Christians Hate ‘Cosmos?’ How Unexpected

March 11th, 2014 // 95 Comments
Neil deGrasse Tyson

Unless you live in a cave and/or are home-schooled, you’re probably aware that on Sunday night FOX, of all networks, relaunched Cosmos, the beloved Carl Sagan series, thanks to Seth MacFarlane who was instantly on board after being pitched the show by Neil deGrasse Tyson. It signaled a new age of rejuvenating scientific curiosity after decades of becoming a stupider nation by the minute. So naturally the people responsible for said dumbening aren’t too pleased that the show presented the Big Bang as the creation of our universe when everyone knows it happened like this:

1. “Umm… universe, on!” – God
2. Men be like, “Bitch, we don’t need no more apples.” Women be like, “We eatin’ them damn apples.”
3. Menstruation.
4. The real Garden of Eden: The 1950s.
5. BLACK ARMAGEDDON.

Boom. History of the world unlike the lies on your television box which my Christian brethren will tell you all about:

The Fundamentalist Christian Reaction To Last Night’s “Cosmos” Debut – The Daily Banter

And here’s Chocolate Space Satan trying to corrupt Stephen Colbert:

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Greg

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • And that was Greg’s impression of everyone woman that’s fucked him. Let’s give him a hand, folks!

      • Leave the poster chastising to us, we’ve got it. Makes you seem petty.

      • Slash

        I enjoyed it.

        Unlike Greg’s sexual partners.

      • Butt Plugger

        You sound like a traumatized pussy that was bullied in high school with your constant far-left posts.

      • Satan's Right Hand

        Hate to break in to you but Science isnt Left or Right. Unlike politics it is based on facts or theory waiting to be proven.

      • True, but time after time, the rejection of science in favor of mumbo jumbo is the domain of the right, making you know “evidence” based explanations the de facto domain of the left.

      • Mosebar

        More Democrats than Republicans believe in astrology. A ton of Democrats believe in creationism. Leftists also buck scientific consensus on nuclear power, animal testing, genetic engineering, etc. Others think 9/11 was an inside job. But go ahead and keep pretending that it’s only the Right that is anti-science.

      • Jeeeee-zus!

        You son of bitch! How dare you use logic and reason on the internet! Burn in hell!! (nah, I loved your response). Having said that, um, religion has played (more) of a major role on the conservative side of politics. Hopefully, there will be a time when we are all intolerant of anyone that worships imaginary beings in the sky. It’s a sad mass delusion that science and rational people have to put up with. I think religion should come with a warning label, like cigarettes and alcohol: “Warning: religion may cause you to 1) burn people at the stake, 2) fly planes into building 3) in general, kill people in the name of your god(s)”. Peace! (gotta run, I’m watching the Bachelor on Hulu…yes, that just came out of my mouth. Screw you, haters).

      • Kam

        And we all know that ALL the scientific theories are ALWAYS correct, they just are waiting to be “proven.” What a ridiculous outlook.

      • So are you saying that bullies in high school are far-right assholes?

      • Mike Walker

        Actually, fish was traumatized from late nights in the rectory basement with Father Stinkfinger.

      • Greg

        Well I guess that was an interesting response, but I guess that’s expected from a website called the ‘not deep or serious’. I actually had zero problem with the ‘Cosmo’ show, I just found your article, where you cut and pasted from Chez Pazienza article, kind of lazy and almost trolling for web hits.

        ….but you sure got me with the sexual partner jab….that was a burn. ;)

      • Suck it

        Copying and pasting? WTF are you talking about? Compare the two articles. You’re being ridiculous.

      • Suck it

        Cutting and pasting *

      • Wait, don’t you mean, “Let’s give him a hand… job, folks!” Because, you know… no ladies and stuff. Damn, it! It’s all in the delivery!

      • Mosebar

        Of course this site dare not rip other religious groups that also believe in creationism. Much easier to rip on the Christians.

        Hell, Muslims in the Arabian peninsula are pissed off about the movie Noah.

        Go ahead and rip Islam, Fish. I dare ya, tough guy.

      • If Islam were the dominant religion in the U.S. — where, as you may know, Fish resides — then I’m sure he would. But since it isn’t, the opinions of Islam about a U.S. television program have absolutely no bearing on the topic at hand, and this is just another case of butthurt Christians trying to obfuscate the issue.

