Courtney Stodden Tells Victims Of Bullying To ‘Be Themselves.’ Courtney Stodden Said That.

December 7th, 2011 // 111 Comments
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I’d been sitting on this post because I knew it was only a matter of time until Courtney Stodden called up the paparazzi and told them she’s sensually sashaying down saucy streets of sexy sex citizens. Anyway, apparently Courtney has been a long-time crusader against bullying and recently gave some insanely hypocritical advice to victims during an interview with TheFABlife:

“My advice for victims of bullies would be, victims, you need to realize that it’s not [you],” she told TheFABlife. “It’s the bully who’s picking on them, it’s their problem. There’s nothing wrong with the victim. They’re perfect, they’re beautiful, and they need to stay true to themselves. Not just because someone who isn’t true to themselves is picking on you. They need to think about that, realize that and embrace the truth.”

Because if there’s one person who should be telling people to stay true to themselves, it’s the surprisingly naturally cute teenager who turned herself into a transsexual pretend child bride that tweets about banging Santa all day. Did I not mention the Santa banging? She tweets about Santa banging:

- Dear Mr Santa: When you silently sneak down my chimney this year & into my home… I guarantee you will be leaving saying HO-HO-HO! ;) XOs
- Dear Santa: Since you work so HARD to satisfy, I will be leaving you a lil’ more than just creamy cookies for your sweet tooth this year…
- Dear Sweet Santa of Seduction: Oh won’t you come and satisfy my Christmas wish this year by taking a rapturous ride in my slippery sleigh?
- Santa Baby: If I innocently immerse myself in soft white feathery secrets… could I be the alluring angel on top of your big holiday tree?
- Foxy Santa: Your frosty facial goodness completed w/all of your frisky fine fun bags makes me feel erotically flirtatious & festively feisty
- Secret Santa: Id love to lure you in by caressing my red lips up against your rosiness as my lustrous legs lie on top of your levitating lap

The best part of those tweets? This one was sandwiched between them:

Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Happy Sunday! XOs

Dear Jesus,

Thanks for making me so awesome I had to make myself even better by shoving plastic in my tits and taking on a fake persona that marries out of work actors to land a reality show!



P.S. Perhaps one precipitous night you can prance into my primal palace and nail me to your pumping cross. I’ll even help you “rise” again. Wink wink ;D

P.S.S. I’m talking about your erection. Boys get erections. I learned that in school today.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. cc

    Coming from the girl where, when she goes home to her family, her mother locks the door and calls the cops to tell them that the deranged stripper is trying to break in again.

  2. Mouse

    Verily, I violently vomited.

  3. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Mr Peabody
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she trying to hold back the inevitable vomit?

  4. cc

    OMG I just listened to the audio…well, as much as I could stomach. The hilarity starts basically starts as soon as she opens her mouth, but really hits its stride when she refers to herself as an ‘inspiring actress’. Yes, dear, you inspired me to turn my speakers off again.

    • stratacat

      at 2:15, she goes into a rant about how she’s so “rill.” It’s amazing.

      • Satan's bitch

        Her breasts are rill, her hair is rill, everything about her is rill you guys. You guys! For RILL!

      • CranAppleSnapple

        That’s an exact quote from Phoebe Price, also! Do you think they might be alternates, like on United States of Tara?

  5. Area Man

    What is a Courtney Stodden and why is it always on my computer?

  6. ashley

    Someone please shoot me for saying this. I deserve it. Cause they’re actually starting to grow on me. She’s kind of cute if she’s not talking.

  7. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like she’s coming down off whatever she’s on that lets her leave the house looking like that.

  8. I don’t know which group to feel sorriest for – Christians, elves or victims of bullying.

  9. Sensei John Kreese

    Flip the script, bullying is a good thing as it has the effect of boosting the self esteem of the bullier. Sure the kid being bullied gets knocked down, but the bullier gets boosted up.

    It’s the Even Steven episode of Seinfeld.

  10. Trek Girl

    If “yourself” is a heavily made-up, big breasted, low-cut top, short skirt, tight pant, stripper-shoe wearing 17 year old, then you are, indeed, being yourself.

    Isn’t that the whole point of someone “being themself”? Being what you are ,even if people don’t like it, as long as it’s within the law?

    • CranAppleSnapple

      I’m with you and was trying to formulate a similar sentiment said as superlatively but you scooped me. Well said, Trek. :)

  11. D-chi

    Wait, does she even go to school? Did she finish high school?

  12. EricLr

    The full quote was: “Be yourselves…and also do lots of drugs, marry someone who can make up for the daddy who was never there, and get lots of plastic surgery…but especially, be yourselves.”

  13. Dan

    She is so funny. I love the god talk sandwiched in the sex talk.

    Courtney during sex: “That’s it daddy. I’m all yours. You like my tits? Part my legs like Moses parted the Red Sea. ”

    I was raised Baptist.

  14. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Charlie Hodge
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell, these pics were taken at noon, and she’s wearing a goddamn evening gown. The only people who do that are little girls…whoops.

  15. I’m probably a little older than some of you, so I’ll give you the same advice my father gave me regarding bullies. Kick the shit out of them. Beat them like a rented mule.

    This was before the days of some liberal lawyer suing a school district or some gay kid going on TV and telling everybody how he had to change districts.

    Kick the shit out of the bully. If you are too small or too afraid, find three or four other small, afraid kids and kick the shit out of the bully. If you are a kid who isn’t being a bully but you see somebody being a bully, kick the shit out of them.

    Whine all you want about Facebook and Twitter and how much harder it is now. Bullshit. Kick the shit out of the bully. Worked then, it’ll work now.

    What was that advice again?

    Kick the shit out of the bully.

    • i complain a lot

      my dad taught me the same thing and i’ll teach my children the same thing. kids have to learn to stand up for themselves and not be pussies. Gay or straight.

