Courtney Stodden Says ‘Eat Your Vegetables’

April 17th, 2012 // 107 Comments
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And is also a bunny. Did I not mention that?

Presumably unbeknownst to PETA, unless they’re trying to to immediately shed what little credibility they have left in which case, well played, Courtney Stodden has made herself the unofficial spokesperson for vegetarianism because she has a new video making the Internet rounds today where she tells people that eating vegetables will improve their sex lives – while holding a tomato. Even more hilariously, it turns out her reality show hasn’t been picked up, so she’s resorted to filming her own web series which I also posted a clip from down below where you’ll be just as amazed as I was that it flopped considering she spends eight whole minutes complaining her foot hurts. I just assumed glass heels were built for comfort. Anyway, apparently Bravo will air eight different shows about long-con prostitutes, but balks at the mere mention of pretend child brides. Well, this is MERKA! Also, this chick will literally do anything for money, and exploitation is also MERKA! Why do you hate MERKA?

(Anyone else surprised she didn’t fellate the deformed tomato? Us, too.)

(Quick Note: I literally couldn’t make it more than a minute into this, so to answer the inevitable barrage of “Fish, how the hell did you miss ______ ?” I respect myself and have a moderate-to-strong sense of self-worth.)

Photos: Jeff Rayner/Coleman-Rayner


  1. cp3

    For God’s sake, will someone buy her a new pair of shoes already?

  2. Batman

    “PAY ATTENTION TO ME, GOD DAMNIT!” – Courtney Stodden’s tombstone.

  3. tits mcgee

    I’m mentioning this post in my suicide letter.

  4. tits mcgee

    So there’s that maturity Doug was talking about.

  5. jal

    I’m convinced that ridiculous arm band she’s always wearing is a tracking device so she can’t run away.

    • Given the fact that those shoes seem to be Krazy-Glued to her feet, I’d say there’s not much chance of her running anywhere. The fuckers are better than foot binding.

  6. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone needs to buy her a new pair of shoes.

  7. i made it to 3 mins ! i must be some kind of superhero

    • arch support is critically important in teen girl's development

      i watched the whole thing. I am also incredibly high. It doesn’t get any better. In fact I feel like my mellow has been harshed.

  8. Richard McBeef, PhD

    Rabbits are often used as an experimental model for studies of human herpes simplex induced viral encephalitis.

  9. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, C-Stod, carrots don’t prevent genital warts.

  10. Crabby Old Guy

    The answer: “Courtney Stodden”

    And the question: What’s a synonym for “Pathetic”

  11. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    I shudder to know where that heel has been. And by that, I’m implying a butthole. Not hers.

  12. Angie

    I made it to the 1:20 mark. If you could put her in a fucking coma, this chick would be hot. At least ’til she started to atrophy, and by then you would be sick of fucking her anyway.

  13. Blow

    You have to do a shit ton of drugs to make shit like that.

  14. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Stan Grossman
    Commented on this photo:

    The only thing wrong with this dumb broad is the old geezer she married and It’s going to be the end of her.

  15. FDrBn

    This girl looks like she would smell bad!

  16. sexy.brains

    Isn’t she like 16? This is child pornography.

  17. The Royal Penis

    Now we know who kidnapped Jon Benet Ramsey.

  18. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Stodden is a barbie? Maybe if they made a VD ridden, child hooker barbie–”She was sold as an adolescent to a middle-aged man not even remotely attractive or talented. Together they terrorize the populace by sexualizing every holiday in history with narcissistic photographs that feature her cartoonish anatomy clad in the sluttiest outfits walmart has to offer, bent over numerous props, and conveying to the viewer that she is ready for the anal sex party to begin.”

  19. AteIsEnough

    The answer: A stump. The question: What is she as dumb as?

  20. Buddy the Elf

    Still trying to look younger then her 53 years?
    Keep trying.

  21. Deacon Jones

    Well, I dont know about everyone else, but I do in fact have a hard on under my khakis right now.

  22. kimmykimkim

    Courtney, eat your lithium.

  23. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s her cottontail? She must tuck that,too.

    • unimate

      Uh… it’s pretty clearly visible in the picture. Don’t worry, though. I’m sure somebody still thinks you’re clever.

  24. 1984

    Courtney is living proof that it’s not the age; it’s the mileage. She’s 18 looking like she going on 40.

  25. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    C’mon gravity, don’t let me down here.

  26. jal

    I’m no doctor but if she took off those stupid shoes her foot wouldn’t hurt. Who walks around in underwear and five inch heels? I mean, besides whores?

  27. Sheppy

    I dislike everything about her. There are no redeeming features or aspects to her.

  28. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    carol rules
    Commented on this photo:

    look at those bell peppers on the ground. ha!

  29. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    carol rules
    Commented on this photo:


  30. taz

    Aaaand the dumbing down of America has found its poster child!

  31. Through the first 20 seconds I thought she was a giant. Which was awesome. Then I realized it’s just a Barbie sized patio.

  32. The last 2 minutes of the video is my favorite part.

  33. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice shoes Courtney…

  34. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    damn goldfish keep falling out

  35. mel

    sure, she’s an idiot. but that wouldn’t stop me from eating the stink out of her ass!

  36. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, I have to say, for once those ridiculous stripper heels are serving a valid purpose, because without those platforms, she wouldn’t be tall enough to reach under the hood and fix her engine…oh. This picture isn’t about working on her car, is it?

  37. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    Great!! How am I going to break it to my kid that the Easter Bunny is really just a hooker in disguise.

  38. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    ET Phone Home
    Commented on this photo:

    pooping out eggs

  39. Bonky

    Poor girl is dying to have her basket of eggs fertilized. Lord knows she can’t get that at home.

  40. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    she sure does bend at the waist well.

  41. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone should sterilize case it breeds

  42. Joe

    So she is going to whore up every possible holiday?

  43. CranAppleSnapple

    All of these reviews are so pleasing to read that now I MUST watch the video! I brought a cushion along so I can slam it over my face if necessary.

  44. girl dylan

    yeah, she should “put some ice one it”. that’ll fix her right up.

  45. KFisher

    I made it to about 5:30, but I’m fairly drunk, so…

  46. Yoyoma

    If eating veggies makes me want to screw guys that look like Doug Hutschinson (Hutcheson? I don’t care.) then I think I’ll pass.

  47. El Jefe

    Courtney Stodden is the 40 year old woman that still works in the strip club that they don’t have the heart to kick out of the place.

  48. Courtney Stodden Bikini Easter Bunny Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    not a case of sexy all the way down to the toes when they are curled up and hanging over and out your shoes, eeeewwww

  49. Clemesso

    What does her husband do?

  50. nikki

    this bitch is fantastic. i love her!

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