      • There are plenty of Christians, including me, who do not believe in creationism and are not conservative.

  2. It's Always Sunny in Atlanta

    Those christian tweets referenced in the linked article are hilarious. I think we should have a caption contest where we can only caption “The Crap we Missed” with them

  3. Cock Dr

    It is an unbelievable irony that Fox is airing that show.
    Sagan would have appreciated that but I think he would be appreciating 3rd millenium US grade A legal weed even more.

    • I would smoke up with Sagan, my weed ain’t legal but the skygod created it along with everything else in the universe (Genesis 4:20).

    • Ultimately FOX just airs what they think will bring in the dollars. And they are god at it. You might think they have some right-wing bent, but i think it’s just good business on their part. They’re whores. What I’m saying, FOX is a giant whore. But to be fair, so are all media outlets.(Except for you of course Fish!)

    • What’s ironic here? We’re talking Fox here, not Fox News. Sure, they have the same parent company, but that’s like saying it’s ironic that 12 Years a Slave was released by Fox Searchlight…

      • Johnny Barbells

        …that’s exactly what we’re saying …fox is as duplicitous as it gets …i have laughed for years at how the fox network has consistently aired programs that were in direct odds with the values of the fox news network …especially when you consider the fact that rupert murdoch has been a staunch, outspoken supporter of the right-wing conservative movement in the states …and yet, for some reason, you never hear about the right launching any kind of campaign against him …the hypocrisy is [kisses finger tips] delicious.

      • I still don’t see what’s so hypocritical. It’s two different channels, with different people at the aim. By all accounts, a big reason Fox News is that way it is is due to CEO Roger Ailes. Fox has its own president, FX has its own president, 20th Century Fox has its own president, Fox Searchlight has its own president, National Geographic has its own president, Star TV has its own president, Fox International has its own president, etc…..

      • Johnny Barbells

        …who all answer to rupert murdoch, and would’nt put out a product that he did’nt approve of, and he knowingly approved products with diametrically opposed points of view …either you’re in denial, playing dumb, or have no clue how it really works.

  4. Christiabns will do anything to keep people ignorant. Ignorant people love some religion. They can use it to answer an question, just like a conspiracy theorist can link anything back to Obama.

  5. Slash

    If you watched it, you could pick out the parts where various religious entities (esp. the Catholic Church) were going to shit a brick of outrage. In fact, the Vatican is probably gonna have to order many more bricks so that they may continue to shit them.

    How dare a TV show accurately portray the actions of one of the most powerful and corrupt organizations on the face of the earth at the time (1500s).

    Oh and that “universe is billions of years old” stuff. The arrogance of a highly trained scientist, thinking he knows more about stuff than the Jesus freaks. When we all know it’s only 6,000 years old. Because magic. That’s how it all happens. Magic.

    • Yeah, the Vatican’s totes going to lose their marbles over this one, boy howdy.

    • Walter Peck

      I hate to break it to you but he Vatican accepts the Big Bang theory (but says God was behind it). Funny how you sound just as ignorant as those ‘young earthers’ you mock. But since this is the Superficial I thought I should add TITTIES!

    • I’m actually kind of curious how the Vatican would respond (if that would even happen). Pope Francis seems more progressive than his predecessors.

    • Johnny Barbells

      @Slash… i was thinking this exact same thing …then again, i kinda thought it as soon as i heard they were doing it …is’nt it funny how, back in the unenlightened, primitive world of the 70′s they had network shows like “all in the family” & “the jeffersons”, and there was no public uproar, but now, in our more enlightened (politically correct) times, those same shows would never even make through the pitch stage, much less get on the air …and a show like carl sagan’s “cosmos” airs to great praise and goes on to become a modern classic, but the modern remake has to suffer protests and ridicule that the original never did back in 1980 …does that qualify as irony?

    • Skippy3000

      Slash,

      The Catholic church accepts the idea of the Big Bang theory and believes in divinely inspired evolution.
      Maybe next time you make comments about religious and science you should educare yourself before you open your mouth. You sound like yet another clueless left winger.

      Stop embracing ignorance.

  6. Cock Dr

    I support the bloggers right to vigorously defend any posting mentioning Carl Sagan.

