Comments of the Week – 11.6.2010

November 6th, 2010 // 73 Comments

Someone’s been creepin’.

Welcome to the inaugural post for a new weekend feature on The Superficial:

Comments of the Week

Here you’ll find the comments from the threads, Facebook and Twitter that actually made me chuckle despite years of reading anonymous Internet racism and rampant butt-sex lust rendering me incapable of human emotion. So hats off to these people for bringing their “A” games and creaming in the crop. I no longer feel like a handsome robot built solely for intercourse anymore. — Okay, maybe still that last part.

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery (Comments are in the top right.)

Photo: WireImage


  1. Bret Michaels Tish Cyrus
    Commented on this photo:

    so where do we click ?

  2. ChinoLatino

    First Bitches!!!!! FOAD!

  3. Jessica Alba Elle
    not funny
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever. Nothing remotely funny here.

  4. fester

    I just noticed that Brett Michaels and Tish Cyrus are wearing the same color lip gloss, eye liner, contacts and appear to have been injected with the same quantity of botox. Billions of dollars spent on scientific research and development so our hillbillies can look just like wax dummies. Yay America!

  5. ironyx2

    were those real quotes from superficial commenters?

    If so, you must have mad a mistake and meant to call this thread:

    “Most unfunny, irrelative comments ever posted on the superficial.”

    Seriously, I didn’t use a single muscle in my face upon reading those…

    WTF is happening here? Is Jon Stewart taking over writing here? Seems as unfunny as his lame shit.

    • Joe

      Yeah someone “mad a mistake” alright, or is that your attempt at humour? if it is I think I see the problem!

      • fester

        Not to mention the erudite ironyx2′s Theory of Irrelativity. My guess is that his screen name is a reference to the golf club typically found between the 1 iron and the 3 iron.

      • fester

        I’m always a little amused by people who take the time to post a comment to the effect that reading something was a waste of their time.

      • The ONLY HETERO in this Joint

        Get over yourself. You ain’t ‘all that’ bitch. You write a sporadically humorous blog that mainly specializes in mocking the looks of women that wouldn’t even piss on you if you were on fire.

        Each and every time you try to write something remotely topical on the subject of politics or – worse – Ben Roethlisberger’s private life – you come off sounding even more effeminate and hysterical than Nancy Pelosi. Jesus Christ Fish – Barney Frank laughs at you.

        I wish you’d spend just a bit less time telling us how ‘fat’ Jessica Simpson is and more time considering the viewer/user experience here at The Superficial – hands down one of the MOST frustrating user experiences imaginable. Fish you’ll be shocked to find out you can actually blend a great user experience with entertaining prose and be the better for it. Otherwise you’re just another douche with a laptop and a hotspot at your local Starbucks who thinks he’s Al Gore.

        Take your hand out of Gavin Rossdale’s pants long enough to Google ‘Ajax’ and get a fucking clue Fish – you need one.

        Hate to rain on your parade Fish but there’s nothing more aggravating than a self involved douche who thinks his comedy bits are any better than anyone else’s – truth be told Fish – your posts have become repetitive and pretty dull: I actually think most folks come here for the welcome opportunity to go mano-a-mano with other anonymous losers (yeah yeah I know: Just like me!).

        I know you have your supporters Fish…but so did Senor Wences…Think about it.

      • Jones

        I’d pee in your butt.

      • dumbass

        Why’d you bother? None of the comments you chose were funny at all. Your reply to that post was pointless, and also unfunny. Readers here are perfectly capable of reading & deciding which comments they get a laugh out of. Skip the political commentary, don’t waste time on another feeble attempt at posting which user comments you think are funny, and next time you feel like responding to a post, just skip it. Stick to the snarky comments about celebrities & the bikini pics – that’s what we’re here for. I like raisinets – but if I find a rat turd mixed in the box more than a few times, I’d most likely swear off raisinets for good. Your unfunny political commentary is like the rat turd in an otherwise perfectly good box of raisinets.

      • Johnny Cage

        You’d let her piss in your butt? Pfffffftttt! I’d let Jessica shit on me while we beat a fat black woman with a rubber fish.

    • ppl

      I come here for the pics and users comments. I briefly skim FISH. Honestly, it’s the users comments that make this site works. And yes ONLY is right… very user unfriendly. I hate the frickin scroll tab, just show all the thumb pics when it first load up.

    • The ONLY HETERO in this Joint :


  6. George W. Bush
    tracy is stupid
    Commented on this photo:

    uh oh tracy is gona have a problem with this! what a bitch

  7. Jessica Alba Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    You called yourself “not funny” so no suprise you’ve no sense of humour!

