And is also a bunny. Did I not mention that?
Presumably unbeknownst to PETA, unless they’re trying to to immediately shed what little credibility they have left in which case, well played, Courtney Stodden has made herself the unofficial spokesperson for vegetarianism because she has a new video making the Internet rounds today where she tells people that eating vegetables will improve their sex lives – while holding a tomato. Even more hilariously, it turns out her reality show hasn’t been picked up, so she’s resorted to filming her own web series which I also posted a clip from down below where you’ll be just as amazed as I was that it flopped considering she spends eight whole minutes complaining her foot hurts. I just assumed glass heels were built for comfort. Anyway, apparently Bravo will air eight different shows about long-con prostitutes, but balks at the mere mention of pretend child brides. Well, this is MERKA! Also, this chick will literally do anything for money, and exploitation is also MERKA! Why do you hate MERKA?
(Anyone else surprised she didn’t fellate the deformed tomato? Us, too.)
(Quick Note: I literally couldn’t make it more than a minute into this, so to answer the inevitable barrage of “Fish, how the hell did you miss ______ ?” I respect myself and have a moderate-to-strong sense of self-worth.)
Photos: Jeff Rayner/Coleman-Rayner
For God’s sake, will someone buy her a new pair of shoes already?
“PAY ATTENTION TO ME, GOD DAMNIT!” – Courtney Stodden’s tombstone.
Throw in a 2012 death date and I’m paying for the engraving.
I’m mentioning this post in my suicide letter.
ahahaha!! I thought Fish was just being a pussy, but I hit stop just under 2 minutes… sheeeeeesh….
So there’s that maturity Doug was talking about.
I’m convinced that ridiculous arm band she’s always wearing is a tracking device so she can’t run away.
Given the fact that those shoes seem to be Krazy-Glued to her feet, I’d say there’s not much chance of her running anywhere. The fuckers are better than foot binding.
Someone needs to buy her a new pair of shoes.
and a new slutty arm band.
My thought exactly.
i made it to 3 mins ! i must be some kind of superhero
i watched the whole thing. I am also incredibly high. It doesn’t get any better. In fact I feel like my mellow has been harshed.
Rabbits are often used as an experimental model for studies of human herpes simplex induced viral encephalitis.
Seriously, who the fuck thumbs up this shit?
Wasn’t me!
Sorry, C-Stod, carrots don’t prevent genital warts.
http://cebp.aacrjournals.org/content/11/9/876.long
54% decrease! Holla!
Oh snap, Richard!
Didn’t you used to have an M.D.?
He has an M.D. and a Ph.D. They’re called “mud-phuds.”
I only have a degree in italics.
You mean somebody referenced a peer-reviewed journal article to rebut a Superficial commenter? Holy crap!
Tom lived across the hall when we were both attending graduate school in the phillipines, online.
Ha! I knew I had met you!
“The Philippine girl crouching in the corner”
It’s my job.
My aim is to keep journalism true.
*It took me 5 minutes to think of a synonym for true. Failing that, I just went with what was convenient. Where are the fucking emoticons
heheh Keep it real?
The answer: “Courtney Stodden”
And the question: What’s a synonym for “Pathetic”
I shudder to know where that heel has been. And by that, I’m implying a butthole. Not hers.
I made it to the 1:20 mark. If you could put her in a fucking coma, this chick would be hot. At least ’til she started to atrophy, and by then you would be sick of fucking her anyway.
You have to do a shit ton of drugs to make shit like that.
The only thing wrong with this dumb broad is the old geezer she married and It’s going to be the end of her.
Don’t forget she suffers from terminal stupidity.
This girl looks like she would smell bad!
Isn’t she like 16? This is child pornography.
Not gonna lie, I would end up murdering her
Now we know who kidnapped Jon Benet Ramsey.
No one kidnapped Jon Benet, dumbass!
Courtney Stodden is a barbie? Maybe if they made a VD ridden, child hooker barbie–”She was sold as an adolescent to a middle-aged man not even remotely attractive or talented. Together they terrorize the populace by sexualizing every holiday in history with narcissistic photographs that feature her cartoonish anatomy clad in the sluttiest outfits walmart has to offer, bent over numerous props, and conveying to the viewer that she is ready for the anal sex party to begin.”
The answer: A stump. The question: What is she as dumb as?
Still trying to look younger then her 53 years?
Keep trying.
Well, I dont know about everyone else, but I do in fact have a hard on under my khakis right now.
Why, what were you looking at?
Courtney, eat your lithium.
Where’s her cottontail? She must tuck that,too.
Uh… it’s pretty clearly visible in the picture. Don’t worry, though. I’m sure somebody still thinks you’re clever.
Courtney is living proof that it’s not the age; it’s the mileage. She’s 18 looking like she going on 40.
C’mon gravity, don’t let me down here.
LMAO!!!!!
I’m no doctor but if she took off those stupid shoes her foot wouldn’t hurt. Who walks around in underwear and five inch heels? I mean, besides whores?
I dislike everything about her. There are no redeeming features or aspects to her.
look at those bell peppers on the ground. ha!
cheeeze!
Aaaand the dumbing down of America has found its poster child!
Through the first 20 seconds I thought she was a giant. Which was awesome. Then I realized it’s just a Barbie sized patio.
The last 2 minutes of the video is my favorite part.
Nice shoes Courtney…
damn goldfish keep falling out
sure, she’s an idiot. but that wouldn’t stop me from eating the stink out of her ass!
Tell me…does the Denny’s in Sherman Oaks still throw all those used eggs out?
You know, I have to say, for once those ridiculous stripper heels are serving a valid purpose, because without those platforms, she wouldn’t be tall enough to reach under the hood and fix her engine…oh. This picture isn’t about working on her car, is it?
Great!! How am I going to break it to my kid that the Easter Bunny is really just a hooker in disguise.
pooping out eggs
Poor girl is dying to have her basket of eggs fertilized. Lord knows she can’t get that at home.
she sure does bend at the waist well.
Someone should sterilize this..in case it breeds
Nuke it from orbit–it’s the only way to be sure
So she is going to whore up every possible holiday?
All of these reviews are so pleasing to read that now I MUST watch the video! I brought a cushion along so I can slam it over my face if necessary.
Her foot went in his mouth and the cushion hit me in the face.
yeah, she should “put some ice one it”. that’ll fix her right up.
I made it to about 5:30, but I’m fairly drunk, so…
If eating veggies makes me want to screw guys that look like Doug Hutschinson (Hutcheson? I don’t care.) then I think I’ll pass.
Courtney Stodden is the 40 year old woman that still works in the strip club that they don’t have the heart to kick out of the place.
not a case of sexy all the way down to the toes when they are curled up and hanging over and out your shoes, eeeewwww
What does her husband do?
this bitch is fantastic. i love her!