Welcome to Part 1 in our two-part series “Courtney Stodden: Kid Prostitute.” Here she is in Los Angeles fulfilling the sacred rite of passage for starring in a reality show: Canned bikini photos. Except these are way more messed up than anything Heidi & Spencer could ever possibly imagine thanks to the inclusion of airbrushed abs and child bride lap dances. On that note, I’d like to welcome our new Mormon readers to the site, who found us by Googling “child bride lap dances.” The prophet Joseph Smith would be proud according to these gold plates only I can see under my desk so you know I’m not making this up.
Photos: GSI Media
why is she pulling her bathing suit off with her thumbs? and eww
i have nightmares of this look
she is TOTALLY wearing a pad. gross.
what happened to abs? they must have gotten tired of airbrushing
lol what is she doing?
Could she stop posing for once? Last time I saw feet like that they were from Mattel.
Got a little bit of Joan Crawford going on in the face. Ewww
Keep it up, there, you busted-ass Heidi Montag. Is that an underwire in that top, or a piece of rebar?
I just feel like someone needs to tell this poor kid she looks terrible. Like, stop spraying yourself orange, brush your hair and dye it a natural brown color, and eat, and she might be okay looking. Sad.
Wow! She must have dyslexia, because 17 years old is clearly code for 71 years old.
I hope he gets his teeth fixed when he has his penis removed. BTW–do a better stuff job on the top–if we can see a space, then you’re doing it wrong!
u guys didn’t notice the “bulge” from all the behind photos & the adams apple?
clearly born a guy!
Am I the only one who noticed the weird patches on her arms?
Looks like all the money for the airbrushing went on her stomach!
guess she should have had those boobs “pumped up” a little more, not quite filling out the hard cups of her suit, def see nip…..all i ask is that the superficial stop posting pics or info on this “thing”….she’s a low-life and gross!
yes, either way, she’s a poor misguided “skank” as mentioned above, but I certainly do not believe she is seventeen, NO seventeen year old I know has the “teeth, tits and toes” pose down such as she does, and do you seriously believe she’s in love with him, or what his “fame” can do for her…yeah…within the year, we’ll be reading about the “break up”…
Wow. I used to read The Superficial. After the Mormon comment, I’m done. You are funny, but that just shows your ignorant as well.
Your ≠ you’re, duh.
Whoever said she’s wearing the “miraculous” bra is right. I know because my grandmother has one.
Er, pink and white feet and orange legs ?????
how is it that her boob is pushed up so far, yet there’s a gaping space between her boob and that bra?
Hahahahaha his shirt.
What, that’s not what you were looking at?
I”m 35 and my face doesn’t look that old!
OMG…I was just thinking the same thing about the band aid tanning lines or spray tan should I say. This girl has been saying the whole time she does not have implants, and I believed her, I knew she wore an extremely padded bra and these pictures just proved it. If she is gonna have anything done she needs some braces, most kids her age have that done. And do something with those thick dark eyebrows and bleach blonde hair, doesn’t match. She really needs to stop listening to her mom about everyone’s jealous, because believe me i’m 26 and i’m definitely not jealous of a 17 y/o. Honey you just need to stop, you would be so much prettier if you stopped trying so hard to be something you’re not. There is nothing to be jealous of.
Every time I hear about this girl, I just can’t believe it’s real. Thanks people for pointing out the spray tan, I am so far removed from this kind of lifestyle I wouldn’t even think of that. I don’t know why she chooses to make such a fool of herself and even worse why people let her. Realistically there has to be some psychological problems either in her or the people around her. This just isn’t normal. I feel sorry for her.
Sadly, in LA/Hollyweird, this *IS* “normal”… oh yeah.
I think I got herpes looking at these pictures. Can someone take a look at my ball sack for a minute?
wait, so she already HAS implants and yet she still wears oversized, padded bras? I disappoint myself that I was genuinely surprised. As if I forgot the train wreck that I was looking at.
i really cant pick what’s worse, the fake bra, the lizard face, her ” husband” or those horrid orange fake tan runoffs on her FEET! AAACCKK!!! why am I here watching this and then posting on it!?! Is there really nothing else on the internets with fake tits to waste your time with?
i am so sick of everyone saying those abs are fake. they are so totally real. everyone knows that if you wake up, do a headstand, have a protein shake, and then rub your belly while tapping your head for 5 minutes straight, that your abs will form 90 degree angles. and you will grow a treasure trail from your boobs to your belly button… and marry a pair of old balls… the oldest old wive’s tale in the book.
so why is she famous? She’s just some 43 year old cougar
say what u want about her but…I’D LOVE TO FUCK HER!!!
Was this photoshoot directed by Rob Zombie?
it really looks like she’s wearing 2 bras… and she must have had mosquito bites before her boob job cause they still look small lol
This pathetic excuse for “love” is for sexually dysfunctional men that can’t get it right with women their own age.
She has to have some serious scoliosis from always sticking her butt up that way…kkkkkk
it must be exhausting being that fake. her parents must be so proud.
Honestly she doesn’t look so unhealthy. I mean look at other girls who are basically skin and bone. However this girl (Yes girl not woman by any means) must be truly disturbed. I pitty her. She not only must have horrible self esteem to dress and look like that but her childhood must have been messed up for her to end up like this and she is still just a child. She has years of life left yet she has thrown it all away. She scientifically doesn’t even know who she is. The poor thing has forever labeled herself.
If this reality TV thing doesn’t pan out for she can always get a job at Home Depot making keys with those teeth of hers.
*pan out for her.
LOL
She’s a pornstar wannabee :LOL
hahaha
WOW! Her vahjayjay is really fat or that’s a penis O_o
lol it’s really fat and juicy :-)
he just saw her penis fall out
I gotta be honest, I think she looks shit, fake tan, tan lines, shit jewellery, Doesn’t even look her age and those padded bikini bottoms and bra, Damn, I’m 56 and I honestly believe he thinks hes set up for life with a good shag, She’ll be off finding some younger millionaire in two shakes . And she ain’t that hot,
who’s the lesbian she’s sitting on?
yay! shes legal next year lol
Wow, that actually kinda looks like a real smile on her face. Whatshisname looks like a cancer patient, though. Poor patients, having to be associated with that.
Oh no! This pic reveals the big boob illusion!!! (padded bra)You’re ruining it for women everywhere!!!!
Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this kid and her loser pedophile grandfather? She looks like the leftovers from a gangbang.
My eyes keep connecting her eyebrows. They are quite close together.
She’s rockin’ some serious cameltoe and/or labia… I’d love to get a taste of it too!