What you’re looking at is sweet, innocent, God-fearing Courtney Stodden enjoying a fine Sunday full of church and some light afternoon shopping. And I was going to write a fictitious tweet about her wholesome day of worship and reverence, but after looking at her Twitter account from the past 48 hours, there’s absolutely no way I can top this shit:
Provocatively preparing my provokingly perky package for a pulsating night filled with puurfect party passion – meow ;)
Had such a satisfying Saturday night – Feeling ready to lock myself up, strip off my wear & bounce into a daring evening of erotic dreams…
Caressing the essence of Christmas with my flirty spirit as I festively dive into a sexy santa suit & jingle my bells to hot holiday hits!
Mr Santa Clause? If I let you seductively slide down my stalking & taste every piece of my candy… will I still be on your naughty list?
Christ. I’m pretty sure that last one counts as a sex crime. Alright, I’ll try one.
Had such a heavenly Sunday at church. I could feel Jesus rising up in me, pulsating my very spirit until my Jingle balls jangled juicily.
(Do child brides say “juicily?” I can’t keep up with these kids and all are their crazy fads. Get off my lawn.)
Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News
IF she is 17, someone call CPS ASAP…
We are only 9 months away from her making a sex tape where she gets pissed on to catapult her career.
I love this lot lizard’s lexicon of lusty language likely learned by licking the leery old lecher’s balls.
Loving the lusty alliteration up in here :D
Can’t wait to see this so-called 17 year-old sack of herp implode, best part of ‘reality’ bullfuckery is when they’re dropped like bags off dog shit for the next idiot in line for their 15 mins.
Courtney’s Teen-Trollop Tip of the Day: Always smooth out your panty lines before entering a house of worship. (I said worship, not whoreship!)
whatever. she doesn’t wear panties to church.
damn look at his death grip on her arm!
I have some unholy water for her.
Courtney Stodden is to alliteration what a windowless van is to free candy.
deliciously devilish ;*
She noticed that something was missing from her ass. His hand.
Nothing says religion more than dressing like a whore.
Well, where would Jesus have been if there weren’t a Mary Magdalene? Um…right? I’m a little weak on the New Testament.
That sounds right.
whore
So that’s what Chris Crocker is up to these days,,,,
“Caressing the essence of Christmas”? What does that mean? Snuggling a baby in a barn on a starry night? Or nuzzling a Blue Spruce while people with candles sing ‘O Tannenbaum’?
“Mommy, mommy!!! Look! A slut!”
“Hee-hee!! That’s why The Superficial is in your Favorites list on your kiddy computer, son.”
“Oh, it’s so good to see a man attending church with his granddaughter.”
Oh my god – did she just insinuate that she’s banging jesus. Crazy Christian Porn. Nasty.
“Package”? She has a dick now? In fact, if you re-read the whole thing, it really does sound much more like a gay dude putting on a faerie act, than a chick trying to talk sexy. “Dive into a sexy santa suit and jingle my bells”? Has to be a publicist writing these, and he probably hates his job so much that he is purposefully making them ridiculous.
I want to rip that fucking stupid 1995 Pamela Anderson armband off her. She is such a fucking tool.
No shit, and as if the clear bra straps aren’t bad enough … reflecto sunglasses ? How very fucking 1970′s, gah … *barfs*
“Sir, would you and your…um…’friend’ care to use our hand sanitizer before entering? I’m afraid I’ll have to insist.”
Not much to add to the brilliant comments up here than this ho sack has a curious case of meth mouth. And yes, her skin belongs to a 40-yr-old day shift hooker. The End.
Stripper heels, so she’ll be that much closer to god.
So first the blow job, then the money?
So you’re heading “down there” for marrying me?
“Is this the teen prostitute you’re bringing in to the shelter?”
I’m highly perplexed by her bizarre breasts.
That leather douche bracelet demands my attention more than her boobs do.
“Ruefully rocking my luscious leather bracelet while my silly slut of a wife continues to consider herself relevant to society.”
That leather douche bracelet demands my attention more than her boobs do.
“Ruefully rocking my luscious leather bracelet while my silly slut of a wife continues to consider herself relevant to society.” – Dougs Twitter
I am 100% certain that the funny metal band on her arm is some kind of mind control device….
Alliteration is not “sexy” or “edgy”.
That kid is damn cute but the whore and pedobear must have really sacred him(see expression).Love the woman laughing her face off at the losers….
I love how he’s always got a death grip on her arm…to stop her from running away as fast as she can.
And that 90s armband is a tracking device for him
She carries her bible in a Victoria’s Secret bag??
Mexico is not hard to get to… and surgery is cheap and off the books over there. Man, i’m only a few years older than her and i look more youthful than she ever will!
I feel so bad and embarrassed for how she’s is exploiting her stupidity. I mean this isn’t just a stunt for media attention, these clothes she wears aren’t just to look ” hot,” this is all because she is that dumb! haha. I mean its like a car crash and i can’t turn away!
I’m from Seattle and nobody acts/dresses/promotes what she is promoting right now. The thing that’s sad is that she is going to grow up in a few years and realize that she has just created a persona that will follow her around the world until she dies. She will never be able to re-create the way people pres-eve her.
Er, “perceive” ????
Jesus Murphy !! Leather pants ?? Is he trying out for The Village People ?? LOL
That chick in the back makes the appropriate face.
At least she could’ve went for the gold of a decent-looking man. Dougie looks like hammered dog shit molded into a remotely humanoid shape.
I believe he writes her tweets, she’s not literate enough to use the words that show up in her tweets.
“That’s where I keep Doug’s cajones…in there!”
“NO! I don’t wanna hold your hand! I can walk by myself! I’m a BIG girl now!”
“I’m THIS many!” (when asked what her IQ was)
She and her madame…I mean, mother…are almost single-handedly keeping Starbucks in business! Does she ever NOT have a coffee in her hand? Or does her mom and dad…I mean, husband!, only allow her chocolate milk, and only if she puts her whoreheels on the right feet on the first try?
He’s just trying to make sure she doesn’t fall off those shoes. She’s looking down, thinking, “My boobies still there? Yep!”
I think this is exactly why he’s always holding her arm. I don’t think she can walk very well in those shoes she wears and he’s holding her for support.
This thing is obviously a retarded transgender forty year old man.
I don’t know what annoys me more; her lame arm band or those sad attempts at rhyming.
her parents are fuckups.
her arms look weird and gross. Nasty
Arms? What arms?
Some peoples kids…
Mommy, why is that old lady wearing Hannah Montana panties?
Going to church wearing that dress and carrying a Victoria’s secret bag? Is that what she’s putting in the offering basket? Just plain trash.
Hahahaha….I actually love reading her hilarious quotes!
boy with fake boobs and paint
she could look really nice if that pedo left her alone
so true! Lovely photo of a Hollywood tranny tran.
ew leather is as bad as fur, theyre all separate lone standin industries
shed look young were it not for the tan and boobs