Welcome to Part 1 in our two-part series “Courtney Stodden: Kid Prostitute.” Here she is in Los Angeles fulfilling the sacred rite of passage for starring in a reality show: Canned bikini photos. Except these are way more messed up than anything Heidi & Spencer could ever possibly imagine thanks to the inclusion of airbrushed abs and child bride lap dances. On that note, I’d like to welcome our new Mormon readers to the site, who found us by Googling “child bride lap dances.” The prophet Joseph Smith would be proud according to these gold plates only I can see under my desk so you know I’m not making this up.
Photos: GSI Media
Who is “managing” this chicks “career”, Snookie??
what’s up with the bra – hire a new photog darling, this guy has a shiite wardrobe
Wait, I thought Yoda was the puppet…
Totally natural boobs, I’m 100% convinced. Hell, silicone is a fucking element, you can’t GET more natural than that.
as a girl with silicone tits I absolutely LOVE this comment. ^^
You’re a skank. wanna get freaky?
I am so sickened everytime I hear about Courtney Stodden. I can’t believe her parents let all this happen. Do they really think she’s going to make a ton of money for them??? They are sick!
“Yes they are real. See, I can touch them!” “No Doug hunny bear, not you.”
naturally I too would sport massive heels to the pool
And let’s not forget the makeup. I casually put on a full face of stage makeup and fake eyelashes when I go to the pool/beach too.
her spray tan looks like shit
There is such a huge gap in that bikini top. She’s not fooling me with those things.
Wow. Collagen injections have REALLY gotten out of hand…
all that money on fake boobs,spray tan,bleach and nails and she can’t get her snaggle tooth fixed?!
again, shitty spray tan, check out her arm she looks like she has leporacy for christ sakes
Ah, the casual closeness and intimacy that comes with true love…not at all like a staged moment between a young chick and a guy she finds physically repulsive.
TeensForCash goes Hollywood!
Do you think they will notice my penis bulge??
Ew. First time Ive seen her face up close. Bitch is rough trade for 17. Do they not have cosmetic dentists in LA or does her pedo hubby not see the value for his dollar in fixing her teefs?
I was really holding out that this is all a lie and she isn’t sixteen but she does look very young there. You know, under all the patchy spray tan.
EEEEEK Stop smiling… Nasty
you can see she has a c section scar too. 17 my ass.
Does anyone else notice that the bikini is just not fitting correctly? She has stuffed so much tissue paper in her bra to push them up
She’s hot in a ‘not quite yet in porn but awfully close’ kind of way.
These photos are disgusting. Who are these people and why are you torturing us?
Is it just me, or does this girl look like she is wearing a maxi pad (which would make no sense if you’re swimming in a white bikini.)? It seems like there’s odd bulging in the crotch area.
Thought same thing!
Me too. She probably grabbed the extra-padded Kotex to avoid camel-toe. Too bad she forgot about everything else repulsive.
She must have asked for the “Lindsey Lohan Special” when she went to get that spray tan. Just look at those Tang-orange hands!
This kid needs serious help.
Is this what he asked for when the Make a Wish Foundation called?
Her feet are not orange…
oh wow! she airbrushed on her ribs too! you can totally see the stripes here. what a lunatic.
YUP … the first poster had the same idea I did …. she is a TRANNY!
im scared of that sh*t……she/he is wrong on multiple, conflicting levels!
Number one: they removed the laser beams coming from her eyes.
Number two: those teeth would shred any man into a half a man.
You can just hear her go “fffffff” while sucking in air through her teeth. “It’s what all the sexy real girls in the porn industry do!”
Teenaged girls in bikinis are to lesbian cancer victims as maltipoos are to your grandmother.
Wow, she has really deep nail beds…
I’m going to go bleach my eyes after i post this because i have to remark.
One, this girl is not 17, 34 perhaps, but not 17. Unless her love of the tanning booth has aged her prematurely. Two, as big as boobs get today with young girls, there is no way those are her natural size. I was an early bloomer as well but they weren’t as big as this.
Next, there is waaaay too much padding in this bikini, it looks ridiculous and it doesn’t sit on her properly, case in point, the fact that i can see her tit.
Now after that comment i feel the need to confess my sin. Everything else i did before this moment wasn’t as bad as looking at these photos. Meet Speidi the next chapter, we’ll be seeing lots of them as they attempt to become relevant in the public eye.
I had a friend who at the age of 13 had double D breasts. It happens.
cant you tell its the bra! look at 17/30, its clearly all padding.
Not a big deal. Lots of girls, regardless of how young, can have really large breast. Its not their size that makes them fake. It’s the fact that real boobs dont have that circle line across the top of them – THATS the implant showing under the muscle. Not a big deal. I have fake boobs too, its okay. But they are not real.
Her breasts might be real. She’s wearing a majorly stuffed push up bar…bikini thing. AND then not only did she airbrush (draw on) her abs, but she also airbrushed brown circles all around her cleavage. Which all helps them look fake.
Either or, she’s still a piece of crap.
Huh ? Jesus, they’re the fakest things I’ve ever seen !
I didn’t know Brooke Hogan could get any uglier. Also – didn’t people stop wearing white nail polish when this girl was 6? Yuck.
What the fuck is this shit?!
Is that a rash on her left arm or patchy spray tan marks? Either way… nasty, nasty, ridiculous bitch.
If she is 16, her parents should be thrown in jail.
A.) whoever did her spray tan is awful, its splotchy, orange, and her “abs” look like they were drawn in with a crayola marker
B.) Shes wearing the Victoria Secret Miraculous Bathing Suit Top ( I should know I work for VS)… so she looks 2 sizes bigger than her already fake boobs.
C.) Her extensions also look like shit
D.) Who wears that much make-up in a bathing suit????
I feel sorry for this fake female…Who is she anyways??????
Umm her nipple is showing in half these pics- pretty sure that’s considered Illegal but not sure
This girl is 17 the way Britney “still got it”.
Ok, when Marie Claire suggested added bronzer between your chest with a “light sweep” to enhance your natural cleavage, I don’t think they intended you to add it to your stomach or armpits with a marker…
There is something to be said for women who think white nail polish and lip glass lighter than their natural skin texture isn’t trashy…. where would my evening superficial sweep be with out them!?
I hope with the earnings from her five minutes of fame she decides to fix her teeth
lost cause i know but Next time you get a spray tan take your bandaid off first… nice tan line.
Oh oh….I see a wittle peepee.
I sm etill adamant this whore isnt 16
I seeeeee nips
I can’t believe that you think those abs are fake! signed, Soccer guys that fall down, that Nigerian prince with no bank account and the “tiny classified ads” guy.
too soon?
that dude is the sickest fuck ever. Her parents are sicks pigs that should be thrown in jail and made to be Bubba’s bitch. I feel sorry for this kid.
holy batman, she has a penis! Do you guys see this? It is right there. This is fantastic!
that’s the first thing i noticed. what the hell is that between her legs. that is one beaten up pussy or it’s a minature dick.