Comic-Con Day 1: Hope You Like Chins
Comic-Con officially started yesterday, and the excitement was palpable provided your idea of excitement is looking at chins because literally two of the biggest stories are chin hair-based. I’m not even joking. So here’s a quick rundown of Day 1, and all the lower portion of the face information that dwells within:
Megan Fox Showed Up
There was a time when Megan Fox showing up anywhere would melt the entire Internet’s face off, but now nobody gives a shit and she’s back to making Michael Bay movies where she belongs. Not to mention, her appearance was immediately overshadowed by an Onion video full of painstakingly well-made giant CGI turtle dicks. Immediately. Overshadowed.
BATMAN’S CHIN! ZOLY SHIT!
For the first official image of Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, fans were treated to a grainy as balls monochrome shot of Batman next to the new Batmobile. From there, an exciting picture of Superman looking exactly like he did in Man of Steel but more dark and serious because rain. And now building on that break-neck speed momentum is a close-up of Batman’s face where fans can marvel at his stubbly, butt-like chin. FEEL THE ENERGY! Via DC Comics:
The Avengers: Age of Ultron
Marvel realized four concept art posters for The Avengers: Age of Ultron because, let’s be honest, they don’t even have to try. They’re giving it the exact same treatment as Ant-Man, and it’ll still make a billion dollars. We’re like rats trying to get a pellet to them. *scurries under fridge* Cheeeeese…
UPDATE: They just added two more and that is definitely Vision. *builds a nest in your insulation*
LUKE SKYWALKER HAS A BEARD. ZOLY MORE SHIT!
Okay, technically this is from the London premiere of Guardians of The Galaxy and not Comic-Con, but enough nerds lost their shit about it yesterday, so technically it counts. Anyway, here’s Mark Hamill’s beard that he’ll be sporting in Episode VII because apparently Luke Skywalker with facial hair was all everyone needed to forget the prequels even happened. And if you’re wondering what the prequels are, nothing. I just made that up.
Rust Cohle In Space
And finally Matthew McConaughey and Christopher Nolan made their first Comic-Con appearances to promote Interstellar which now sounds even more bananaballs space awesome. Except when asked if he believes aliens are real, Matthew McConaughey responded, “I don’t remember them in The Bible. Alright, alright,” and everyone just kind of went, “Goddammit,” but agreed to watch the movie anyway because Matthew McConaughey will say any words that are in a script. He’s like Ron Burgundy.