Courtney Stodden in a Bikini 2: Child Bride Harder

October 3rd, 2011 // 280 Comments

As promised, here’s Part 2 of our two-part series “Courtney Stodden: Straight Out Da Joy Book.” Or “Exhibit B” as it’ll later be known when she steals all this guy’s money, and her body is discovered to be a man’s after it’s pulled out of a suitcase. “I shoulda known something was wrong when she kept peeing standing up, but damn, teenage tits, amirte? Eh?” *points at juror box* “That guy’s got daughters. He knows what’s up.”

Photos: GSI Media

superficial

  1. Alicia

    I think Courtney would give Joan Rivers a run for her money in a “Who’s Had More Plastic Surgery?” contest. She also does NOT look 17. When I first read about her marrying this dude a while ago, I showed a pic of her to my husband and asked him how old he thought she was. Without hesitating, he said “mid twenties”. When I told him she claims she’s 16, he was like “yea, right, and Brad Pitt is gonna walk through our front door and have dinner with us tomorrow night”.

  2. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Undercover
    Commented on this photo:

    Upside down and no movement from her boobs.

  3. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Karl
    Commented on this photo:

    shes got a very wierd bagina area going on there..i have never seen that on a woman ever…gaping.

  4. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Karl
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks horrible, my wife is hotter in the face and has less haggardness to her..bitch needs to wash off the paint.

  5. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    Shauna Sand modeling school lesson #9 – always, always always wear heels to the beach

  6. ChurchLeola

    my best friend’s mom makes $77 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 9 months but last month her check was $7487 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read about it here CashLazy. cÓm

  7. ChurchLeola

    my best friend’s mom makes $77 an hour on the computer. She has been out of job for 9 months but last month her check was $7487 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read about it here CashLazy . cÓm

  8. rican

    All that talk about her being 17, they were referring to her IQ.

  9. Willie Dixon

    Her abs look like Mac, Charlie, and Dennis painted them on right before their wrestling match with Rikety Cricket.

  10. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    “ok honey, pretend to look over there while i pretend to point at something interesting while the papparazzi take pictures of us while we pretend not to notice “

  11. Pippy Longcockings

    Oh yeah, this is that teenage skank who’s fucking that old dude from The Green Mile. Couldn’t place her at first.

  12. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Poison Ivy League
    Commented on this photo:

    Giddy-up, fortune! I got a lot of arm-bands and padded bras to buy!

  13. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    Real boobs don’t have edges.

  14. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    TigerGD
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this elderly abuse? Somebody went a little nuts on Phyllis Diller’s makeup.

  15. Rupert Giles

    So all I gotta do is put someone in the electric chair without wetting their head sponge…and I get one of those? Zowie!

  16. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    1983
    Commented on this photo:

    Her face looks like a glam version of boy george…….
    and those spray tan abs looks ooooo sooo natural…idiot!

  17. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    .
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  18. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    1983
    Commented on this photo:

    This girl is a “Anna Nicole Smith” waiting to happen…

  19. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    spray tan abs + a super VS bikini, yup thats sexy

  20. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Poison Ivy League
    Commented on this photo:

    That lesbian looks ready to eat.

  21. Governor Scott Walker

    At least she’s a natural blonde.

  22. DFENS

    This is known as the Californian optical illusion. Take 1 plain looking brunette, slap on fake tan, fake tits and bleach the shit out of her hair. Suddenly men are drooling and somehow can’t see their buttery faces.

  23. Skeet

    You would think with her “perfect” everything she would think about fixing her teeth..Jesus she looks like a European woman from the 90′s minus all the body hair

  24. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Nattypants
    Commented on this photo:

    She is, quite literally, riding her gravy train.

  25. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    I see her penis outline. Anyone?

  26. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Big_Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    This chick is fugly!

  27. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    killerkyle
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think we can use the term “Her” — it’s a damn Tranny!

  28. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see her penis outline… anyone?

  29. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    killerkyle
    Commented on this photo:

    SPRING BREAK!!!

    oh shit, you aren’t even old enough for that…

  30. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    killerkyle
    Commented on this photo:

    SPRING BREAK!! WOOOO!!!!
    Oh shit, you are not even old enough to know what that is…

  31. The Brown Streak

    “And then when he put that ring on my finger, it became all mine! Wait…who did I marry again?”

  32. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    carmen
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s definitely using the AbAbber2000

  33. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says beachwear like 6 inch heels

  34. TeeKay

    Ok….fake boobs, fake blonde hair, fake tan, fake abs. And who wears hooker shoes ON THE BEACH? The pictures themselves are just shy of Playboy and it makes one wonder how long until she actually poses for Playboy or Hustler. They are media whores of the first order. I have serious doubts that she’s seen teen years anytime in the last 5-10 years!

  35. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Herpderp
    Commented on this photo:

    So it’s legal to post nude 17 year old girls now?

  36. Ben Dover

    That is one creepy looking 17 year old

  37. Jade

    She is what.. 17? She looks used up already. Honestly, she looks like a 27 yr old smoking porn star. I mean, I can totally appreciate a beautiful woman, but there are different types of beauty. This minor’s beauty has porn star stamped all over her, what with the fake blonde hair and *cackle* her spray on abs. I mean, ffs mom and dad, buy her some abs instead of having your 17 yr old have to spray them on. What kind of parents are you???

  38. Jade

    Er.. and one more thing. I feel sorry for the men who have to buy women. Seriously. This guy (whoever he is), Hugh Hefner, Charlie Sheen.. all pathetic guys who think that the money grubbing skanks are actually quality people to spend their time er money on.

    Kudos to this chick’s parents though.. they should be proud. They’ve raised a whoretastic daughter. And to think mine just graduated #6 in her class and got a full ride scholarship to a good school. Had I prepared her better, she could have just played old men for their money for a few decades, done some porn, and pretended she was happy with her geriatric lovers.

  39. Anonymous

    I seriously hope that she and him end up dead soon. I can’t stand this nobody and his fake “teenaged” bride.

  40. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    xxxxx
    Commented on this photo:

    who the fuck wears heals to take a walk on the beach?…. so fucking stupid….

  41. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    xxxxx
    Commented on this photo:

    watch out, your boob it´s totally out…. fucking stupid

  42. AnnaDraconida

    Those…. “people” represent everything that’s wrong with America and the world. Yes, everything.

  43. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s dying from cancer, right? Is that what the bandanna is for? She’s just cashing in?

  44. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like freakin’ Speidi all over again.
    I hereby dub this papparazzi-alertin’, fame-whorin’, cardboard cut-out duo “Dourtney” (unless someone else has already of course…)

  45. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Jester51
    Commented on this photo:

    Here is my take on this whole thing. If she is indeed 17 years old, she looks more like a 40 year old. You do the math, by the time she is 40, she will look like a 63 year old. Age will not be kind to a lady that starts out looking like this. Enjoy her while you can Doug, it won’t be long until she catches up to you and you will need to find a newer model.

  46. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    maurie pollo
    Commented on this photo:

    she seems a tad orangy

  47. Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos Airbrushed Abs
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this Twat have f*cking sprayed on abs!!!!!!

  48. Danklin

    If you guys buy this bitch is 17, i got some swamp land in florida i wanna sell you. This chick looks about the same age as Dina Blowhan.

  49. LaLi

    Airbrushed abs FAIL.

  50. anonym

    hahaha. that top is stuffed. It doesn’t even fit.

    this couple is the next Montag-Pratt

    in some pics, she looks like Helen Hunt………who is 50

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