Courtney Stodden’s Implants Are Playing The Field

January 31st, 2014 // 60 Comments

By all means, Courtney Stodden should’ve skyrocketed to fame by now, yet something seems to be holding her back. And that something is apparently watching men attempt to interact with her cartoon breasts on dates because here she is on the beach yesterday with another suitor after going out for dinner just three days ago with David Weintraub. So we can’t be far off from finding out her rental rates for any budget (No credit check needed!) which is what’s happening here, right? How hard is it to put a card reader between a pair of boobs? They make them for the iPad, and that’s fake tits’ nerdy cousin.

Photos: Coleman-Rayner

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  1. I don’t understand it. Why doesn’t she just do a porn already? I mean, what’s the point of all…..this?

    • First a reality show, then porn.

    • JC

      I think chicks in this category (see also, Farrah “Squirt Butt” Abraham) think they’re somehow above porn, so even if they do make a fake sex tape, they have to keep trying to get attention elsewhere based on talents they don’t have. Sadly, they don’t realize that an actual porn star like Stoya is a lot more interesting and respectable than they are.

    • Deacon Jones

      I’ve been asking my penis the same question for years now every time I clean him up.

      • Johnny Barbells

        …actually, i think you’ve got it all wrong …i think that, unlike abraham or kardashian or gosselin or any of their ilk, courtney is 100% self-aware …as far as i can tell, she does’nt put forth any pretensions about being a singer, or a writer, or an actress, or even a model really …she’s not trying to be anything other than what she is …she’s like a modern day zsa zsa gabor (famous for being famous) …ever since she showed up on tosh.0 and totally played along with a joke that made fun of her, i started to dig her …i’m not saying her rise to fame was “respectable”, but, she’s not even close to being as bad as most strippers i’ve known…

  2. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Commented on this photo:

    What is it with whores and footballs lately?

  3. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Paul
    Commented on this photo:

    MA-MA !!

  4. Robb7

    She’s not worthy of this site. Dump this POS already!!

  5. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, Im not even joking I would be stalking her if I lived on the west coast. And, wasnt..married.

  6. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm. I wonder what she wears to bed?

  7. Bane

    If that chick’s 18, I’ll kiss your ass in Macy’s window.

    That face is busted up.

  8. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    hitting this would be like shooting fish in a barrel

  9. Margaret

    MUch better as a brunette. I would do with all of your peni as a brunette though i hate giant fake bloobs so I would keep those to the hither side and enter thither.

  10. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Just for laffs I went back into the SW vaults to take a look at what this poor dummy used to look like before she lost her soul.
    But there were no laffs there….it was frankly depressing.
    Shame on the MD who stuffed those whoppers into that tiny frame. FIRST DO NO HARM

  11. Heels on the beach. That means you have class.

    If George Zimmerman wore heels more often I bet he get more respect.

  12. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Nick Papagiorgio
    Commented on this photo:

    Balls to the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

  13. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s being a little forward, staring at her tits with his cock in his hand.

  14. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually looks more professional than John Kerry.

  15. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    “Has anyone seen my dignity?”

    “You left it right there all over my beach towel.”

  16. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Commented on this photo:

    “See there hiding behind that sand dune with the binoculars and fake mustache. That’s my ex- Doug.”

  17. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Yikes. Even the shadiest safari doesn’t let you get THAT close to the animals.

  18. tod

    i bet she’s crazy in the sack. It would be fun. Id love to see her in porn.

  19. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Commented on this photo:

    TOUCHDOWN !

  20. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Bane
    Commented on this photo:

    Mind the gap.

  21. You owe me a keyboard I just spit coffee all over mine after reading your last comment :)
    Well done sir well done.

  22. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    funny she still wears her bras 2 sizes too big

  23. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Give credit where credit is due. Her ass looks pretty good here.

    It really is a shame she fucked herself up physically.

  24. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    There should be a thought bubble over his head ‘I can’t wait till she plays wide receiver.’

  25. Peter

    How old is she? She looks 30+

  26. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Commented on this photo:

    See you know this is posed because she’s wearing heels. You can’t play basketball in heels

  27. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Commented on this photo:

    If the WNBA was full of Courtney Stoddens I would watch it more

  28. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Max
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Stodden’s Implants ARE the field!

  29. Swearin

    You don’t understand: Weintraub is the money, this one is the gay friend you invite to staged photo shoots where you pretend to play sports to capitalize on the Super Bowl hype. Next she’ll be out at a club making out with a girl, and the next morning she’ll be eating breakfast with the hunky straight guy she slept with the night before.

  30. J

    I bet he was paid to be there.

  31. ace11

    Lucky Dog

    Must be with her for her stimulating conversations

  32. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    ElPollodiablo
    Commented on this photo:

    You could fit a large majority of calculated pi on the front of that bimbotron.

  33. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    ElPollodiablo
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonder how many times she dribbled the wrong spherical object…

  34. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Commented on this photo:

    She could be reciting the secret to peace in the Middle East, and all that guy is going to have on his mind is tits and labia.

  35. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Ryan
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she still smells like some 50 year old dude.

  36. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “Those are nice!”
    “Wanna touch them?”

  37. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    El cacas
    Commented on this photo:

    there he cums…

  38. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Commented on this photo:

    Those tits actually look good on her. She’s in great shape.

  39. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, they’re not real? You can’t tell!”

    “Yeah, and those photogs? They were just here.”

    “What a crazy coincidence! Oh well, hope they won’t mind if we play this game that involves innocently bouncing up and down.”

    “Something tells me you and I are going to get along really well, overly trusting dude.”

  40. Get her to go on the half-time show of the Superbowl and then arrange a wardrobe malfunction.

  41. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Sil
    Commented on this photo:

    J-Wow is looking good. Pregnancy becomes her

  42. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have a face you know!”
    “I don’t care!”

  43. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Dr Plaid
    Commented on this photo:

    Behold the gravitational force between three huge globes. It looks like the silicone in her tits wants the merge with the rubber basket ball and become one huge Franken-tit that could bounce to the moon.

  44. wow

    I like her ’cause she knows she’s ridiculous (just read her bio @ Twitter) and she loves it.
    And yeah, I’m a girl and I have a crush on her. I used to be obsessed with Lindsay Loha, and now Courtney looks like a Lindsay without the acting career, so I kinda like her more.
    Yeah, I’m ridiculous too =D

  45. wow

    I like her ’cause she knows she’s ridiculous (just read her bio @ Twitter) and she loves it.
    And yeah, I’m a girl and I have a crush on her. I used to be obsessed with Lindsay Lohan, and now Courtney looks like a Lindsay without the acting career, so I kinda like her more.
    Yeah, I’m ridiculous too =D

  46. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Commented on this photo:

    Playing ball with heels… SMH…

  47. … Nuthin wrong wit some cartoon boobs!

  48. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Erin
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL. That’s a padded bikini top from Victoria’s Secret, too. I can’t believe she’s inflated her chest to cartoonish proportions, and she’s STILL padding those suckers up.

  49. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    really?
    Commented on this photo:

    this chick is actually giving me a boner now. Anyone else, or is that just me?

  50. Courtney Stodden Thong Bikini Football Gay Male Model
    Shelby
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks prettier with dark hair.

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