I Hope Courtney Stodden’s Using The Proper SPF

March 30th, 2012 // 130 Comments

*SQUEAK-OO, SQUEAK-OO, SQUEAK-OO*

Here’s Courtney Stodden lotioning up her fake, pretend-teenage breasts in Malibu this week which is important news because melanoma is serious business and I’ve always thought of The Superficial as a health blog. Also, this set had this picture and this picture which, again, reaffirms my suspicions that maybe, just maybe there’s a God looking down upon us going, “Holy shit, these two are messed up. I’m gonna make the one dude touch the other dude’s penis.”

Photos: Coleman-Rayner

superficial

  1. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ummmmmmm- I wonder if doggy style still okay.”

  2. Cock Dr

    Sunscreen not meant for protection of plastic & foam rubber.

  3. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    Herpes: The gift that keeps on giving

  4. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Commented on this photo:

    The book she’s reading is “PETA’s College Cookbook” – wonder how much she got paid for that? (And she’s not old enough for college, so there’s that too.)

  5. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Shoebacca
    Commented on this photo:

    Dang! Another genital wart. That makes 3,000.

  6. again with this whore?

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzHMMMphhh *rubbing eyes* *flatulence* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  7. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    It puts the Valtrex on its sore, or else it gets the hose some more.

  8. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Negs
    Commented on this photo:

    As usual, I’m going to insert it right here…

  9. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Touching my wife’s 45-year-old vagina always puts a smile on my face!”

  10. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Urvag
    Commented on this photo:

    I always enjoy a good book while sitting in my hooker pose.

  11. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    stupidskank
    Commented on this photo:

    yes, that is also how i sit when i enjoy a book.

  12. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Spartcus
    Commented on this photo:

    Nipple alert, we’re going to need confirmation.

  13. I Complain A Lot

    When’s she gonna get with the porn videos?

  14. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have you seen my black skully I always wear?”

  15. Lose the damn stripper heels already. And the lipstick or whatever it is she puts on her lips. The late 80′s armband? She must have taken queues from Shauna Sand. I could go on but I know people don’t like reading walls of text.

    • Sphere

      The day you can convince a girl like Courtney that her lipstick is the wrong shade is the day pigs fly. You just have to let it go.

  16. I honestly have no idea who this girl is, but if I saw her on a beach, I think I’d notice her.

  17. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Angie
    Commented on this photo:

    Just once you’d think the photogs could capture Doug in a way that doesn’t make him look like a flaming homosexual. Oh, wait…

  18. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies,

    This photo has me deeply confused. And no, I’m not talking about my erection. It’s the left boob relative to the top….is that just some major padding going on there? Like a Miracle Bra of swimwear?

  19. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “,,,let’s see, now wears that strap-on…OH, GOT IT! I found my skully!….I was looking for you…”

  20. Dramatic Puddle

    FFS Fish please stop posting about this ancient skank. She’s nobody … and you’re worse than tmz; you cover her more than THEY do, and that’s pretty fucking sad. Just stop.

    • Ah, Fish, don’t pay any attention to this guy. An occasional post of Courtney is OK as long as, from this point forward, you have at least one pic that shows some sliver of nipple.

  21. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    ET Phone Home
    Commented on this photo:

    yes it’s a shit ton of padding. I actually believe that she doesn’t have implants, she just wears ridiculous padded bras and swimsuits all the time to make it look like they’re bigger.

    I wish she didn’t try so hard. I actually see a cute girl under there but she looks fucking ridiculous trying to be some sex pot. I really think she’s getting all her tips from porn and sex magazines. It’s only a matter of time…

  22. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    kenny
    Commented on this photo:

    she can piss in my face just so i can see where it came from

  23. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Commented on this photo:

    “A blemish brewing on my buxom body blossoming into blisters!”

  24. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Sarah
    Commented on this photo:

    I enjoy the fact that the way the barista wrote “Doug” on that Starbucks cup makes it look like “Dong.”

  25. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    disillusionisreal
    Commented on this photo:

    That face is not 17 years old. 170 maybe.

  26. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s that there where you penis oughta be?

  27. cc

    She’s sort of like a chocolate eclair in a donut shop. You know there’s nothing real about, you know it’s not good for you, but it has a sufficient visual appeal that, given the chance, you’d eat it.

  28. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thanks baby, I love cheeseburgers!”

  29. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Commented on this photo:

    …wearing the latest in high-tech invisible hooker heels.

  30. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Commented on this photo:

    When I look at her… ‘meat eater’ def comes to mind

  31. T.A.

    Good Lord. It must be tough to go through life constantly stuck in “posing mode’.

  32. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    This guy
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t want to want her, but I just do. She is sexy!!

  33. Mike

    I guess Kim Kuntrash stories are thin, so we gotta hear from Stodden, huh? Not that I blame Fish, we clicked on the links.

  34. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    el
    Commented on this photo:

    who is she ?

  35. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    el
    Commented on this photo:

    she wore hills on the beach, and she wore sandals on the streets wow

  36. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    For years I have wondered Coco would look like if she smoked crack.

  37. Jack Ketch

    Like everyone reads a book posed like that on the beach, eh ? That’s so fucking hilarious !! :D Oh, and please, take that goddamned “arm bracelet” and burn it.

  38. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Natalie
    Commented on this photo:

    the oldest looking “teen” ever

  39. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    sol yours truly
    Commented on this photo:

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  40. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    read the review on sol yours truly at ThaNorthwest.com
    Commented on this photo:

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  41. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    At this point, I’m less disturbed by their relationship then I am by her seemingly permanent arm cuff.

  42. Cb

    IF I truly believed she was 17, I’d feel bad for her because she’d b al used up by 20, but since she’s clearly in her 40s, I’d call this a healthy mid life crisis…and one serious push up bathing suit!

  43. Dan's friend

    She needs to do lunges or squats.
    Or gentlemen’s presses.

  44. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    gnarla
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me she ran out of sunscreen and that’s why there are two dark circular patches on her breasts…

  45. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    gnarla
    Commented on this photo:

    Aaand there’s the padding.

  46. Hugh Evers

    In all seriousness I don’t think she is older than about 34-36.

  47. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew semen came in spray form?

  48. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Avery
    Commented on this photo:

    For a minute I thought if this 17 year old girl ever read all these comments she’d cry. After a minute I realized she probably reads all of these comments and then decides where she’s going to take her hooker heels tomorrow.

  49. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Isa
    Commented on this photo:

    Who does she think she kids?

  50. Courtney Stodden Bikini Suntan Lotion
    Isa
    Commented on this photo:

    It amazes me how tacky this girl is…

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