Courtney Love Is Lindsay Lohan’s Sober Coach

If you’re wondering how Lindsay Lohan’s sobriety is going, terrible. It’s going fucking terrible. Probably the worst you could possibly think of it going. Via Independent Woman:

Courtney Love has claimed she is Lindsay Lohan’s sobriety coach.
… “I’ve taken up Lohan because nobody else will. She’s further down the line than I was, because there was no [gossip website] TMZ then,” she told Details magazine.
Courtney didn’t reveal any more details of her relationship with Lindsay, and the younger star has not yet commented on the report.

Much like Charlie Sheen, I’ve pretty much reconciled myself with the fact that Lindsay Lohan will never die because God secretly loves drug addicts. But if there somehow is a way she can be killed, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be this. This should do it.

Photos: Splash News