  7. Who knew Neil deGrasse Tyson was a member of The Van Buren Boys?

  8. LikeABoss

    Hey, I’m home-schooled, and Tyson had me from the moment he put on his shades to watch the Big Bang, like a boss!


    Atheism: A non-prophet organization.

  9. JC

    The comment section on the linked article is also a goldmine of stupid. My favorite part is when someone points out (quite reasonably, in my opinion) that people who ignore Christ’s teachings shouldn’t call themselves Christians, to which someone responds that as long as you believe Christ is real, you can do any horrid shit you want and still be Christian. Because it’s not like that was the WHOLE FUCKING POINT of the story or anything, i.e., Jesus being sent down to teach people not to be complete pricks all the time. Dude just wanted some name recognition, that’s all. He was the reality star of Biblical times.

  10. Those christian posts in that link are disgusting. No wonder they’re also against abortion because they want to be able to freely continually breed that level of stupidity into society. Just remember retards, just a few hundred years ago you bastards would have burned someone at the stake for daring to say the earth revolved around the sun and not the other way around. Awful. A plus, at least those fundi’s aren’t into the level of crazy others are with bombings and the rest. They’d rather just blow peoples minds up with stupid laughable comments.

    • Mama Pinkus

      stupid, ignorant people have always been around; the problem now is the mainstream media is giving them equal time to air their nonsense – Mr. Tyson has called on them to stop that practice – (well, he asked CNN to stop showcasing the flat-earthers)………these nutcases need to be relegated to the fringe of the internet or right wing fanatic sites where they belong

  11. It’s a bold position to hate Christians in 2014 America. SO BRAVE!!!

    • In fairness I pity them so much more than hate. Some of those comments and tweets in the link…..wow.

    • Who said anything about hate?

    • Why yes I do hate christians! I hate the fact that the human mind is naturally meant to acquire knowledge and information so as to reach the highest abilities that the mind is capable of and yet garabage gutter trash “religions” like “christianity” instead closes the mind and wants the mind to NOT reach the full capability the mind is naturally capable of! BTW: did I mention that I occasionally attend mass to hit on the attractive women?

    • Just because I think your ideas are antiquated and stupid and that you fail to live up to the ideals you constantly espouse doesn’t mean that I hate you.

  12. Man, I wish white Abercrombie and Fitch model Jesus from the movie Son of God would come down here and stop all this fighting. I know he could make this all better. I am still waiting for my bushes or plants to catch on fire and start talking, it is going to happen any day now, I know it. Sadly the closest thing we have come to a burning bush in modern day history is Paris Hilton’s vagina.

  13. I would really like to hear the “Sandy Hoax” conspiracy nuts’ theories on this Big Bang vs Jesus thing

  14. Inner Retard

    Science and religion will never see eye to eye. In the blue corner we have “The basis of all is that which cannot be proven”. In the red corner we have “Only that which is proven can be true.” There is no overlap here.

    But it never stops impressing me that people believing in tolerance and openness to all can be so closed-minded.

  15. chokobaski

    I trust you will take up the fight against Judaism and Islam after you’ve defeated all the evil christians.

    Otherwise you would be a huge hypocrite.

    • Hey Chokesonballski –
      So because we entertain scientific theories, that makes us in a fight against all religion? Seems like religion is in a constant fight against science. Tell me who has been proven wrong more often than not?

      • chokobaski

        You obviously haven’t read many posts here, Fish is a militant atheist and a rabid liberal.

        I don’t think religion should infringe on proven scientific theories. Most normal christians would agree.

        This place is like reddit. Everyone’s laughably stupid and smug as fuck for no reason. You guys are just as abrasive and prone to circle-jerking as the christians you hate ( you wouldn’t dare criticise Judaism or Islam because you’re hypocrite pussies)

      • Wrong, I would dare criticize Judaism, Islam and every other religion out there. Absolute and utter bullshit. All of it.

    • christianity, islam, judaism ALL = gutter garbage trash “philosophies” that repress the mind and prevent the mind from doing what it was intended: acquire knowledge and information so as to function at the full capability that nature gave to the human brain.

  16. j/k

    Religion haters vs Fundamentalists haven’t you guys realized your’re both angry about what other people believe?

