Conrad Murray Guilty Of Involuntarily Manslaughter In Michael Jackson Case

He still had so many lives to touch. Mostly little ones. With penises.

Dr. Conrad Murray has just been found guilty of involuntary manslaughter in the death of Michael Jackson to the applause of his fans, according to CNN:

Murray had no expression as the verdict was read.
That means the jury has found that Murray “committed a crime that posed a high risk of death or great bodily injury because of the way the act was committed or the defendant committed a lawful act, but with criminal negligence; and the defendant’s acts unlawfully cause another person’s death.”
… Fans of the late King of Pop began cheering outside the courthouse after the verdict was read.

Here’s what I don’t get, and keep in mind I’m not a legal expert or perhaps even a rational adult not looking for some way to nonsensically bring up Michael Jackson was almost undoubtedly a pedophile, but how is it that a black man who rid the world of a child molester is being sent to prison, yet a white man who protected one for years because he was really good at coaching football is probably going to get a slap on the wrist, if not keep his job with no repercussions? I don’t know why I just made that a race issue because, really, this is more about imagining what it would have been like if Michael started that football camp for underprivileged kids he always dreamed about.

MICHAEL: Joey, you caught the ball! Run to the end zone!
JOEY: Why did we have to take that shower at your house?
MICHAEL: Oh, sonofabitch… *rips off headset, punts clipboard*

God, that would’ve made him so happy.

(And that’s how I squeezed in commentary on Jerry Sandusky. Eat a dick, Penn State. — Wait.)

Photos: WENN