Courtney Stodden On Her Honeymoon: ‘I Had a 24-Hour Lady Boner’

September 23rd, 2011 // 73 Comments

For those of you not exhaustively following the chronicles of Child Bride and The 51-Year-Old Actor Who Never Quite Made It, But Fuck Working at Walmart, Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison‘s Hail Mary actually worked and they’ve since landed a reality show deal with Merv Griffin Entertainment. In the meantime, here they are continuing Courtney’s trend of saying ridiculous shit she read in the back of an old Penthouse during her Dairy Queen shifts. Via RadarOnline:

On her honeymoon:
“We went to the Chateau in Hollywood it was so beautiful it was a wonderful experience. I was aroused for 24 hours straight.”

On why her marriage is so controversial:
“I think it was because he was 51 and his life is over and I’m just venturing out on mine. I’m here to make the second half of [Doug’s] life a lot better!”

On what she wants to study in college:
“I would go to college and study all of Doug,” she laughed. “All of his body, and all the elements within that. What they do and what they still do. It would be a lot of fun.”

And the most revelatory comment she’ll ever make:
“He’s cooking for me, cleaning for me, he’s like the wife around the house. He picks up the slack around the house and that’s very inspiring to me.”

And there you have it. The dude’s her goddamn butler. I knew it had to be something. Although honestly I was hoping it was my first guess that 16-year-old girls really did get way sluttier and no longer recoil at the scent of a failed life. So if you’ll excuse me, I have a van to return and possibly remove an airbrushed Ram-Man riding a Pegasus from. You promised me love, you ram-bastard!

Photos: Splash News / Video: RadarOnline

superficial

  1. Really… A lady boner for a gay guy?
    Damn, she’ll squirt all over herself once he takes her shoe shopping!

  2. Lydia

    i still don’t believe she’s 16. she looks like she’s rounding on 40 with all that badly done plastic surgery. only her brain is in its teens which probably comes from all the meth and cocaine she’s done

  3. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Reality Show
    Bobo
    Commented on this photo:

    Mom and daughter….both fame whores!

  4. Rocky

    That chick already looks like worn down leather from an old Chrysler K-Car

  5. Ray

    I’m sorry, but who is this whore…..?

  6. welldoneson

    What a fucking stupid thing to say.
    Bitch must be daft.

  7. oh_dear

    Anna Nicole Smith, minus the class.

  8. hmna

    16, my ass.

  9. Why don’t the cable networks just park a shitload of cameras in front of the trailer park laundromat and call it a TV show. Some inbred asshole is bound to watch and make celebrities out of the “stars.”

    • Satan's bitch

      LOL – Christ on a crutch, man, you’ve just given someone an idea! There goes the RFDTV channel now!

      • Schmidtler

        as hard as you may try, there just is not any idea so stupid or ridiculous that you can have any confidence at all that it won’t end up being the next concept for a reality tv show. Go copyright your laundromat idea before somebody makes it into a show and screws you out of some money. keep in mind, there’s already a show about tattooed midgets that rescue pit bulls.

      • Diana

        LMAO these comments on here are so fucking funny. How do you people think of this crap? bahahah

  10. TheDevilYouKnow

    Holy shit this girl is an idiot.

  11. Clarence Beeks

    will someone PLEASE shut this person UP?

  12. Satan's bitch

    BULLSHIT. That is all.

  13. Fletch

    Quit with all the games and just put out a sex tape.

  14. Dude of Dudes

    Evidently 51 is when life ends. Give that bitch a honorary PHD already. Then run over her with a bus.

  15. Richard McBeef

    Why just watch the reality TV show when you can go to Kentucky and live it yourself? You can even get a real 16 year old rather than beat ass 20 something going on 40.

  16. Cock Dr

    This brain dead trollop seems wiley enough to dump the deadweight butler boy once the TV show falls through.
    She’ll be back hanging off of a stripper’s pole soon.

  17. Tuppy

    She must be under age, there hasn’t been any porn released… Yet.

  18. julie

    Have you seen the Nightline interview of these two?! She CREEPS ME OUT. When he’s talking to the interviewer, her eyes and lips are moving like she’s in a porn.

  19. Enidaj

    I just don’t want to live on a planet where people like this exist.

  20. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Reality Show
    zyg
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone needs to take a sample from her and carbon date it. Or count the rings in her leg or something because if she’s 16 then

  21. anonym

    god damn.

    never thought a human could be so dumb.

    her parents fucked her up good.

  22. Courtney Stodden Doug Hutchison Reality Show
    Dan
    Commented on this photo:

    If she is 16 then I am probably about 18.

