy finish.

  42. Uggg… she’s so gross and fake. Not only are those ta ta’s fake, she’s also had a nose job.


  43. She looks like she is waiting for sweaty pig sex, Now i can’t eat pork rinds.

  44. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    Probably have her lips plumped next.

  45. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    Seen here, inspiring the next generation….

  46. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    How long before she sports a tattoo?

  47. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
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    I’m starting to like her. As someone else mentioned, like a porn star without the piercings and tattoos.

  48. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    cant she just stand straght?

  49. WonkyEye

    two dudes and a tranny…. what’s not to understand?

  50. Courtney Stodden Implants Bikini
    McGraff Crimedog
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugly, worn-out ho

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