  8. Jessica Alba Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    the problem is that you’re jokes are SOOO much funnier than these clowns.

    I say retire this feature and keep your weekends!

    • While I appreciate the compliment, I thought it’d be cool to recognize the “clowns” who actually take a stab at being funny and legitimately make me crack a smile amidst the usual riff-raff around here, or any comment board for that matter. Don’t get me wrong, “I’d pee in her butt,” is always a classic, but there’s only so much bitching, moaning and Klan meetings you can wade through before you start to think The Onion has shit figured out.

      Adding, I really would pee in Jessica Alba’s butt. That’s mostly what was I getting at here.

      • J-Sin

        Stay classy, Fish.

      • Nameless

        I’d hit da superfish!

      • Jade

        Some of the comments were okay. I mean, I can’t do much better. But to make it a weekly feature….hmm I’m not sure. Monthly would be better because then the chance of coming across something that is actually hilarious is bigger.

        But really Fish, aren’t you afraid that this feature starts off a painful competition of people trying to be funny? Just watch Jim Carry on Ruby Wax. (Or maybe you shouldn’t. It will make you cringe.) I mean, I can handle stupid, ignorant and horny people and wannabe politicians. Invasion of the Clini Clowns however is something I’d rather pass. But hey, it’s your site…

      • gogo

        always wanted my words to appear on that pink background,,.

      • Heyzeus Hosay

        sweet. he (they?) read our lame comments….but really, most of these Comments of The Week were not so funny….sep that las’ one…funny ass Trava Rainwater.

      • Spock

        ?! somebody messed up the space-time continuum.

  9. Joe Blow

    “SUCK IT, PELOSI!!!!!”

    - Me.

  10. The ONLY HETERO in this Joint

    Wow – where did the ‘funny’ go? It sure wasn’t this feature. The funniest shit of the week was Fish trying hard to be relevant on anything political.

    And what the hell is wrong about pissing in Jessica Alba’s butt? (Fish I’ll take Jessica – just busy yourself with pissing in Gavin Rossdale’s butt.)

  11. Miley Cyrus
    Commented on this photo:

    wow that girl has got an ugly mouth!

  12. Bret Michaels Tish Cyrus
    Commented on this photo:

    what a wonderfully close set of peepers on that one.

  13. Coco Halloween 2010
    Commented on this photo:

    This seriously made you chuckle? Doesnt take much does it?

  14. Jessica Alba Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    none of these were funny. you’re way funnier than this. stop it.

  15. Taking a break between movies, I thought I’d see if I missed any late Friday posts and “Comments of the WeeK’ is what I get. For all the effort, you could have just posted chicks in bikinis and stated “here’s some sweet bitches. Have a great rest of your weekend!” and we would have been happy to judge, flame, and fap in the comments area.

    That said, I gotta agree with some of the sentiments here:

    1) The selected comments were pretty unfunny. There were some pretty clever ones that were glossed over.

    2) Keep away from the politics. Freedom of speech is awesome and I support your right to express your opinion – but not at the expense of the community you have built around this site. Anti-clown should just start political blog and leave this site for celebrity stuff. GW and IWSW don’t do politics, and neither should you.

  16. Rachel

    I hope that hetero guy was joking. I do not know the name of the person who produces The Superficial and writes all the stuff. I never expected to know his name, instead thinking of my obsession as just “The Superficial”. This man’s writing is what I look forward to every week day. I know he will give me that deeply healing high I’m searching for…the feeling you get when your laughter explodes out of you. He is an inspiration to writers. Thank you for your writing…I’d like to read it regardless of the topic.
    But let’s get to the funny. I don’t mean to single Kloe out, but when The Superficial writes about the medium size child tied to a stake in the yard…wow. It’s not that we think she is fat or a cannibal, but it’s just so fucking goddamn hilarious. Or the whole Madonna dark lord thing. The tila tequila mockery. The LiLo shaudenfreuide (yeah i’m not looking that up for spelling). And this is just random shit coming to mind.
    In closing, to the haters, I’d just like to point out that the more human celebrities act/are revealed to be, the more we can’t help but like them. Except Charlie Sheen. And Mel Gibson. I’m all out of like for them at the moment. Except Charlie Sheen. Ladies?

    • Doc Schweinstrudel

      Word up, Rachel!
      I like Fish and the stuff he writes. I don’t always agree with him on politics but his writing is funny. Unlike the comments he picked – I didn’t get it.

