Courtney Stodden On Her Honeymoon: ‘I Had a 24-Hour Lady Boner’

September 23rd, 2011 // 73 Comments

For those of you not exhaustively following the chronicles of Child Bride and The 51-Year-Old Actor Who Never Quite Made It, But Fuck Working at Walmart, Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison‘s Hail Mary actually worked and they’ve since landed a reality show deal with Merv Griffin Entertainment. In the meantime, here they are continuing Courtney’s trend of saying ridiculous shit she read in the back of an old Penthouse during her Dairy Queen shifts. Via RadarOnline:

On her honeymoon:
“We went to the Chateau in Hollywood it was so beautiful it was a wonderful experience. I was aroused for 24 hours straight.”

On why her marriage is so controversial:
“I think it was because he was 51 and his life is over and I’m just venturing out on mine. I’m here to make the second half of [Doug’s] life a lot better!”

On what she wants to study in college:
“I would go to college and study all of Doug,” she laughed. “All of his body, and all the elements within that. What they do and what they still do. It would be a lot of fun.”

And the most revelatory comment she’ll ever make:
“He’s cooking for me, cleaning for me, he’s like the wife around the house. He picks up the slack around the house and that’s very inspiring to me.”

And there you have it. The dude’s her goddamn butler. I knew it had to be something. Although honestly I was hoping it was my first guess that 16-year-old girls really did get way sluttier and no longer recoil at the scent of a failed life. So if you’ll excuse me, I have a van to return and possibly remove an airbrushed Ram-Man riding a Pegasus from. You promised me love, you ram-bastard!

Photos: Splash News / Video: RadarOnline

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  1. Venom

    She would make a great pornstar or escort.
    She is worth about a hundred or two.
    She is a total slut. I bet she just grabs random dudes off the street and bangs the crap out of them whenever and wherever.

  2. lolz

    I hope she’s a beard for her gay husband- if not she has a sad life ahead. If she doesn’t love him she will have lost some of the best years of her life confined in a loveless marriage, and if she does love him, he will die when she is in her 40′s or 50′s and no one will want her then.

    • lolz

      ugh I just saw the video- she is a tramp. And stroking the inside of her own thigh during the interview. Real classy, tramp.

  3. right

    it won’t be long, she will be getting plowed in every hole doing porn. She is the hardest lookin 16 ever, and dumb as a brick to boot.

  4. TheEndIsHere

    .
    LOL — a blind man can see right through that girl’s phony behavior..

    She’s such an awful actress … that she actually practices … during her interviews … in front of her husband (and the world) … how she will ‘FAKE her ORGASMS’ for later..

    She is the WORST ‘beard’ (ooops .. no wait … I meant … ‘bride’ … yeah .. that’s what I meant … ‘bride’ … lol) EVER.

    ———-­———-­———-­–.

    Also … does anyone else wonder if Courtney Stodden may secretly be … the ‘prom-nigh­t bathroom-stall’ baby of … late televangel­ist ‘Tammy Faye Baker’?.

    Come on … just admit it … they both look a lot alike –- especiall­y ‘around the eyes’. LOL.
    .

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