Courtney Stodden in a Bikini: Episode 1 The Airbrushed Menace

October 3rd, 2011 // 330 Comments

Welcome to Part 1 in our two-part series “Courtney Stodden: Kid Prostitute.” Here she is in Los Angeles fulfilling the sacred rite of passage for starring in a reality show: Canned bikini photos. Except these are way more messed up than anything Heidi & Spencer could ever possibly imagine thanks to the inclusion of airbrushed abs and child bride lap dances. On that note, I’d like to welcome our new Mormon readers to the site, who found us by Googling “child bride lap dances.” The prophet Joseph Smith would be proud according to these gold plates only I can see under my desk so you know I’m not making this up.

Photos: GSI Media

superficial

  1. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Felix Unger
    Commented on this photo:

    why is she pulling her bathing suit off with her thumbs? and eww

  2. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Felix Unger
    Commented on this photo:

    i have nightmares of this look

  3. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Felix Unger
    Commented on this photo:

    she is TOTALLY wearing a pad. gross.

  4. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Felix Unger
    Commented on this photo:

    what happened to abs? they must have gotten tired of airbrushing

  5. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    whocares
    Commented on this photo:

    lol what is she doing?

  6. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Deb
    Commented on this photo:

    Could she stop posing for once? Last time I saw feet like that they were from Mattel.

  7. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Deb
    Commented on this photo:

    Got a little bit of Joan Crawford going on in the face. Ewww

  8. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Deb
    Commented on this photo:

    Keep it up, there, you busted-ass Heidi Montag. Is that an underwire in that top, or a piece of rebar?

  9. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Abrielle
    Commented on this photo:

    I just feel like someone needs to tell this poor kid she looks terrible. Like, stop spraying yourself orange, brush your hair and dye it a natural brown color, and eat, and she might be okay looking. Sad.

  10. Xanara

    Wow! She must have dyslexia, because 17 years old is clearly code for 71 years old.

  11. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    WTF
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope he gets his teeth fixed when he has his penis removed. BTW–do a better stuff job on the top–if we can see a space, then you’re doing it wrong!

  12. ksinpgh

    u guys didn’t notice the “bulge” from all the behind photos & the adams apple?
    clearly born a guy!

  13. McWhat!

    Am I the only one who noticed the weird patches on her arms?
    Looks like all the money for the airbrushing went on her stomach!

  14. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Melissa
    Commented on this photo:

    guess she should have had those boobs “pumped up” a little more, not quite filling out the hard cups of her suit, def see nip…..all i ask is that the superficial stop posting pics or info on this “thing”….she’s a low-life and gross!

  15. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Melissa
    Commented on this photo:

    yes, either way, she’s a poor misguided “skank” as mentioned above, but I certainly do not believe she is seventeen, NO seventeen year old I know has the “teeth, tits and toes” pose down such as she does, and do you seriously believe she’s in love with him, or what his “fame” can do for her…yeah…within the year, we’ll be reading about the “break up”…

  16. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    mos
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. I used to read The Superficial. After the Mormon comment, I’m done. You are funny, but that just shows your ignorant as well.

  17. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Joanna
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoever said she’s wearing the “miraculous” bra is right. I know because my grandmother has one.

  18. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    Er, pink and white feet and orange legs ?????

  19. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    mrsmass
    Commented on this photo:

    how is it that her boob is pushed up so far, yet there’s a gaping space between her boob and that bra?

  20. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Victoria
    Commented on this photo:

    Hahahahaha his shirt.

    What, that’s not what you were looking at?

  21. Lolateah

    I”m 35 and my face doesn’t look that old!

  22. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    MINDY#2
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG…I was just thinking the same thing about the band aid tanning lines or spray tan should I say. This girl has been saying the whole time she does not have implants, and I believed her, I knew she wore an extremely padded bra and these pictures just proved it. If she is gonna have anything done she needs some braces, most kids her age have that done. And do something with those thick dark eyebrows and bleach blonde hair, doesn’t match. She really needs to stop listening to her mom about everyone’s jealous, because believe me i’m 26 and i’m definitely not jealous of a 17 y/o. Honey you just need to stop, you would be so much prettier if you stopped trying so hard to be something you’re not. There is nothing to be jealous of.