  23. Beefarino

    The Old and the Not So Beautiful. I think when she turns *18* the sextape comes out.

  24. drake's coffee cake

    …if she *makes it* to 18, that is…’cocaine is a helluva drug’

  25. leah

    as much as i am against this…they do seem pretty happy dont they? i mean even she does, considering she is getting majorly ripped off in the my man has a hot body and face department…

  26. butt juice

    I suddenly feel as though I reek of pedophilia. Excuse me, I need to shower..

  27. CranAppleSnapple

    That ruched boob tube dress was in my sisters closet in 1980. What a waste of a time machine.

  28. The Observer

    I love that at 51 she feels his life is “over”. Let’s see if she feels that way at 51.

    What a boob.

  29. Sweetbabyjesus

    Someone needs to turn this child onto a strapless bra. No more clear straps. You aren’t fooling anyone and if you are really just sixteen, do you really have to wear a bra with a dress like that? Hmm…..

  30. Montana

    Senior Pepe naaaaaaiiiiiillleeed iiiiit!!! WATCH THE VIDEO. This dude is gay. Liberace gay.(Stroking his F*ing little yappy maltese rat…) His old balls have not deflowered a 16 year old. Well, not a 16 year old VAGINA.

  31. Brooke

    Twenty bucks says when the ratings plummet after the third episode Doug comes out of the closet and Courtney appears on Dancing With The Stars and has returning champion Chaz Bono fall on her mid-tango. Wait… Can I pay twenty bucks to make that happen?

  32. Tootles

    The last time this used bitch was 16 was in 1985.

  33. What a man won’t do for snatch. Especially some pussy that looks like her. Too bad she is using the shit out of him. We will soon be reading about her quick demise into obscurity followed by their divorce and soon after will follow the fuck in Doug’s ass – pay her alot of money bullshit. TMZ will keep us informed.

  34. forrest gump

    believe it or not: HE EVEN F*CKED THE MAID, folks!!

  35. gumption

    ok, she did not say half the shit quoted up above in that interview. she is no doubt a full on retard but she said other retarded gems, not the ones noted. thanks

  36. jess

    Her parents should ground her for life!

  37. “We gotta get a move-on, honey. The trailer park called and they found my panties.”

  38. Anon

    Did anyone see her poor dog in the video? Dyed pink…

  39. Does she have progeria? Oldest 16 year old ever.

  40. Governor Scott Walker

    I weep for our future.

  41. Matt

    Never made it? You’re talking about Percy from the Green Mile and Horace from Lost, bitch!

  42. drunkrussian

    look at her hands! she’s not 16. put a real 16 yo next to her and compare

  43. Meh

    I just want to punch her in the face.

  44. superfan

    Why do we keep talking about this woman who is more like 30 and trying to be a celebrity? The fact is that you can’t marry in Vegas under 18 with parent’s permission, Vegas isn’t the back woods of the Ozarks. She doesn’t look a day under 25, and that’s me being very nice, and she doesn’t even speak like a teenager. “it was such a beautiful start of this journey and to our marriage, it just sums everything up, beautiful”. Seriously, she is acting stupid and young but then says things that would never come out of an 18 year old’s mouth. Anyone watch MTV? If anyone can point out an episode of any of their reality shows where one girl speaks like that, let me know.
    So I love The Superficial, but I can’t stand the fact that you guys are highlighting people that shouldn’t be famous. Please don’t encourage fame to people like this who in no way deserve it.

    • azgirlgoneast

      so true, i noticed the exact same variations watching her interview! she’s pretty damn good at playing a dumb, naive 16 year old about 90% of the time, but then you’ll come across these slivers of speech that are indicative of a woman much older the other 10%. creepy as hell, when is this case going to be exposed for christ sakes ??!! it’s a total joke and embarrassment to the sad, scrap of a culture we Americans have left :(

  45. Burt

    She’s trying to emulate Marilyn Monroe and failing miserably.

  46. laura

    God, I want to punch this girl repeatedly…

  47. Tristyn

    She has more mileage than my Harley ….

  48. Erin

    Call me crazy, but she looks fathomably 16 in this picture. An over-done whorish 16, but still 16.

  49. Pat C

    Personally, I would like to encourage this behavior of hot teenagers hooking up with men in their 50′s. Otherwise, as I think Howard Stern said, if you’re an old guy who’s not rich you might as well just cut your dick off.

  50. BeyoncesEvilTwin

    As soon as she turns 18 (and I really question if she is even a teenager…if so she’s had a hard life to look like a 30 year old) she’ll do porn. I wish they would go away.

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