  17. Bret Michaels Tish Cyrus
    Commented on this photo:

    terrible idea for a post

  18. Bret Michaels Tish Cyrus
    Commented on this photo:

    It would give us something to shoot for… IF IT ONLY WORKED!!!

  19. Jessica Alba Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank you so much for this, Another reason why The Superficial is the place o be.

    A million thank you’s and one reach around for this. Bravo.

  20. Fish – I know what you did and you know I know what you did. Not cool Fish.

  21. stevebeagle

    when a guy gets up around 50,, the whole guy liner thing looks just a bit silly.

  22. Bret Michaels Tish Cyrus
    Commented on this photo:

    It does work! Right column, very very top. RIGHT under the search bar. Big bold letters. See it now?

  23. jonesy

    If Brett Michaels jogs in the forest often, I wonder how many time he has had to use his bandanna to wipe his ass.

  24. Bret Michaels Tish Cyrus
    Commented on this photo:

    Comments (for those who can’t see them)

    1) Randy Quaid predicted this.
    2) Aren’t you a little short to be a stormtrooper?’ – Leia
    3) ‘See, that’s what happens when you tell a chick ‘I’m going to dress up as the Silver Surfer, you be Galactus.’ Off she goes to friggin Pier 1 to get the stuff for the costume.’ – Iveski
    4) ‘Wow, children of the corn (liquor).’ – fester
    5) ‘If you saw this actually happen in real life, you would tell your mates ‘I saw two chicks fighting with tomatoes.’ You wouldn’t say ‘I saw two hot chicks fighting with tomatoes.” – God
    6) ‘Take cover! She’s about to explode.’ – dufresne
    7) ‘It gets shot off by a short French general?’ – Lance Braun
    8) ‘Hey, when your job in the business is to fluff gay male pornstars, you don’t have the patience for women when they play hard-to-get.’ – Savalas
    9) ‘I felt em when I wrote em and I said em when I meant em and I did em what I told em and I yam what I yam. Now wheres that colored girl with the sammiches.’ – Trava Rainwater
    10) ‘I guess you don’t really need a script when you’re playing Stripper #3.’ – Bob Borelli

  25. Grand Dragon

    Bret looks like he’s about to give Hannah Montana’s mom the Shocker

  26. George W. Bush
    Trava Rainwater
    Commented on this photo:

    YAY! I’m famous!

  27. Katy Perry Lady GaGa Tomato Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow this whole thing is so loaded with fail. Use that as your next comment of the week. Please don’t ever subject us to this garbage again.

  28. George W. Bush
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, I laughed XD

  29. Jessica Alba Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    none of these are funny at all.

  30. Jessica Alba Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    I could eat alphabet soup and $hit better jokes than these.
    Welcome to boresville: population? Me

  31. wim

    she knew it……………………………..HE PREFERS BL*WJOBS!!!!!!!!

  32. George W. Bush
    Commented on this photo:


  33. Jessica Alba Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    There are a ton of funny comments posted on this site every day. And then there are ten of them that aren’t. At all.

  34. Jessica Alba Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    crackerleroy | November 7, 2010 at 10:35 pm
    I could eat alphabet soup and $hit better jokes than these.
    Welcome to boresville: population? Me

    Nailed it!
    You’re cracker one liners crapped all over this feature…oh wait.

  35. George W. Bush
    Heyzeus Hosay
    Commented on this photo:

    Trava, you’re my favorite. More please

  36. Coco Halloween 2010
    Commented on this photo:


  37. Bret Michaels Tish Cyrus
    Commented on this photo:

    Those comments are nowhere NEAR fish quality. I’m surprised he even laughed… What a lame post!

  38. Dang

    Yikes her eyes are .25 inches apart

  39. Jessica Alba Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    Were these chosen randomly? Not even smirk-inducing…. Well, except the kanye comment.

  40. Bret Michaels Tish Cyrus
    To all you naysayers
    Commented on this photo:

    If your name and comment was up there, I bet you’d think this post was the shit.


  41. Jessica Alba Elle
    Oh Dear
    Commented on this photo:

    Hahah I liked this weekend feature!

    Granted fish doesn’t always have a lot to work with….these were good!

  42. jayjay19


  43. Dave56


  44. Kate Winslet Halloween 2010
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes off to an swesome Halloween party.

  45. The Situation Marc Sorrentino
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, Lord, here’s another graduate from the Dipshit Acadamy….I’m SO tired of all these Cheeto-colord people….

  46. Kanye West
    What an idiot
    Commented on this photo:

    Kanye west is a fucking pussy… Gay Fish!

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