    • DeucePickle

      You’re not wrong, by the way.

    • atheistgirl

      Yeah that’s great advice.
      An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. That way we can all be blind and toothless. It’ll be like being in the mafia.
      And it’ll be really easy to ‘kick the shit’ out of them over the net.

      • Don’t be so naive. Bullied kids know their bully.

        Advice still holds. Kick the shit out of them, then for good measure, beat them with their computer.

    • jamiewithanh

      I’m 28 and my dad taught me the same thing.

    • cc

      I have to agree Eric. Long after I finished university, I started training in MMA (back before it was even called MMA). Frankly, I wished I’d started in grade 7. I wasn’t really bullied, but when I look back on it there are some people I could have and should have ass-kicked.

      I remember once being bullied for a period of time in Grade 9. This asshole always had some bullshit to spout at me or some smirk or sneer. One day I grab the front of his shirt and my forearm across his throat and slammed him backward into a locker. He came back, not very convincingly, with the customary ‘Oh ya? I’ll see you after school!’ After school, I was waiting. He never showed, and whenever he passed me after that, he looked down at his shoes.

      In my experience, teachers and principals are either indifferent or powerless (a bit of both) and the parents of bullies are frequently assholes themselves. That doesn’t leave a lot of options.

  16. modemscrotum

    This guy is always seen in public w/ her grabbing her arm for dear life….how soon before he puts a leash around her neck, its gotta be on the horizon

    • LizzieBeth

      I noticed that too. Why does he always have a grip on her arm likes he’s ready to yank the shit out of her?

    • cp3

      He has to hold her upright. You try walking in stripper heels while fucked up on Xanax. She needs a lil help.

  17. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    I like her. She’s original and she seems friendly.
    But then I like what the bullies are saying too. They’re funny!
    Maybe it’s just me.

  18. Frankie

    With all due respect (cause I like your work here on The Superficial) but if it weren’t for paparazzi and journalists like you… This nasty bitch wouldn’t be relevant AT ALL. She should have had her 15 minutes by now. She speaks and dresses like this because it gets her a LOT of attention. And you guys just eat it up. Sure it’s negative attention but it’s putting her on the map and that’s so frustrating to see. There are plenty of REAL celebrities to give this attention to.

    • Help

      Remember that Carrie Trojan girl who won the Miss America thing because she said something about gay marriage? She has vanished. The same holds for the Kardashians and this chick.

  19. atheistgirl

    Who hasn’t banged Santa?

  20. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ. She looks like that leathery, over-the-hill, 40-something stripper that hangs out behind the club giving old- fashioneds for $ 20.00 after last call.

  21. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh honey, you know what’s happened? I got a runner in my pantyhose. Haha! I’m not wearing pantyhose.”

  22. tom

    Will you please stop with that stupid skank ?

  23. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    If she’s 16 then I’m 112

  24. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like she got herself over-excited when she inflated the right one.

  25. Nanook

    I don’t believe those tweets came from Courtney Stodden. There’s no way that chick could come up with those amazing double entendres. “…could I be the alluring angel on top of your big holiday tree?” Hilarious. And that chick’s both bat-sh*t crazy AND dumber than a box full of hair.

  26. Zee Brat

    Years ago you said you weren’t going to post about Heidi and Spencer anymore. I don’t see how this is any different.

  27. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    The new ‘zoom’ feature has shown me that courtney stodden just got herself a few more white-trash points. She totally has a hillbilly tooth hanging out in that herp mouth of hers!

  28. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    y u so ugly
    Commented on this photo:

    She totally looks like:

  29. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    why is she in an evening gown and he is in jeans and a T with a beanie and a smug no less. Where are they going? playing dress-up with her chicken cutlets and push-up bra?

  30. Ah, yes! Don’t you love advice given by Grade 3 drop-outs?

  31. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    And she has a vagina in her armpit.

  32. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she is about to throw a tantrum cause Grandpa wouldn’t buy her some ice cream.

  33. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    You have two minutes and if you go over your gonna get my knee in your shriven old junk

  34. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    In every kissing photo it’s like he’s Pepe LePew and she’s the cat that’s painted like a skunk.

  35. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    Once in a while one actually does see a very pretty young girl shining through all that baby prostitute makeup.

  36. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is up with her bewbs?

  37. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:


  38. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    only trailer park trash wears a bra like that with a “backless” dress like that…WTFF

  39. Chris

    Wait…what? She’s a virgin……..


    • Chris

      Oh, before she was married….I see.

      I repeat….


  40. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    i wish i had one of those weather-man animation pointer thingies, so i could outline the real boob, and point out all the stuffing underneath.

  41. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    there’s that death grip again. i wish people would stop reporting on these two.

  42. Venom

    Ha Ha Ha, I love this chick. If this is all an act and a crazy persona, she deserves an Oscar.

  43. blah

    Can Doug really not afford to buy this girl some bleach for her damn hair?

  44. Notice how she doesn’t say the actual word “real”? How telling. She is rill fake.

  45. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with all the scraggly short pieces of hair? Did some glorious glistening gushy gum get garbled in her goofy gimpified goldilocks?

    • Kitty

      She bleached them until they snapped off. Getting black hair platinum blonde is an adventure and not a smart one.

  46. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’re right, it DOES sound like the ocean! If I didn’t know better, I’d say it sounded like salt water sloshing around. If I didn’t know better.”

  47. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do you think this is open enough for me to get kicked out of this place, too? Or should I just take off the skirt altogether? I’m taking it off.”

  48. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Doug Hutchison
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice lift shoes, Dougie!

  49. forrest gump


  50. Trying To Remain Calm

    She tweets like a sixty yearbold gay man. Don’t think she is the actual tweeter.

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