  23. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Madeline
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I hear about this girl, I just can’t believe it’s real. Thanks people for pointing out the spray tan, I am so far removed from this kind of lifestyle I wouldn’t even think of that. I don’t know why she chooses to make such a fool of herself and even worse why people let her. Realistically there has to be some psychological problems either in her or the people around her. This just isn’t normal. I feel sorry for her.

  24. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Snooki's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I got herpes looking at these pictures. Can someone take a look at my ball sack for a minute?

  25. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    jules
    Commented on this photo:

    wait, so she already HAS implants and yet she still wears oversized, padded bras? I disappoint myself that I was genuinely surprised. As if I forgot the train wreck that I was looking at.

  26. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    jules
    Commented on this photo:

    i really cant pick what’s worse, the fake bra, the lizard face, her ” husband” or those horrid orange fake tan runoffs on her FEET! AAACCKK!!! why am I here watching this and then posting on it!?! Is there really nothing else on the internets with fake tits to waste your time with?

  27. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    justsayin
    Commented on this photo:

    i am so sick of everyone saying those abs are fake. they are so totally real. everyone knows that if you wake up, do a headstand, have a protein shake, and then rub your belly while tapping your head for 5 minutes straight, that your abs will form 90 degree angles. and you will grow a treasure trail from your boobs to your belly button… and marry a pair of old balls… the oldest old wive’s tale in the book.

  28. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    yomomma
    Commented on this photo:

    so why is she famous? She’s just some 43 year old cougar

  29. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    mfb
    Commented on this photo:

    say what u want about her but…I’D LOVE TO FUCK HER!!!

  30. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    Was this photoshoot directed by Rob Zombie?

  31. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    brum
    Commented on this photo:

    it really looks like she’s wearing 2 bras… and she must have had mosquito bites before her boob job cause they still look small lol

  32. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Pabs
    Commented on this photo:

    This pathetic excuse for “love” is for sexually dysfunctional men that can’t get it right with women their own age.

  33. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    C
    Commented on this photo:

    She has to have some serious scoliosis from always sticking her butt up that way…kkkkkk

  34. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    JJ
    Commented on this photo:

    it must be exhausting being that fake. her parents must be so proud.

  35. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    ridiculous
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly she doesn’t look so unhealthy. I mean look at other girls who are basically skin and bone. However this girl (Yes girl not woman by any means) must be truly disturbed. I pitty her. She not only must have horrible self esteem to dress and look like that but her childhood must have been messed up for her to end up like this and she is still just a child. She has years of life left yet she has thrown it all away. She scientifically doesn’t even know who she is. The poor thing has forever labeled herself.

  36. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Doctor Joystick
    Commented on this photo:

    If this reality TV thing doesn’t pan out for she can always get a job at Home Depot making keys with those teeth of hers.

  37. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    bliss
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL

  38. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    bliss
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a pornstar wannabee :LOL

  39. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    bliss
    Commented on this photo:

    hahaha

  40. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    WOW! Her vahjayjay is really fat or that’s a penis O_o

  41. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    andrew
    Commented on this photo:

    lol it’s really fat and juicy :-)

  42. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    :O
    Commented on this photo:

    he just saw her penis fall out

  43. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Nigel
    Commented on this photo:

    I gotta be honest, I think she looks shit, fake tan, tan lines, shit jewellery, Doesn’t even look her age and those padded bikini bottoms and bra, Damn, I’m 56 and I honestly believe he thinks hes set up for life with a good shag, She’ll be off finding some younger millionaire in two shakes . And she ain’t that hot,

  44. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    mikael
    Commented on this photo:

    who’s the lesbian she’s sitting on?

  45. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    onos
    Commented on this photo:

    yay! shes legal next year lol

  46. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, that actually kinda looks like a real smile on her face. Whatshisname looks like a cancer patient, though. Poor patients, having to be associated with that.

  47. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    JB
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh no! This pic reveals the big boob illusion!!! (padded bra)You’re ruining it for women everywhere!!!!

  48. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this kid and her loser pedophile grandfather? She looks like the leftovers from a gangbang.

  49. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Kelsey
    Commented on this photo:

    My eyes keep connecting her eyebrows. They are quite close together.

  50. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    clamato
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s rockin’ some serious cameltoe and/or labia… I’d love to get a taste of it too!

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