Posted by Photo Boy
Since we now exist in a reality that includes Lindsay Lohan method-acting her Lifetime network role as Elizabeth Taylor, Octomom getting paid to flick the bean and Kim Kardashian as a possible mayoral candidate, why not toss Courtney Stodden‘s music career into the mix, effectively flicking a lit match onto the whole gasoline soaked pile of what used to be American culture. Radar has the story of how a vacuous brain-washed pseudo-child can become famous in this country for saying things like “I’m really excited about the new song. I’m working with a couple of really sexy producers!”:
The 17-year-old Teen Bride has released her newest song, which she says is all about lust!
Holy Cow!! Honestly though, who knows more about lust than an old transvestite lady pretending to be a kid married to what is ostensibly a clever child predator who happened to find a loophole in those pesky laws attempting to prevent pedophilia? Oh no, I think I just back-doored myself (Fellas? Ladies?) into a logical explanation of why this song makes perfect sense. EJECT!
Photo: Splash News
It’s like some dude watched Connie and Carla and said “I can top that!” (and then failed horribly)
I think she was watching Heidi Montag’s old video and thought, “if that vapid blonde can do this, so can I! Honey, get me Rebecca Black’s auto-tuner!!
For some reason I’m grown a yearning for heidi and spencer.
Is that a smile ? How frightening. That is just bloody scary. Yikes. And ewww. Can she not just wear normal clothes ? Like jeans and a t-shirt, or … something normal that isn’t all about her fake tits spilling all over the place or those fucking stripper heels ?
Not a smile. He’s gathered the loose skin up at the back of her head.
Most fuckable I’ve ever seen her look
It is about lust. She remembers lust from when she was 17. It was 1980, and it was Morning in America . . .
Kudos for using the ten-point word, but it’s spelled v-a-c-u-o-u-s.
every time I see her I think of Jessica Rabbit. a poorly drawn cartoon character.
Jessica Rabbitt is way hotter than this bag of silicone
Must be from the same people that make Lights sound half decent.
OK I think even more disturbing is Photo Boy’s reference to Octomom flicking her bean.
1. We know it’s more like a lemon.
2. Oh wow, I will need 3 liters of bleach to remove that image from my mind.
Dude looks like an old butch!
I wonder if these two sit at home at night and compete about who hates themselves the most.
I’ve often wondered what they talk about period, never mind at night. Can you imagine the brain cells between the two of them ?? *wrinkles forehead and raises one eye* I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall after that fucking disastrous Dr. Drew show that exposed her implants and embarrassed everyone. Whoopsie.
She’s more shite work done on her face. Explains why she hasn’t been whoring herself out for the past couple of months. Gotta let that swelling go down.
That dress is way too long.
I’d feel pretty awkward bringing a prostitute along on my daily errands
Not if she was paying the bills.
I can make a song, too! I take two iphones, connect a call, then take a bullhorn and sing the crescendo of “I Will Always Love You” in to said bullhorn, direct the phones at each other until it makes feedback, then funnel that through an autotune machine. It’s lusciously lustful and lubricious.
I love this chic.
She fucking makes my day.
Who wears that shit to Target??
Whores of Target.
I’d bang her, she is not bad looking and actually listen to her song, it is not bad. She does not sound any different than Britney Spears or Katy Perry to be honest. In the category of not real singers she fits right in perfectly.
People hate on this chick, but I guarantee that 100% of the men would bang her in a second if she said she wanted to and quite a few women also. She is better than the fat nasty Kardashians or Jersey Shore garbage.
Maybe, but only anal or oral. Couldn’t risk having to deal with her until a kid goes off to college.
You’d bang Courtney Fuckin Stodden but not Charlize Theron? Got it – your white van is double parked.
Damn Charlize, I really fucked your head up. I don’t remember or give a shit about you fucker’s comments from one post to the next but your loser ass is obsessed with comments from over a week ago by one person? How fucking lame are you?
I am sorry you are some old ass sensitive middle aged chick that no guys want to fuck anymore, but get the fuck over it and move on bitch.
Don’t flatter yourself – I just like to keep track of the pedos. Just like I’m sure your neighbors do.
your apostrophe is in the wrong place, it’s you fuckers’ (because it’s plural)… Go Yo Mama…hehehehehe.
What a dickhead you are. Is “old ass sensitive middle aged chick that no guys want to fuck anymore” the only come back you have in your repertoire? Dude, everyone grows old and unless you’re extremely handsome (beauty is fleeting, i tell ya) or have a lot of acquisition power (that means money, you retard), you’re going to grow old too (with soggy and wrinkly balls nonetheless) and as such, the only people you’re going to be able to fuck (if you’re lucky) are middle aged chicks, so do me a favor and shut the fuck up. fucking loser.