  17. JohnnyL

    HMMMMMMM…..

    1) God created the universe or

    2) to quote Degrasse in Comsos ” The universe started as something no bigger than a point” It’s all explained by mathematics that is just theoretical and we have no way of proving it and takes just as much faith as the belief in a God created universe.

    Which sounds more plausible? Just saying

    • JC

      Yes, because “angry vengeful dude in the clouds” is always the most plausible answer, especially if it’s something described by mathematics that idiots don’t understand.

    • Do you understand that in science a “theory” is not a guess? Scientific theory is a group of tested ideas, commonly regarded as correct, that can be used as principles of explanation of specific phenomena. The Big Bang is plausible. Creationism is based on faith and as such, has no substance.

      • Lame

        Do you understand that the Big Bang Theory was developed by a Catholic Priest at a Catholic University with the blessing of the Catholic Church? What other crazy Christian things will you claim? That they eat their young?

  18. Lame

    You do realize that a Christian Priest is the one who came up with The Big Bang Theory, right genius?

    • A lot of scientific discoveries were made by people of faith. And that only makes it even more laughable that modern Christians dismiss them out of hand, so I’m not sure what point you think you’re making here.

  19. The bible doesn’t mention anything about thesuperficial.com so therefore thesuperficial.com doesn’t exist.

  20. This is just fucked up! When Cosmos with Carl Sagan aired , it was like a breath of fresh air for astrology and science.Also the music was cool. Such interest enabled the Shuttle program to be funded and probes to be sent to other planets and mars. Now we the US are going backwards, ppl believing Jesus, a WASP, was riding a dinosaur throwing bagels and jugs of vino to his followers. Did I mention a theme park that subscribes to this shit. I better get a discount as a Lapsed Catholic !

    • Lame

      Astrology, huh? Clearly a bright group who gets their theology from a titty website.

      • I’m sure he meant astronomy – although it makes me cringe to see the two interchanged (since I have have an unhealthy obsession with astronomy), it’s fairly common that it happens, so I wouldn’t use that as a indicator of one’s intelligence.

      • Lame

        My point is obvious. The mockery here is of a strawman. The very thing that you dopes are trying to say Christians blindly reject (the Big Bang Theory) was actually developed by a Catholic Priest with Catholic funding in a Catholic institution. And since he died about a half century ago, he would be considered a modern Christian, since the modern era began with the end of WWII. Further, the Catholic Church (the largest Christian Church in the world), never condemned the Big Bang Theory and even praised it. Even worse, I read those tweets and I didn’t say anybody complain about the Big Bang Theory. What was reference was the show saying that its origins are mysterious. To the Christian, the origins are not “mysterious”. God created the universe.

        Basically you’re all idiots. But this is a titty site, so I should expect that. What I don’t expect is why a titty site called “the superficial” would try to delve into topics with any depth. Clearly that’s not anybody’s specialty here!

      • You are part of we kemosabe so if we are all idiots so are you lil wanna be genius.

      • Not So Sure I agree dare, Fish

        By “modern christian” are you referring to the standard issue post celibacy pedo priest, or the pre-baby-raping-closet-homo-in-the-public-park-after-dark kind?

  21. P.T.S. Potential Trouble Source

    My baby jee-bus is better than ALL your baby jee-bus’s……’
    merica!

    • Lame

      My point is obvious. The mockery here is of a strawman. The very thing that you dopes are trying to say Christians blindly reject (the Big Bang Theory) was actually developed by a Catholic Priest with Catholic funding in a Catholic institution. And since he died about a half century ago, he would be considered a modern Christian, since the modern era began with the end of WWII. Further, the Catholic Church (the largest Christian Church in the world), never condemned the Big Bang Theory and even praised it. Even worse, I read those tweets and I didn’t say anybody complain about the Big Bang Theory. What was reference was the show saying that its origins are mysterious. To the Christian, the origins are not “mysterious”. God created the universe.

      Basically you’re all idiots. But this is a titty site, so I should expect that. What I don’t expect is why a titty site called “the superficial” would try to delve into topics with any depth. Clearly that’s not anybody’s specialty here!

      • Not So Sure I agree dare, Fish

        They never condemned the Nazis while they were profiteering of of Jews during World War 2 either. They condemned it later, but kept all that cash money.

