BREAKING: The Hair Above Courtney Stodden’s Cartoon Tits Is A Different Color

December 12th, 2013 // 61 Comments

We interrupt my liberal shenanigans for a special announcement: Courtney Stodden dyed her hair. As to what color her hair was before, or even what it is now, I have no fucking clue. But they guy who sold these to me said it was different, so that seems like more than enough research. My work here is done.

Photos: Glen McCurtayne/Coleman-Rayner

superficial

  1. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddamn, that’s an ugly bitch.

  2. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    I see she’s practicing the Stripper runway move of bending close as she gathers the dollar tips.

  3. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    Speaking of ralph, I just swallowed some back down.

  4. renotastic

    Always Be Posing.

  5. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know what she’s doing for a living, but it’s paying out Volkswagon level cashola…you go girl!

  6. brick

    There was a time when I’d check out her photos. That time has passed.

  7. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    The only way anyone would be interested in her hair colour is if the question “Does the carpet match the drapes?” came up.

  8. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Jade
    Commented on this photo:

    Grandma, what big breasts you have.

  9. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe she needs that big piece of paper to remember vodka and diet pills.

  10. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not a grocery list. That’s a diagram of the parking lot so she can find her way back to the car.

  11. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK, act natural, Courtney. You’re just going grocery shopping with your tits hanging out. Ignore the paparazzi.”
    *walks in front of giant fan* *tousles hair back*
    “That’s right, nothing to see here.”

  12. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hm. I hate these chips, but if I buy the ones up here, non of the old rich men will notice me. The sacrifices I have to make . . .”

  13. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    What? No ass implants? You can’t renew your Gold Diggers Platinum Membership card with only breast implants and a Joan Rivers face.

  14. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Gosh, I’d love to get a tan, but I’m worried about the sun’s rays ruining my skin. If only there were a product here that could give me beautiful golden skin without . . . Hm, Sun Chips . . .”

  15. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t here tits exceed the maximum weight limit for an elevator?

  16. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone else notice that she got new novelty sized breast implants…but still stuffs her bra to make them look bigger?

    It’s like she feels that huge tits is the only thing of value she has to offer the world. So she’s not as stupid as we thought.

  17. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s a good thing I brought this coat that I had no intention of wearing to cover up the only reason people take my picture.”

  18. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    That moment when Courtney Stodden realizes she’s Courtney Stodden.

    (Charlie Brown sad music here)

  19. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Courtney! Courtney, smile for the cam- Oh god, that’s sad.”

  20. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Renzomatic
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s amazing store layout that everything you need to be a famewhore is on the lowest level.

  21. ooh ooh I want to march in this hate parade! Even though I’m utterly convinced she’s retarded; who pays actual money to make lips look like that? She’s fucking hideous & each new pic is uglier than the last. Will no one EVER tell her? If I had one fuck to give about her I’d feel sorry for her.

  22. wow

    Her life is so simple: she goes to the beach, to parties and to the supermarket, and that’s all. Just like a poor Paris Hilton.

  23. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    “like dis? is smile? uh cayn’t fee mah face no mo”

  24. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Paully Boston Baby!
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what I love about her and Heidi Montag for that matter is how they both want to be serious sctresses and/or singer/entertainers. So what do they do? Take acting/singing lessons to better thier craft? haha gosh no, silly simpleton! You get GINORMOUS porn boobs and dress like a hooker…cuz talent!

  25. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Paully Boston Baby!
    Commented on this photo:

    I mean, who doesn’t go grocery shopping looking like Long Island Lolita? Ammiright???

  26. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Now with 1% less grotesque!

  27. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought she was more of a Piggly Wiggly girl.

  28. She kinda of looks like Sofia Vergara’s older, sluttier, trampier, big-tittied-er sister.

  29. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “mmmmmm! That parking lot light….looks like a COCK..”

  30. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    When the backache begins, she drops her tits into the trolley.

  31. myop

    The entire setup looks fake.

  32. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    Lessee, lessee, looking…looking…nope, all out of dignity.

  33. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, finally someone so dumb she doesn’t know how push carts work

  34. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    Let it go, hon, ZZ Top aren’t gonna materialize out of thin air to do that circle thing with their fingers for you, ever, for fear that your kind of mutant clap is airborne.

  35. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Commented on this photo:

    So she goes shopping, checks out, walks her cart to her car, unloads her cart into her car, then proceeds to walk around with another bag of groceries without a cart?
    If I didn’t have such faith in Hollywood, I’d start to think this whole excursion to get snack chips and HIV tests was one big photo stunt.

  36. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Alan Alda's Nutsack
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a joke? What a waste of space on the camera memory card.

    She’s hideous. Disgusting. Rotted. Not good looking at all!

  37. Heywood Jablomie

    SIIHAAPP

  38. anonym

    bahahahaha.

    all the bag boys and cashiers were probably laughing their asses off at the freak show.

    She looks ridonkulous.

  39. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    ld
    Commented on this photo:

    Velvet pants? She is so ridiculously 90s. And thats a lace front wig.

  40. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Yay, she bought a new wig and extensions.

  41. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    tracy
    Commented on this photo:

    Girl needs some squats and some sweet potatoes.

  42. She’s passed the point of no return. Even if she had a moment of clarity and realized that she looks ridiculous she could never get her old body and face back.

  43. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    richie
    Commented on this photo:

    Impressive – a VW!! What’s next, some fancy London Broil?!

  44. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    richie
    Commented on this photo:

    delusional

  45. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    samwise
    Commented on this photo:

    Where the hell does she buy her clothes seriously every outfit is some lycra/spandex abomination she married into “hollywood”??? hun your not doing it right.

  46. Courtney Stodden Brunette Implants
    Shelby
    Commented on this photo:

    Her shoes remind me of KISS.

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