Cooking With Charlie Sheen

March 10th, 2011 // 41 Comments

Because this was bound to happen, here’s Charlie Sheen in a new FunnyOrDie sketch, “Charlie Sheen’s Winning Recipes,” which is admittedly not that bad considering how tired I am of hearing anything warlock or tiger-related. That said, I especially liked the part where he pulls out the pocket knife he put to Brooke Mueller‘s throat and threatened to kill her with – on Christmas. Because according to TMZ, Charlie was extremely professional and came up with “several cool ideas,” so I’m going to assume that was one of them and I dare anyone to tell a knife-wielding drug addict they want to go another direction.

CHARLIE: Alright, hear me out. What if I pulled out my pocket knife and started fighting this other knife that I’m holding right here in my hand? Tell me that’s not hilarious. I mean, me with a knife? I’m laughing just thinking about it. — Are you pissing yourself?
DIRECTOR: Me? Um, yes. From laughter. Ha ha ha ha.
CHARLIE: Right on. Well, I’ll be over here sharpening these and looking really pissed off if anyone needs me. We should do this more often. I’m loving the energy.


  1. its me fuckers

    so fuckin funny!!! Love it!

    Hire the handicap, they are fun to watch!!!

  2. Mike Walker

    Yawn… not even gonna click it.

    • flo's flo

      No shit! What the hell is with them posting it in the first place?? I hope their servers explode and burn down one of will farrell’s many houses.

    • Drew

      Yawn, typical douche posting on gossip blogs that thinks he’s above funnyordie. Cute.

      • Mike Walker

        There isn’t a FOD video that has ever made me chuckle. I doubt if this played out meme is going to be the first.

        I did fap to that Eva Mendes video though.

  3. taz

    Shouldn’t it be “Coking” with Charlie Sheen

  4. That was fairly funny.
    I thought I was the only person to eat tomatoes like an apple.
    Suggest he stay away from all on camera knifeplay if he ever wants to see his kids again.
    Get some sleep Charlie.

  5. Scripted Charlie Sheen isn’t as funny as effortless stream of crazy Charlie Sheen.

  6. Charlie Sheen Cooking Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure the part about eyes of fire is early on in revelations. Be afraid.

  7. reminds me of peggy bundy cooking with a smoke in his mouth. he should do that pumping gas

  8. I dunno. He seems much more self-aware than I expected.

    Charlie Sheen may be this generation’s Andy Kaufman.

  9. Marley

    That was literally the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t even watch the whole thing. Christ.

  10. IreneWienne

    This is his best stuff by fire. Had to watch it twice!

  11. Zee Brat

    Ehh. I’m over it.

  12. Charlie Sheen Cooking Show
    Commented on this photo:

    This is getting old now.

  13. strit

    that didn’t make me laugh once… and im an idiot. :/

    • Jovy

      I’m not even going to bother watching this shit. Just waiting for this man to die already so that we can stop hearing about him.

  14. Juan Valdez

    I am waiting for someone to photoshop this with an ‘I’m chargin mah lazers”

  15. sickntiredofcharlie


  16. LJ

    This, I imagine is the result of a strategy meeting early this week with Mr. Sheen’s legal team and business manager.

    They talked him into not doing anymore of his Ustream rants (as witnessed in the final “Torpedo” rant on Tuesday) because they would cause damage to his CBS/Warner Bros. 100,000,000 lawsuit.

    They then put together a script where Charlie (who is an actor) can play the part of “Ranting Charlie” to spoof himself.

    They can then begin to work “damage control” over the interviews of the past two weeks.

    Charlie will disappear from public view for the next few weeks while they try to get him grounded to a point where he can give a coherent pre scripted interview to a paid friendly interviewe­r, and some will believe that his manic behavior was all an act.

    He will then bounce out of control again before the end of the year.

  17. Charlie Sheen Cooking Show
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    with fire from his eyes and lighting bolts from his ass……

  18. Ponkur

    Mmm tommaco!

  19. rican

    Funny or Die? Die, definitely.

  20. argleblargle

    Charlie, you have overstayed your welcome. Please return to your home planet and win over there.

  21. mean tina

    not funny for a sec. saddest shit ever, except im not actually sad. hope he dies!

  22. Aussie Mama

    Fuckin’ awesome. Love ‘The Charlster’, he will be just fine, especially with that wicked attitude x

  23. Jude

    Matthew Perry should be the new two and a half men and Mr. Sunshine should be the Allison Janey show

  24. Brooke

    Charlie Sheen is really good with comedy (well, never liked 2 and a Half Men) when he’s actually focused. He makes me laugh in his shitfaced videos but that’s another kind of “winning”. But even he can’t match his usual speed when talking sober! I’m surprised he agreed to parody himself, I was expecting a video like this but with someone else…

  25. Completely unwatchable.

  26. That's Retarded

    That’s Retarded

  27. Charlie Sheen Cooking Show
    Commented on this photo:

    what an ugly guy..fur sure only with money can he find himself some whores.

  28. PollyWantsACracker


  29. Suddenly thousands of Scientologists convert to Charliasm

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