  22. THE REALIST

    http://www.godIsImaginary.com

    and thank goodness because

    …. he resides in the …

    http://www.EVILbible.com

  23. FishSucks

    Way to embed TWO autoplaying videos you fucking dipshit.

  24. So “Barney Miller” is back on Fox?

  25. Pookey

    I really wish everyone would stop bashing on Christians. If you believe in evolution, great! So do I. The bible does not contradict that. If you believe in gay marriage, then that is great as well. Again people’s choice. I am a Christian and I get tired of the constant slamming of my religion and my God. If you don’t feel the way I do or believe my beliefs, then that is okay. I am not asking you to or forcing myself on you, but in return I would ask the same of you. I never see any attacks on the other religions that also show no tolerance such Mueslems. The attacks are always on Christianity.

    I enjoy this sight, but the outright overt hatred towards us is too much.

    • malaka

      You’ve really never seen other people going after jews or Muslims or gays or women or men or blacks or Latinos or asians or arabs or rich or poor people on the Internet before??
      Shit.. I’ve seen all kinds of combinations of people attackin each other on the Internet before.
      Me thinks that you just might be seeing the world through eyes of favoritism.

    • RedBeard

      You’re dumb. Christians are the least persecuted people in this country. Your holidays are nationally recognized, your government lobby is powerful and thriving, and any “bashing” is just non-Christian groups trying to loosen your stranglehold on America. You aren’t being attacked, the playing field is being leveled.

      People don’t believe in evolution. They see the facts and accept the theory as scientifically viable. Belief implies some sort acceptance without information, like you do with religion. Stop confusing the two.

  26. shutupandsing

    Where are the quotes from these naysayers condemning the show?
    I haven’t seen any reports of anyone condemning the program. is this
    more leftists Christian bashing and propaganda from the Fish?
    Solinsky does teach that if you tell a lie enough times, it becomes true.

    Fish does realize that a Christian is responsible for the Big Bang
    Theory? LOL what a twat.

    • That is exactly what it is. As a Christian and a lover of science, I saw no problem with the show. I’m not naïve enough to believe SOME person out there might have been bothered by it, but I haven’t seen anyone ripping into the show.

  27. malaka

    They should have gotten kaku to do cosmos.
    That guy is brilliant.
    Tyson is kind of a putz.

  28. Mellllzy

    Chocolate Space Satan is the best thing I have heard all year. It cracked me up in my lecture, so thanks for that.

  29. Christians do not corner the market in being religious nutjobs. This is an equal opportunity thing; even atheists can get in on that action. For me, science is fact and religion is faith – one is based on empirical evidence and the other is based on belief, culture and community. There are plenty of religious scientists out there – even Christians.

    The broad sweeping generalisations do you no good, Fish.

    I get where you’re coming from. I grew up being the lone liberal protestant kid growing up in a sea of evangelicals. You gotta stop tarring everyone with the same brush.

    Also, how was Cosmos? Was it every bit as awesome as everyone was hoping? I keep hoping to stream it or hope that it shows up on my television soon.

  30. I sat down to watch this show, but was driven to turn off my TV (!) by the spectacle of 0bama assuring Americans they can rise above, er, something. As I turned off the TV (!) I guessed he must be talking about America rising above the efforts of him and other foreign-born agents to destroy all aspects of your economy and culture. Lucky for me, I’m in Canada, we have a Tory gov’t, and I don’t give a shit what donk blame-America-first gay bastards you assholes elect.

    Oh, and Lock ‘n’ Load!

  31. Some Christians. Some.

  32. The God of the fundamentalist is a SMALL God, that is because this God only exists between the margins of scientific knowledge. They refuse to listen to or follow any latest scientific discoveries and breakthroughs because they do not want anything to shake up their fragile worldview, they need to keep those margins wide.

  33. Bringbackbabalu

    Hmm some hateful liberal blogger stereotyping a race/gender/religion…no fucking way!

  34. Sam

    All I know is that a true scientist is the first one to confess that man still knows nothing compared to what there is to know, and a true “christian”, knows the very same thing. They both also understand that there is no division between science and religion- all truth is part of the Great Truth that is what was, what is, and what will be. Anyone else is a poser.

Leave A Comment