I kinda lean towards agreeing with you, El Jefe. I’ve definitely heard much worse caterwauling that was mis-named “music”, and I’ve seen many women who are not as shapely. I suspect she might even be a fun poke if one could get her out of those ridiculous stiletto heals and induce her to speak like a real person.
Katy Perry writes her own songs and has talent. This silicon nut-job is totally full of crap. I wouldn’t listen to her laughable music if it was the only sound I could hear, I’d rather go def. This auto-tuned crap is terrible. I’d rather listen to nails on a chalkboard.
Hey dudes, Courtney’s new single is out, so pedo-file into music stores and get it now. Purchase is statutory for all Courtney’s fans! You can also book a live performance – just call our marketing director Chris Matthews about meeting a Courtney look-alike in person. Its so good you’ll want to report to local police about it every time you change addresses! Brought to you by Legal Isn’t Moral productions.
Chris Hansen is the one that catches the predators, Chris Matthews is a child molester.
Will I have to spend a lot of time in purgatory for thinking that I’d actually want to nail this Courtney slut?
Even in her song she pronounces “real” like “rill”. I rilly wish she’d go away.
NO.FUCKING.THANKS! She is a hound.
Wait, she’s a lesbian now? Who’s the old chick in the hat?
Well, given I’m predisposed to lusting after skanky strippers and straight up sluts in college, this girl makes my pecker hard.
“Don’t do me like that girl, don’t do me like that girl, don’t do me like that girl….no, no, no no no no
(I’d be lying if I said I never cranked one out to this video)
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/01/randall010808-300_460.jpg[/img]
Ah, the good ol’ days…
I love you!
Fuck the marriage license – I want to see the contract each made the other sign.
She looks like some kind of pleasure cyborg. I want to bang her but I’m a little scared.
I’d be scared those chicken legs would break apart during the act.
Fucking autotuned horseshit. Porn and STFU. But STFU first.
Wow. That song required more machinery than a sweatshop in China.
fantastic!
I was so sure the lyrics were going to be:
Tits on a stick,
Tits on a stick,
Lookin’ like a fool with yo’ tits on a stick.
You got your fake orange tan,
Your pedophile spouse,
You’re lookin’ like a fool with yo’ tits on a stick.
Put some pants on!
Another skeletor with oversized fake tits to distract from the fact that she has no hips and legs like toothpics.
Was that meant to rhyme?
yep. he still looks like a lezbo.
a really fug one
LMAO! +1 sir. Well played.
this is a perfect couple.
sexually, she needs a daddy figure, and he needs a daughter figure.
both are untalented. Perfect match.
I have to applaud Stodden for taking away the spotlight from Heidi. She needs to lay off the spray on tans though.
I listened to her song, and I was expecting my ears to bleed.
But I must admit, Courtney’s voice sounds the best out of all the fame whore bimbos.
Even with all the autotune, it sounds better than that Friday song.
I put it a notch above Paris Hilton’s.
Certainly more ‘talented’ than Kim kardashian.
She powders her ass with that pink poof.
She’s fake, stupid, and tawdry, but her legs and ass look pretty damn good in these pics.
Sure, if you’re attracted to children with fake tits.
She’s not a fucking child. She’s just 3+ months shy of 18 years old, and where I come from that is considered an adult. Hell, she’ll be able to vote in the upcoming election.
Children don’t vote unless it on what movie to watch or what flavor of ice cream to eat.
pretty sure those are the biggest issues plaguing her in life still….
what ever president offers more tv channels and more ice cream wins!!!!! yaaaayyyY!
ah yes, but their marriage has still lasted longer than most hollywood types,LOL
She looks like she never bathes; bet the smell between those legs is horrendous. I’d rather do Rosie.
GODDAMN YOU…now my dinner just came up.
Based upon her attire, I’d say that she’s one wrong move away from an indecent exposure charge.
Jeez, what a sight!! Completely laughable.
Looking at her reminds me of Dolly Parton saying “You want to know what’s fake about me? The better question would be: what is real?”
OMg ya’ll! That song was FAB!!!
I made it through 32 seconds, can anybody beat that?
That bitch took out her rid bones to get that hourglass waist
I know how plastic surgeries work
is she with her mom ?
Looks like the honeymoon phase wore off.
“Dougie, get in the kiddy seat in the cart.”
“Can’t make me.”
nice tits, big shame about the tranny face
I made it through 10 seconds of the song and thought it was Forgiveness from Just Friends… but worse…
I mean seriously…. you fuck this once, ok, you see the bouncing tits, shaved snatch and bleached asshole… ok. You fuck it again, you see the same thing, You fuck it again, you see the same thing. Sooner or later it HAS to get old seeing a barbie doll on your lap.
Welcome to the real world. It’s called monogamy. Or is that monotony?